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Patrick" - sequel to "Little Red Shoe
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Patrick" - sequel to "Little Red Shoe |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA 
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To everyone about to read this I suggest you read "Little Red Shoe" first. Just click on the posts from 60 days ago. It was posted sometime in April or May. I believe. You must read it first to understand who the mystery man is. So just give it a quick read. If you like suspense...then you'll love these two chapters and you'll be salivating for more. I promise. Jfreak ____________________________________________________ Darkness was all around him. He lurched forward, swinging and pushing. He could feel himself being weighted down by a number of things. What they were, he couldn’t tell. The only thing going through his mind was escape. To be free from...whatever. Then out of the darkness he heard a faint thud and a flash of light broke through, breaking the darkness, which completely startled him. He was so stunned by the sudden surge of movement all around him. He heard nothing, but there were several people dressed in white surrounding him, placing their hands on him. He began to panic. He started to jerk and squirm, then flail. “No they aren’t going to have me,” was the only thought running through his mind. “Sir, calm down, Calm DOWN!” Screamed the little white nurse. “Fellas hold him down! I can’t give him the Valium with him flailing around like that!” “Donna, it isn’t that easy. This guy is obviously a fighter. Plus he’s just reacting to the traumatic experience he’s gone through. He probably doesn’t even know who we are,” said Patrick, as he struggled to hold our mystery man’s right side down. Right about then Sean, the other male orderly in the room, let out a wail. Patrick quickly looked across to see that our mystery man had Sean’s wrist all twisted in some sort of contorted wristlock. Then Patrick heard it; the snapping, then the loud pop. With his only good hand, our mystery man had in reflex, broken Sean’s wrist. Sean screamed out in agony. Our mystery man continued to put pressure on the broken wrist as Sean fell to his knees beside the bed. Patrick, trying to help Sean, reached across and attempted to grab our mystery man’s hand. Before he could accomplish that, our mystery man let go of Sean, and with the greatest amount of force he could muster, caught Patrick straight across the throat with the flat edge of his hand. The force of the blow was so great that it flung Patrick backward, he collided into the wall, and then fell to his knees. All through this Donna was just standing there in shock not believing what she was seeing. When Patrick hit the wall, it broke her from her statuistic state, and she let out a wail. She quickly ran over to Patrick and dropped down in front of him. She looked directly into his eyes. Panic...like she had never seen before in her life. His eyes were turning red and his face a light shade of purple. She realized he was suffocating. She looked at his throat. It was a dark purple, the worst bruise she had ever seen. “Patrick, calm down, short breaths. Calm down Patrick and just breath. Don’t panic, just breath Patrick.” Patrick couldn’t do anything. He just crouched there on all fours looking at her. Tears began forming in his eyes. At seeing this Donna began to cry, “Patrick, C’mon and breath, you can do it. JUST BREATH!” So many thoughts were running through his mind. “I’m only 23. I can’t die like this. Not like this, not by his hands. Oh God forgive him. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon. We were supposed to go walk on the Great Wall of China. What is mom going to do? I won’t ever give her grandchildren. Oh Jesus...HELP ME!” Donna began screaming for a doctor, for help. Sean crouched on the other side of the bed moaning in pain, oblivious to what Patrick was going through. Our mystery man, though, was attempting to get out of the bed, when he noticed two huge casts on his legs and one on his right arm. He leant up and began looking around. Wires and tubes were all around him, on him. He was so turned around, he couldn’t figure out where he was. His only thought...”Escape.” He quickly jerked all the tubes and cables off of him, rolled over to his right and nearly fell on top of Donna. She was so completely startled, that she dove back clear across the room to avoid being squashed be our mystery man. Our mystery man had fallen face to face with Patrick. The room was utter chaos. Donna was so scared she was just screaming like a banshee. Sean was moaning. Our mystery man was flailing trying to get up on two casts, and was completely unsuccessful. Patrick just crouched there looking right at our mystery man. When he finally looked up and saw Patrick, their eyes met. Patrick let out a queer little smile, then just fell forward and died. Our mystery man let out the queerest and eeriest wail that Donna