»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
The Beginning (part 1 of a new story)
| Passions in Prose |
|
The Beginning (part 1 of a new story) |
|
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
THE LETTER Connie squirmed in her seat. This was the longest bus ride since she ran away from home as a teenager six years ago. She hated Greyhound buses. The intimate strangeness of it. The seats holding people she would never see again and never care about. She smoothed the dress across her breasts. Odd! She never wore dresses and didn’t own one until a couple of days ago. This one, a pink-flowered dress, was old fashioned in it’s simplicity. She bought at a second hand store down the street from her apartment. The letter said to dress modestly! Ha! Imagine that. Someone wanted to see here with her clothes on for a change. Up until three days ago, Connie Spencer had been a pole dancer in a topless club. One of a throng of young wannabe’s that had no skills to boast of but the bump of her hips and the grind of her ass. It was a living. Something to pay the rent and to keep her private investigator paid. Sometimes, to her shame, Connie took a ‘special’. A private quick party in a customer’s car, just to make some extra money. She didn’t do drugs or drink. Didn’t buy herself clothes or jewelry. All of Connie’s extra money paid for a rundown private detective that promised he’d find her five-year-old daughter. The rhythm of the bus against the pavement lulled Connie into a semi-sleep. She never fully slept. Hadn’t since that day two years ago when she had returned to her parents home and found them gone, taking her daughter Casey with them. Connie, sixteen and pregnant, left home after her parents found out she and the neighbor’s son had been fooling around in the basement after school. Good God-fearing folk, they had shamed her into running away. Connie slept on the street until the baby was born, then a girl in a bed in the same ward, invited them to live with her. The nurse at the hospital counseled Connie to give up the newborn, but one look at her daughter’s angelic face and Connie knew she would move heaven and earth to keep her. Things had been hard for them. Connie worked at McDonald’s during the day and at night, she waited tables at the ‘ZanziBar Topless Club’. The long hours and lack of real food, gave her a shape that eventually caught the eye of the club manager who offered her more money to dance than to wait tables. And the promise of more money in tips was too much to pass up. Connie’s roommate taught her what to do and thus, the pole dancer was born. She quit the day job so she could spend time with Casey and things seemed to be getting better. One day, without warning, her parents showed up at her apartment. They told her they wanted to make things good between them, wanted to help her, wanted to have their granddaughter in their life. Her mother cried. Her father blustered. And Connie gave in. Her parents stayed in a local Motel 6 while they tried to find a permanent place to live. They eagerly offered to watch Casey while Connie worked. It seemed like a wonderful arrangement. Two months passed and still her parents lived at the motel. Then one day, they asked if they could take the two-year-old to Disneyland for the day. They offered to keep Casey overnight, go to Disneyland and Connie could pick her up after work. It would only be 24 hours. Connie reluctantly agreed since Casey loved her grandparents and the attention they lavished on her. They bought her a doll and a truck and some new clothes and she always seemed contented and happy when Connie picked her up every morning at 6 a.m. But that morning, when Connie walked up to the door of her parent’s motel room she knew something was wrong. The maid was in the room cleaning it. The bed was made, there were no suitcases sitting on the floor. Connie questioned the woman who said she was new, had only worked a few days and had never seen anyone in this room. The manager, found beside the pool, told Connie her parents had checked out a few minutes after Connie dropped off the baby over 24 hours ago. Connie tried to call her parents’ in Texas but the phone was disconnected. She called a neighbor and told them she was from the First National Bank in town wanted to check on the phone line as she wasn’t able to reach Mr. and Mrs. Spencer. The neighbor told her Mr. and Mrs. Spencer had moved about a year ago. No one knew where they had gone. Connie called the police. But they treated her like an annoyance. They said they would keep an eye out for her parents, but “maybe her kid was better off with them”. Connie took three days off work, sick most of the time and drove the streets of LA in a borrowed car. Frantic and scared, she finally decided to hire a private detective. The first one she talked to wanted her to be his secretary, giving him and his clients sexual favors to pay for his fee. She turned him down. The second one was older than both her parents put together and she was afraid if she hired him, he’d die on the job and she’d somehow get stuck with the bill to bury him. The third, an oriental man in his forties, said he’d find Casey, “no matter what!” And he had worked hard. Taking what little money Connie could afford to give him. Sometimes, a lead would develop and Connie would have to do one of her ‘specials’ just to pay for something extra Mr. Chang needed. She always came through. And he always failed. And then, three days ago, she got the letter. It was addressed to her in a strong bold script. Not Mr. Chang’s precise typewritten envelope as she suspected it was from him. It was