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Michael G
Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579
Nashville

0 posted 2000-07-17 05:16 PM


Storm

I could have loved.  I could have seen more than I wanted.  I could have felt and
been touched.  Instead I had become angry with my life, angry at the lack of courage I had
to over come my faults.  Angry at decisions I had made that I should have not made.  I
was not hoping for some long ago day, I wanted my passion.  I was angry for having let it
go.  I sat behind the wheel of my car, stuck in the ever present traffic of L.A., listening
absent-mindedly to some crappy DJ on the radio blaring out his nonsense.  I was looking
at my surroundings, the others stuck in their cars like me.  I cursed them for making me
miserable, for reminding me how bad I felt.  I was heading for a job that I disliked and at
times wondered how bad I needed.  I hated the people there, how they catered to the
higher authority with glee and glimmer.  My hatred and anger was full tilt, and the day had
only begun.
I was still five miles from my exit when I was overtaken by a sense of risk.  I
looked to my right, finding a bit of an opening and jammed my way through to the nearest
off ramp.  I was on fire, a feeling coming over me to rejoice some how.  I headed west,
back home to my little hovel of  space.  It took less time than I thought.  My neighbor was
still there.  I had remembered want she had asked me one day.  I went to her door,
knocked and prayed she hadn’t been bingeing again.  She answered, looking that strange
wake up beautiful.  She smiled at me, and asked me in.  I asked her if she still wanted to
trade.  Her eye’s were open now.  She said was I sure and I showed her the paper.  She
went to her room, coming back in only seconds.  In her hand she held the pinkslip to her
ex boyfriends motorcycle.  I signed the pink to my car, and we traded.  When it was in my
hand I stopped for a minute.  I must have been smiling big, and she kissed me.
I hugged her and left to go to my apartment.  I looked around, thinking what I
really needed, finding my backpack in the closet.  I packed it with cloths and essentials.
Dressed in jeans, a T-shirt and my Doc’s, I found my sunglasses and headed out.  I went
back to her apartment.  Her door was open and she told me to come on in.  She told me to
get something to drink and hang on a second.  I grabbed a beer, and for the first time since
I could remember, had a drink in the morning.  It was so damn good.
She came out of her room, dressed in a sun dress and heels.  Her hair pulled back
and her face radiant.  I honestly wonder, if women know what sun dresses do for guy’s.
They have to be one of the most erotic forms of dress.  They way it hangs on the female
body cannot be described without some form of lust.  She walked over to me, hugged me.
We had been good friends since I had moved here a year before, but we had never been
intimate.  I told her that anything she wanted in my apartment she could have.  I said
anything left over she should sell.  Tell the manager I disappeared or died, either way I
was gone.  Her eye’s said everything to me.  Open and filled with tears.  She came close to
me and kissed me with great care and feeling.  I could feel my own heart leap to life, and
held her so tight I thought she could not breathe.  
She looked up at me and asked if I was that sure about going.  I didn’t have to
answer, she new from my face.  She then told me she regretted not giving us a chance, and
that she wished she had now.  I kissed her again, and held her as she cried in my arms.  I
never would have guessed, I never saw it.  Here I was leaving because I felt unattached,
and had not been with anyone.  I was going because I need to start fresh, and the whole
time I could have started here.  But I still was going.
I kissed her again, and told her I would keep in touch.  That was not a lie.  I
walked out the door, headed for the garage, and found the bike.  It was ten years old,
well taken care of, I should know, for the last year I was the one who kept it running.  I
bungeed my pack to the seat back.  Put the key in, and hit the starter.  It came to life with
happy fumes and sounds.  I let it warm up and then swung my leg over.  I eased it up off
its kick stand, pulled on the hand grips and went back a few feet.  I put it into gear with a
small metallic thunk, and eased out the clutch.  I was off, to where I could not have cared.
I made the coast in record time, and headed north.  I wasn’t in any hurry, I would
ride until I felt tired, then just pull over someplace safe, and go to sleep.  Wake up and
start over.  I would ride like this until I found what I need to find.  I went past Malibu,
past Oxnard, hopped on the 101 and made it to Santa Barbara.  There I filled up with gas
and headed off again.  After S.B. the road turns a little inland, and goes through hills and
mountains.  They had become green with the winter rains.  They were covered with wild