had ever heard; that she just sat there stunned in silence. She had never heard any sound that could compare. Our mystery man just fell limp upon Patrick stroking his hair. He then just became limp. He didn’t move or make a sound. By this time, several orderlies and a doctor had arrived. The orderlies pinned our mystery man down, the doctor gave him something powerful to knock him out, they attended Sean, and then pronounced Patrick dead. Donna had to be physically removed. Using restraints, the orderlies strapped our mystery man down. A security guard was posted at his door at all times. No one knew anything about him. Neither his name nor his story. He was temporarily deaf, so no one could talk to him. He was drugged most of the time anyway. The doctors wanted to slowly bring him back. The whole hospital was in shock over the incident with Patrick. There was a glum outlook on the whole floor on which our mystery man was being housed. The only thing the staff knew was the stories they got from the ER. It had been two weeks before the incident with Patrick that he had arrived. Upon his arrival he was completely in shock and mumbling something about people with no faces. Most people thought that he was probably an escaped mental patient, but after many phone calls and no reports matching our mystery man’s description, that theory was rejected. Many rumors were going around, but no one knew anything. Our mystery man had multiple fractures in his legs, right arm, and his right shoulder was out of joint. The only thing anyone knew for sure was this. He had gone through something very terrible and no one wanted him around. At first, everyone was intrigued. “Who is this guy?” That was the question on everyone’s minds. After the incident with Patrick though, everyone’s attitude changed. No one dared get close to his room unless they obviously had to, and then not without a security guard with them. Fear abounded in the nurse’s station. No one dared speak of the mysterious man in room 317, but he was on everyone’s mind, as was Patrick. Patrick was a new kid to the wing. No one knew him. Not really at least. It was kind of weird. He just showed up around the same time as the mystery man. Within days after the “Cretin”, the term endeared to him by most of the staff on the floor, Patrick just...arrived. He was as raw as they come. At least that is what everyone had assumed. He had just finished getting his RN degree at the local junior college. He finished top of his class, supposedly and had come highly recommended by some pretty influential people in the medical community. It was obvious he had friends in high places. Donna liked the kid. She was only two years older than Patrick, but she was also an RN and his superior, so as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t pursue anything. Not that soon at least. She thought it kind of funny though, that such a smart and attractive guy, such as Patrick, would be settling for a RN degree. Someone like him seemed to be more of a lawyer or doctor type. She couldn’t understand why he wasn’t shooting for his potential. She also could see him being a musician or an artist. A RN though, it just didn’t seem to fit Patrick. He was a hard worker though. She definitely noticed that, and that was probably what made her think that he was better suited for a higher line of work. Not to say that being a RN was easy, but the hours he put in were so much more for a nurse than normal. He also had a strange fascination with the “cretin”. Those were the thoughts running through Donna’s mind as the weeks passed and she began to reflect back on that dreadful day Patrick died. She started to try to remember what had exactly happened that day, the exact details of the incident. She had at first been haunted by the images in her dreams, but she just forced herself to block them out, but as she tried to go through the details, she found herself forcing the memories back into her consciousness. She remembered hearing the buzzer going off in the nurses’ station notifying them of the problem in room 317. Then she remembered that Patrick was already there by the time she arrived. He told her, “Go get 250 cc’s of Valium, STAT!” That the “cretin” was panicking and they had to get him under control quick. She ran back, got the syringe, and then headed back to the room. By that time Sean had arrived and they all busted into the room together. Sean and Patrick both took a side and she was waiting for an opportunity to inject the mystery man with the Valium. Then Sean screamed, Patrick hit the wall, then fell to the floor. Donna began to choke back tears as she slowly went over the memories frame by frame in her mind. “Then I rushed over to him and tried to calm him down,” she thought to herself. “Oh God, those eyes were so...crazy and scary looking. Almost the same eyes...” then a thought just about shook her. “Almost the same eyes as...as...him...the ‘cretin’.” She shuddered at the realization. “No it can’t be,” she gasped out loud. She