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*On the Wings of the Night*
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*On the Wings of the Night* |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN 
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Well.. this isn't the answer to my own challenge.. yet but here it is, comments and critiques and "HEY THAT SUCKS!" appreciated, LOL And I'd like to give proper credit to Pink Floyd for the title, it being a lyric from "On the Turning Away" Silvered moonbeams fell onto the lush lawn of the clearing as tinkling notes rose from the cascade of water at the head of the meadow to weave an aquatic melody into the cool night air. The trees that at times took up the mantle of terrifying sentinels did no such thing upon this night. This night they huddled around the moonlight clearing protectively, motherly, wrapping the meadow in a robe of silence and pale-green stars. Those solemn walls lead up to the heavy violet of the night sky. Tiny pinpricks of quicksilver seeped through the roof of the night to trickle upon the clearing, a quiet sheen that flowed across the meadow. Within the jeweled dew of the lawn a tattered form lay outstretched on the banks of the stream. His breath came in ragged sobs, discordant rasps tearing at the night. His eyes burning crimson, harsh from years of weeping and pain. Small trickles of blood still clung to scarred skin and one broken hand had fallen into the cool waters of the stream, the crystal surface mired by silt and pale tendrils of blood. The broken man laboriously levered his body onto his back. Fiery lances of pain arced through his nerves and blazing slashes of agony seared upon his vision. His raspy breathing increased and thin moans could be heard between them. As the flames died down the man forced his reddened eyes opened and looked on the dark heavens. The shimmering diamond veil above was lost behind the haze of the man’s eyes, ebony was all his pain dulled sight could decipher. His eyes slid shut slowly, and then wearily opened again. The ebony above was pierced by a thin, bright light that held him as surely as bonds of steel. He watched in rapt fascination as the tiny point moved from stationary, to faint motion, to streaking speed. It plummeted earthwards and like his hopes, disappeared. Leadenly, the man’s eyes fell closed and a shuddering sob tore from his lungs. The shadows began to grow within the clearing, stealing over the dewy lawn and enswathing the silent trees. The pressure built upon the fragile being building to the shattering point as shadows cluttered around, cloaking the man in despair. The pressure began to ease and the man ventured to open his eyes and was confronted with a looming alabaster shape that filled his vision. Starting back with fear the man made to scramble away. A gentle shushing sound came from the form and the man felt a warm touch on his forehead. He felt the warmth flow through his body, easing pain, relieving weariness and finally dropping the hazy veil from his sight. That veil dropped and two eyes of lush green shone upon a face that was shining with a brilliant smile. He smiled back dazedly causing the woman’s smile to become broader and she stood to her full height. The man’s smile winked out as the graceful wings stretched out into the dark heavens. Fear flashed through his eyes and then his head dropped and his vision moved to anything but the angel before him. The angel began to giggle musically, a silver chime, and she placed her fingers under his chin and lifted his eyes to hers. “You know me, dear one. Remember.” As he looked into those green orbs he was drawn into a maelstrom of memories, seen as the spiraled swiftly by. Warm summer days bathed in golden rays could be seen and a giggling couple played in the grass, tickling and laughing. They lay on their backs and watched the clouds float by on cool summer zephyrs. They danced in the rain and cuddled by a fire. And then they were gone and the eyes again filled his vision. She moved quickly and kissed him teasingly and whispered in his ear: “Follow me…” And with a golden laugh she leapt into the air on seraphim pinions and the man was but a heartbeat behind. A shared joy filled their hearts as they flew straight into the rising sun. Abrahm Simons "In a moment lies eternity And in a kiss resides forever" - Krista Knutson my bestest friend! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
AWESOME use of imagery. I mean it was like I could feel this man's pain before he died. I could see exactly what he was seeing. It was just awesome. Job well done. JFreak |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Beautiful. Just beautiful...I can't think of anything better to say! I loved it.  |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Hey NINJA! That was awesome story! Now why did you want us to say that sucked?? I don't know because it didn't. and I'm not even gonna ask who the angel is... lol. See yah later, nice story! "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying." Harry Anderson, "Night Court" *Cassandra Roseen* |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Absolutely gorgeous my dear...I stand in awe of you. Supurb imagery...I could definitely see the man wrenching in pain and that beautiful angel....with the "lush green" eyes, eh? Is this angel who I think it might be? LOL...you and your thinking I have an angel's voice...crazy boy you are. Anyways, absolutely beautiful work sweetheart.  *Krista Knutson* "Thought is real, physical is the illusion..." Albert from ~What Dreams May Come~ |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Abe, your story left me in total awe and your use of words is supurb ! I really love this ! |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Thank you all for replying! jfreak - Why thank you much, sir. I'm glad you liked it and thank you for the compliments on the imagery! Poet DeVine - Well this be a first! Thank you, oh DeVine one, it is appreciated! Cassie - Thank you for replying Cassie, I'm glad you like it! Ya know who the angel is? Not too hard to deduce the broken man then. Krista - Well, there be the angel now Thank you for compliments, dearie. You've healed this broken soul many times, will you come fly with me?Munda - Why thank you Munda! I really appreciate it! Abrahm Simons "In a moment lies eternity And in a kiss resides forever" - Krista Knutson my bestest friend! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Abe, I absolutely LOVE the idea of this. You did paint a beautiful picture (ok, well not all beautiful) with your words. I'm not going to ream this one like I did your lasty. Basically, because I can't. This was exceedingly well portrayed and put across. With one exception of course, (because you can never makeme happy...ROFL) I disagree with jfreak on your use of imagery. I felt right away like you were trying to force me to feel the man's pain instead of allowing me to fall into it myself. Now this may just be my opinion and one shared by no others, but s'what ya' get m'man! LOL. Perhaps you'd be interested in checking this following thread out. Again Abe, awesome! Imagery |
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Ruby dagger Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76Wyoming, MN, U.S.A |
Oh my, this imagery is sooo good!!! I love the story. Even if it's about you a Krista  great job. Heather says it's dude.Luv Kelly "If we Shadows have offened, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber'd here, While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yeilding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend; If you pardon, we will mend. And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to scape the serpent's toungue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call: So good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends." -William Shakespeare A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act V,1 |
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