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AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE

0 posted 2000-07-11 01:30 PM


Hello All
This is my first attempt in the prose section.Hope you all enjoy reading it. This topic being close to me I had to write something like living dead
thankyou for reading.

LIVING DEAD
        
September rains are falling hard while he drives on the same old roads. He can feel the winds through his open window like even they didn’t want him to get there, but something within wanted to see that same tree, that road they strolled on, those benches on which they spent hours together doing nothing, that fence within which he felt so safe. It is a long drive untill he gets there but he won’t realize that because he has an ocean of thought in his mind. It’s been years since she left him for reasons which were unexplained but still after all this times she still lives fresh in his memories. As he drives through the rain his eyes become more wet than the rain. He recalls the past and wonders if it were more painful or beautiful. While he dreams every once in a while his moving wipers wake him to reality. He looks at them and whispers “some things you just can’t wipe off that easy pal." Wet black roads, dark gray clouds but ‘Lush green trees’ that’s what she would say he thinks to himself and adds I bet you prefer feathery clouds indicating that fine weather.

       Hit the highway and still going, his stereo sings out that song while he’s still lost but strangely singing to the words as well as keeping track of the roads. Hauntingly he can still feel her presence in the car as though she was right beside, helping him navigate like always.
He could even hear her voice and smell her sweet fragrance if only he could feel her touch he thought and sighed...suddenly he saw a flash and heard a loud crash.
Still had his eyes shut, this time he was almost painless. The wipers kept wiping, the lights of the car shone bright, the rains poured and he was still seeing the visions of an angel that never was with dreams incomplete and his destination undone.

Some of us live our lives, some live others and then there are those who live in bizarre world of dreams, dreams that have been dreamt over and over again. For those who dare this state of being exist in a hope and a belief of their memories that take over them completely. He had been living in the dead for too long now the dead took over.



If all was light...then I would have never known the dark...from which evolves the truth...from which evolves the light



[This message has been edited by AVANTI (edited 07-13-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 AVANTI - All Rights Reserved
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
1 posted 2000-07-12 01:06 AM


Interesting tale you have here, Avanti.. I especially liked the ending. I did see some grammatical errors in there, though, if you'd like me to look this over drop me a line and I'll email you with some help  

Abrahm Simons

"Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
2 posted 2000-07-12 06:41 AM


I would appreciate that very much...i've sent you my e-mail address

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
3 posted 2000-07-13 05:03 AM


Thank you Abe..
(dusk treader) you 've been a great help!

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
4 posted 2000-07-13 06:10 PM


I know this too well..I've been there lately..but I said forget it and move on...

sincerely
a_l

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
5 posted 2000-07-13 11:20 PM


thank you for reading a_l.


If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-07-15 11:00 PM


very cool vanti....
lots of imagery and strong emotions...
powerful emotions and twist at the end..
wrapped up with the moral or lesson to be learned.
I d say this is a very worthy first effort
at prose.
Thank you for reading my first effort,
I really enjoyed the pieces of prose I did..
its a very relaxing process to me...
I just havent had the time or muse of late
to keep up with it.
Thanks for sharing this with me...
later gator  
jm



There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
7 posted 2000-07-16 01:03 AM


Thanx Janet
for reading as always and for encouraging me

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
8 posted 2000-07-16 04:53 PM


I like this! You carried the suspense all the way through..very good!  
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
9 posted 2000-07-17 12:01 PM


thank you for reading me poet de vine< !signature-->

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao



[This message has been edited by AVANTI (edited 07-17-2000).]

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
10 posted 2000-07-17 02:30 AM


Welcome to Prose!!! Excellent first attempt!
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
11 posted 2000-07-17 06:56 AM


thankyou christopher...
I am  

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
12 posted 2000-07-25 10:42 AM


Woh Avanti, that's an amazing first story and I really like how you ended it. Lets see some more !  
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
13 posted 2000-07-26 12:29 PM


thanx Munda...
you are always so encouraging
((((((((((hug)))))))))
later

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