went on retracing the events in her mind, step by step. “I was looking at Patrick, when out of the corner of my eye I saw him coming down, so I jumped out of his way. That look on Patrick’s face as their eyes met. There they crouched, both in panic, their eyes met, then both calmed. Patrick died and the ‘cretin’ let out some kind of horrific wail, then just fell limp. Wait, he was stroking Patrick’s hair. Why would he do that?” She just realized that some things were just not adding up. “Did they actually know one another? Patrick did defend that guy when the rest of us were making fun and throwing out accusations. I can’t think of any other explanation for Patrick’s actions and attitude. Something is definitely fishy about this whole situation now. I’ve got to find out! Who is this mysterious fellow?” Donna just couldn’t shake the weird feeling she had in her gut. A woman’s intuition was usually never wrong, and she had never doubted hers before. She wasn’t about to then. There was a connection between the two of them, Patrick and the mystery man in room 317. She just knew it, and she was going to find out just what kind of connection that was. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
The good thing about this story is that it continues from the last one..the bad thing is that when it's over, it leaves you wanted more right away!! So the next installment will be this weekend right? GOOD... |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Maybe Devine, just maybe...but don't hold your breath. The one good thing though is that writing this story is getting easier and easier by the second. Shouldn't be too long from now that the next chapter is posted. Keep the lookout. Jfreak |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Jfreak, I remember part one very well and also that you thought you could not do that again. Let me tell you.....this was awesome ! I'd like to read more ! |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Great continuation here.. ya certainly know when to stop to leave the reader slavering for more... lol. I'm waiting for the next installment! Abrahm Simons "In a moment lies eternity And in a kiss resides forever" - Krista Knutson my bestest friend! |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Hey Dusk and Munda, Thanks guys for the comments. Munda-it kind of discourages me that you didn't think that I could repeat what I did on the first installment. I am just so...HURT!!!   Dusk-Wipe your mouth man...shouldn't be too long...hopefully. Just be on the lookout. Just for your input. Or anyone at that...Would you rather me focus more on Donna's investigation or on the mystery man. Maybe...just maybe I'll focus on Melissa. Just let me know where you guys would like to see this go next. I will see what you guys think and then maybe it will help me with future chapters. I better watch out...I might just end up writing a novel...b/c I don't see this ending anytime soon. JFreak |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Hey bud, I finally got to it! Sorry it took so long. I thought we were gonna find out who the mystery man was? If I were you, that's what you left off with was Donna going to find out what Patrick and the "cretin" had in common. So continue there. Donna going into the investigation of the two. Great job Mo! |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Well Becca, Thanks for the input. I think I know where I am going to take the next chapter. Your suggestion helped out a little bit. You know it sometimes is hard to piece each section together. I am seeing that it is going to get harder as this story gets longer. Man do I have my work cut out for me... J |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
LOL Keep truckin! If you're involved in the story as you write it, it should kind of flow ya know? Almost write itself. Let me know when the next chapter is out k?  |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
you got it dove j~ |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Am I too late for the show??? Oops... Those darned vacations get in the way every time... .... Hey, jfreak - you're spinning quite a tale here - who is this cretin anyway?? What's the connection?? More..More..More....  |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Nan, The cretin is the "mystery man" from Little Red Shoe. It just kind of gives him a name while keeping him a mystery. Suspenseful you know. I have begun the next chapter in this saga, but had to put it on hold till next week. So within the next couple of weeks I should have it done and posted. Will let you know. J~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
jfreak~~~i am off to finish the last part of this stroy...i am amazed...it is very good so far... ~IF YOU WANT SOMETHING VERY BADLY~SET IT FREE~IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU~ITS YOURS FOREVER~IF IT DOESNT IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH~ |
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