in her mailbox when she came home from work at 5 o’clock Sunday morning. After a shower and a cold cheese sandwich, Connie sat down on her bed to read it. “Miss Spencer” the letter began: “You are being given the opportunity to make a difference in the world. A difference so enormous that it will bring you great wealth and power.” At this point, Connie almost crumpled the letter, thinking it was just another get rich quick scheme. But she continued to read: “Your daughter, Casey, will be so proud of you. We will guarantee that she be returned to you if you accept our offer of this job. You will not be sorry! Tomorrow, you will receive $500 cash. Please purchase a bus ticket to Beatty, Nevada. Someone will meet you and drive you to your final destination in Rhyolite, Nevada. When you arrive, you will get further instructions. Please dress modestly, a nice cotton summer dress would preferable. It will be best if you arrive in Rhyolite by noon on August 15.” Connie looked for a signature, but there was none. She laughed and tossed the letter into the wastebasket. She lay down and fell into a semi-sleep. One half of her brain was constantly alert in case her parents or Mr. Chang called. In the afternoon when she got up, Connie sat on the side of the bed trying to get her bearings. The letter lay just on the rim of the wastebasket, taunting her. She bent over and smoothed it out. For three years, she had taken pinned her hopes on every slim chance Mr. Chang offered her. Now, in her hand, she had another promise that her daughter would be returned to her. If she took this chance, she would have to take time away from work. She knew her boss would make her pay when she returned. But, with the letter in her hand, she knew she would take any chance, however slight to find her daughter. She showered, dressed in her usual jeans and tee shirt and ran down the steps of her apartment building. The mail had been delivered and inside her box was an identical envelope. She tore it open and found 10 fifty-dollar bills. For some reason, Connie started to cry. This, more than anything, gave her hope. She spent the afternoon buying her bus ticket to Beatty and scouring the second hand stores for a suitable dress. Later, when she told her boss Larry, that she needed a few days off, he had agreed quickly telling her she looked tired and should get some sleep. It was all so easy! The next day she boarded the bus for Nevada hoping to find a way to get Casey back. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
angelsamongus Member
since 2000-05-27
Posts 70New York |
PDV, I am eagerly waiting to read on..  I love it so far! ~Lori |
||
|
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Oooo! Way to start a story, Sharon! Piqued my curiosity right off the bat. I'm looking forward to seeing more!  |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
This has the perfect beginning for a mystery novel Sharon. You presented the "conflict" and "action" immediately and at the same time developed several unanswered questions. I am definitely awaiting some of those answers!!! |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
yes, you draw the reader in I love it can't wait to read more Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a wonderful beginning, my friend. I hope I find part 2 waiting for me when I get back from DC! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
And even now, the next day, I'm still trying to figure out some of these questions! |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
well, you know Im smiling right??? I knew this would leave me begging for more even before i read it.. please dont leave me on my knees too long my queen of prose *smile* excellent girl!! more more more later-prose-gator jm |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
A truly great beginning of a story. Enjoyed it much Sharon. |
||
|
Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow. Okay, where is it? I have to know the next part. This is sooooooo good. ~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood" |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
You've got my attention Sharon... this is GREAT! waiting for the rest now. Je t'aime plus qu'hier et moins que demain." I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow (unkown) |
||
|
jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Hey Devine, I just wanted to say that you are doing a great job so far with this story. The first chapter just sucked me in. Looking forward to the next chapter of the story. Keep em coming. JFreak |
||
|
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
PD wow this was an awesome first chapter. i cant wait to read the next part. you had me hanging on the end of my seat from beginning to the point we are now. will be looking for part two. take care and great work!! amy "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." "Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there It's up to you to make it happen." |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
What a great story Sharon...I wasn't even aware I was reading...a good sign..and then you left me hanging and wanting to know what happens...Very well done!! |
||
|
Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
I liked the way you started with Connie on the bus, you don't know why she's on the bus. Then the storyshows you how she got on the bus, from several years to go until she gets the letter. The story ends with her back in 'the present' and with the background I eagerly wait to see what is going to happen next. Tim |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
