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Silent Under the Stars
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Silent Under the Stars |
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Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. 
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'Why do the faeries hide in their nests?' asked Breeze. 'They should be out making merry beneath the Moon and the Stars, and yet they are silent.' 'I do not know the cause of their silence,' replied Midnight, 'I, too, am used to their singing and dancing. Their laughter always sounds like tiny bells. Perhaps we should ask Earth.' So, Midnight decended and Breeze swept low to ask their questions of Earth. But, as they approached, they heard crying and sobbing. A great mourning arose from the faerie nests. Midnight and Breeze were more puzzled than ever. 'Earth,' asked Midnight, 'why do the faeries lament so? They always make merry under Moon and Stars. Why, tonight, do they cry?' 'I do not know the cause of their saddness,' said Earth. 'Perhaps one of their greatest has passed beyond, perhaps they have forgotten the wine,...perhaps you should ask them.' 'An excellent idea, Earth!' said Midnight, 'I shall.' Midnight then squeezed himself down into one of the faerie nests, putting out the light and making all quite dark. 'Why do you lament so,' Midnight asked the faeries, 'when you could be making merry benaeth Moon and Stars?' The faeries replied, 'For we have seen a sight that is darker than you. It chilled our bones and broke our hearts; we saw a man who could not love! 'Of all the beasts on Earth, Men are the only ones capable of this beautiful thing. Though far too few of them use this wonderful gift, they all have the capacity for it. Or so we thought. When we saw this Man today, our blood ran cold. Love is what gives them life, what drives them on, without it they are lost. 'That is why we lament, for the one who is lost and will never know the joy of love.' Thus satisfied, Midnight and Breeze returned to the silence under the Stars. I think that the ending is a bit weak. Could you help? Thanks, Ian |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I really like this! You've got a great concept...the ending? Hmm....Maybe you need to be more specific...one many not being able to love is a bit vague..and I'm sure that the faeries have encountered this before so why now? What specific reason would they have for feeling this way now? I think this would make a good continuing story..perhaps even a children's book... I look forward to reading more.  |
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Ardonida Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 76 |
Hey!! I am a fae lover myself, and this was really, really nice. Dont ask me to make comments that are meaningfull either, I am prejadust to the subject!! Well done!! A. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I enjoyed this very much, including the ending. Faeries cry for many reasons and this could very well be one of them.  Good job ! |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
Very good, but I'll have to agree with Pdv what makes them so sure this man is unable to love? what brought them to this conclusion? |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ian: I for one would like to know more about what they saw that led them to their conclusion about the man. Lovely story. Thanks for the read. Jim |
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Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. |
jbouder, StarrGazer & Poet deVine; you are right. I think it does need fleshing out a bit but I don't want to get too preachy. The explanation must come in the faeries' voice and that could get long winded. I must think on these things. Thank you all for your input, when I revise I'll re-post. Sing while you may |
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