»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
untitled
| Passions in Prose |
|
untitled |
|
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! 
|
Hello everyone, this is the foreword to a story I am writing. Please tell me what you think of it. *************************************************** "Today is the first day of the rest of your life!" How many times have we all heard this small, yet very true, statement? It's not very often that something happens that changes a persons life, but once it does, there's no turning back. I awoke to the voice of the morning drive time disk jockey relaying the message "If you're not already out the door you are really late." I realized then that today was not going to be one of my better days. So I got out of bed, grabbed a quick cup of coffee and headed out the door. Little did I know I wouldn't make it to work. I was driving down I-85 going over the most important proposal of my career in my head. If I made a good impression I had a very good chance of making partner at Parker & Bowles advertizing firm. And just when things were going so well for my career I oversleep on the most important morning of it. I could hear the low hum of the traffic as all the other people were making the same 'mad dash' that I was making. The soft buzzing of my electric razor, almost drowning my thoughts, was getting weak. I had forgotten to charge the batteries the night before. I exited off the interstate and made a left on Remount Rd. and that is where my story begins. *************************************************** I really don't know where this story is going yet , but I do have an overview of a couple chapters if any of you would like to read them just email me at jeffrey_carter1@yahoo.com Thank you for reading in advance  |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
demoninlove Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 211Dehradun |
Dear Jeffery, You asked for it remember - Well in my opinion the foreward does not tell us anything about the story and it does not arouse any interest too. You have to make it more attractive. There is nothing gripping about driving down a road and telling the reader about yourself. I would suggest that you either start with an explosive event - for instance  As I took the left on Rdmount Road, a figure in black leaped out in front of the vehicle with a gun in his hand - or something like that - and after a few lines tell about your reasons for being there etc - and in the last lines of the foreward... leave some unsaid words hanging compelling the reader to proceed to Chapter I Regards Deepak Menon |
||
|
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
thanks, that's exactly why i posted this piece was to get an idea of what peaks people's interests. i appreciate the honest reply |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Well, Jeffrey, I think I will need some time on this one... and I promise I will not let this one slacken like 63 hrs which is like still in its birth... phase... so sorry for that... I will e-mail you soon on this one... regards, sudhir |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
