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Bruce
Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 15
Internet, Cyber-Space, Everywhere

0 posted 2000-08-04 10:23 PM



Well, I’ve already received a warm welcome at this site, and for that I thank you! Now I’d like to share with you one of my stories. As some of you know I’m a janitor for a magazine and quite frankly it’s the strangest job I’ve ever held. Let me tell you about one night and just one mind you there are others that are stranger. Things are strange around there.

Now I usually start cleaning their office at around midnight, and so I did on this night. The office looked dark, there was no light shining under the door so I put my key to the lock and pushed the door open.

The room was dark so I clicked on the overhead light and then dearly wished I hadn’t.

Off in the corner there was a huge castle of glinting green metal, and by golly the thing was made of Mt. Dew cans, which might explain the castle’s occupants.

Standing within the gate of the castle was some guy in a dragon suit. He held a lighter in one hand and a can of aerosol spray in the other. He ran to the desk making roaring noises and generally making a mess. When he got to the desk he picked up a pile of papers and lit them with his little flame-thrower.

He ran around the room with the burning paper in his hands screaming, "REJECTED!!! REJECTED!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!"

Seems like things can’t get much stranger than that, but then a woman jumped out of an office. She was covered head to foot in aluminum foil and held a broom in her hand.

"Halt foul dragon! Touch not those submissions or I shall slay thee!"

The dragon guy laughed and bellowed, "Never! You shall have to slay me!"

The guy in the dragon suit quit laughing when the girl in aluminum started beating him with the broom, which was when he squeaked, "Hey! Intruder!"

That was when she noticed me, she leapt from the dragon guy and took off after me, aluminum fluttering in the breeze and screaming, "For CH and for honor!"

Well, that last thing I wanted to do was fight so I ran as fast I could for the nearest office and slammed the door shut behind me. I was breathing hard and then there was a light knock on the door.

"Bruce? What are you doing in there?"

The door opened and in stepped a woman, but she wasn’t wearing aluminum foil anymore.

"We were just finishing up, sorry about that."

And she handed me a broom and walked out with a guy, leaving me in a still swirling storm of aluminum foil, burnt paper, and Mt. Dew cans!

Anyway, the site opens up tonight... It's ok as far as online magazines go. The cool thing is that they let me do weekly articles in there... you can find more like this. Take a peek: Countless Horizons

Oh, and the people I work for are the ones who showed me to this place... you might know a couple of them!

Bruce


...I like libraries. It makes me feel comfortable and secure to have a wall of words...around me.
-Zelazny



© Copyright 2000 Bruce Doe - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2000-08-04 10:32 PM


I like your style!!      


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2000-08-05 11:55 AM


Welcome to Prose Bruce! I was really hoping you'd show up! And a great entrance! (Though I think I resent the Mtn Dew can reference!)  
StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
3 posted 2000-08-05 04:58 PM


hehe  this  was great  ...checking out  Countless Horizons now    ty for being so informative in such an amusing way
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
4 posted 2000-08-06 01:58 AM


LOL, what a riot!     

*Krista Knutson*

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara DeAngelis

jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
5 posted 2000-08-06 08:57 PM


Funny stuff, Bruce.  Let me know when your prime-time special airs, okay?  

Jim

Bruce
Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 15
Internet, Cyber-Space, Everywhere
6 posted 2000-08-11 01:24 PM


Thank you all for responding! This is such a great bunch here! I have to admit that I haven't been too keen on writing for a while. But I'm finding it to be addictive! You'll see more from me here soon!

Bruce

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
7 posted 2000-08-11 02:20 PM


Great stuff you have here Bruce, and it looks so oddly familiar...

Abrahm Simons

"Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-08-11 02:30 PM


Wonderfully hilarious.  I look forward to more of your nights to share.  Should be quite fun and interesting.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
9 posted 2000-08-15 12:44 PM


Hi Mark! You can read more of Bruce's exploits at my site! HE writes a weekly prose piece along these lines for me! Visit please, and look around the rest of the site while you're at it!  

Countless Horizons


Chris

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
10 posted 2000-08-15 10:16 AM


Welcome aboard, Bruce.  I simply love your style of writing, and yeah, I've taken a peek in your closet over at CH.  Wonderfully witty!  

Keep em coming, if'n ye'd be so kind and stuff.


Alicat, the Persnikitty

Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
11 posted 2000-08-20 10:49 PM


LOL Bruce... that was great... i'm just sorry I didn't read it sooner.  It deserves the highest honor I can give... the NINJA high 5!  Keep writing!

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today"
~Broadway Musical RENT~

*Cassandra Roseen*


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