flowers, those that California is so famous for.  I could feel myself relax, and in my mind
began hearing a symphony that I had once played at high school.  It’s songs and spirit
coming to me in perfect rhythm with the road and the scenery.
I made it to San Luis Obispo, a college town known for its less hectic rate.  The
locals call it Slo town for good reason.  I filled up again, grabbed a bite to eat at a retro
fifties style burger joint called Hudson’s.  The food was good, the price sucked, but the
beer felt better.  Off I went again.  Past small towns and not so small mountains.  I made
Paso Robles, and blazed through.  It had kept growing every time I went through.  I was
on a mission.  I could not have guessed where it was I was going, only that something
kept at me.  It told me to not worry about rest.
By the time the sun started going down I had made Redding and was going past.  I
pulled of the highway and found a nice little spot to park.  I pulled my pack off the bike,
undid the sleeping bag, and made camp.  As the sun went down I thought over all I had
seen, coming back to me in silent movie form.  I crawled in the bag, and before I new it
was sleeping restfully.
The sky woke me.  The sun yet to come up, but enough light was there to wake.  I
packed up and started the bike.  I went back to the Highway and headed North once
again.  On this day, it was more of a blur.  But I made it to Bellingham, Washington.  I
found the cheapest motel, and walked inside my room.  Four walls, a bed, a small TV and
the bathroom.  Perfect.  I showered, stayed naked and went to sleep.
In the night, I had ceased being me.  It was sudden and it was good.  I to this day
cannot say if it was a dream, for in it was all the truth that I needed to hear and had not
been willing to listen to.  She came to me, my neighbor Jill.  She came to me in her
sundress and nothing else.  She looked at me and laughed, smiled and cried.  She said I
had run to nothing, to start fresh from what.  From pain that had been gone years ago.
From sorrow that could not be real anylonger.  From regrets that were not my doing.  I
had run to nothing for I had run from nothing.  Here she was, she herself had not given
due credit to her own feelings.  She understood more than I thought, what it was I was
going through.  She herself, had run away, until she found out, but by then it was really
too late.
She came to me and held my hand.  And our hands melted into flame.  It did not
burn and I did not fear.  The flame rose to our arms as we embraced. It flowed over our
bodies and consumed them.  As we kissed it took our bodies and sent them free.  Free
form the sorrows that we had imposed upon ourselves.  Free from the pain that we had
thought we need.  Free from our fears to give love it’s due chance.  Free form all things
that would ever make us hesitate.  
Our bodies had exploded into flames.  Our molecules flying the winds that took us
over this land.  I flowed out and could feel it all with in me.  I could hear the Spring, the
colors of which made harmonies that we have ignored for to long.  They coupled with my
being, my soul, and made peace in me.  I could feel the cries of children that only want the
love they crave.  I thought how strange it was true for everyone.  That we all crave the
same love, and that at times we mistake one for the other.  That we let chances go, and
regret them.  I flew over the waters of this earth, letting it caress and hold me.  Letting it
cleanse my spirit in ways I had just realized.  I flew over it all, and then bolted up right in
my bed.  I cried out loud, not caring nor being able to stop.  I had felt the comfort I had
been seeking, but I felt I could not go back.
A month later, I was in my apartment in Bellingham.  A knock came to my door.
There standing in a sundress, holding a single bag, with tears streaming down her face,
was Jill.  Not a word could have been spoken.  I held her.  I wouldn’t let it slip by me
again, never.  I felt her hands on my back, caressing me.  I took her by the hand, walked
her to the patio.  There we sat on the ground, over looking the Puget Sound.  We sat
there and watched the Summer sun set.  And we began.

© Copyright 2000 Michael G - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-07-18 12:43 PM


Michael...
i really enjoyed this read...
it drew me in and held me..
you have written with a lot of emotion in this...
well defined intensity between the two characters...
and i very much enjoyed the sensuality...
lots of soul searching in this as well ...
thanks for sharing this
later gator
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2000-07-18 08:19 AM


Great tale Michael! You came full circle with it, a wonderful job introducing, presenting a conflict and closing it. I would like to see it a bit more fleshed out, perhaps with a little more justification as to why she came back though!

Christopher

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