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Hanging
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Hanging |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
You called me up to ask me how I can justify falling in love with your husband? Don't I know it's all in my head and that he doesn't love me? You tell me how much I've upset that man and you ask for my assurance that I will leave him alone. You tell me how much my behavior disgusts you and that I am a married woman and he a married man. All I can do is listen. There is nothing I can say to you that you could ever understand. You ask me if my husband knows what is happening. I tell you no. How could I explain to you that standing next to your husband made my heart beat a little faster, made my palms clammy and I have not a reason. And as much as I know he was never capable of loving me, it did not help me to love him less. That I think of him every day and cry for a love I can never know. That for the little time I knew him he made me feel beautiful and alive and all it took was his voice, smile and eyes. That I talked to him more in a year and a half than I talked to my husband in ten years. And how in admitting I had fallen in love with him how I also had to tell myself that I can no longer feel the same feelings for my husband again. I can no longer look at life the same way or feel the same way. And there is a tremendous amount of losing of "self" sometimes in trying to be as honest as possible and I'm truely sorry for what life's course has taken, but I am also disgusted that you can so easily judge me when you don't know anything about me. I'm the one who cries silently in the night and hurts so bad sometimes that I don't know what to do. I'm the one who in the shadows prays for safe tomorrows for a man that will never know, and I'm the one whose heart stops every time I hear of an accident and pray to God that it's not him. I'm the one who hangs in the balance of life and am left to wonder why me? I am the one who questions who are you to judge me? But I'm hanging, hanging by a thread. And there can sometimes be so much hurt in love that it is hard to see through it some times, but you and I have something in common, but you are not the one who is alone. |
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| © Copyright 2000 June Schultz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is great!!! I do think we cannot control who or when we love. Sometimes it just happens. I really enjoyed reading this. Hang in there...it gets better...after a lifetime. |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
what an honest and powerful play take care of you===PdV is right |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
PoetDeVine and haze: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer. I appreciate your comments more than you know, in this time of feeling alone, every word is welcome and maybe I'm feeling not so crazy after all. I actually didn't think anyone would respond, let alone anyone with understanding. Thanks again. |
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