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Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA

0 posted 2000-06-01 01:16 AM



As I drove deep into the night, listening to Bonnie Tyler sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart", rich
night smells surrounded me.  A strong scent of pine trees and dark, earthy soil came up and filled my lungs.  Yellow eyes reflected at me from the depths of the forest, as my car lights met the orbs of animal eyes venturing out for a feast.  The air was several degrees cooler than it had been.  It was late April or early May.  There was no place I'd rather have been than driving into the night...free, mysterious, young and detached...detached from all that was going on around me in the world.  Only the music and the night breeze and the exotic smells existed for me at that moment, and it seemed like I would go on forever, never stopping, never meeting the first light of another day.  It felt as if the darkness was surrounding me, like a blanket, pulling me further and further into its' depths and I might never want to return.  

At this point, the baby began to cry... faintly at first, but with increasing urgency and volume.  I
stopped the car and got out to walk around and open the door to the back of the van.  As I circled
around, I felt a strong desire to turn away from the van, and into the velvet darkness of the forest
right there at the edge of the road - so close that I could reach out my hand and caress it.  I felt
drawn to it, pulled, sucked in...and for a few minutes, time stopped and I stood there mesmerized
by the wild lure of the Angelina woods. But, of course, the baby continued to cry and I suppose
maternal instincts brought me back from the edge.  I turned back to the van, opened the sliding
door, and struggled to undo the car seat that safeguarded my youngest son.  I fed him and
changed his diaper, then stood with him at the edge of the forest, while he drifted back to sleep. I
softly sang along with Bonnie Tyler..." I want to knowohoh, have you ever seen the rain, coming
down on a sunny dayyy..."  

Eventually, we both returned to the van.  I snapped the seat belt across my baby, and peeked into
the furthest back seat.  There my other son and my daughter were sleeping, entangled in the
afghan that they shared.  They were unaware of the wildness that stirred the night air around them, innocent of the dark feelings of abandon that reverberated through my soul.  I backed out
of the van, pulled the door closed, and stopped at the edge of the road, peering into the forest one
more time.  I don't know how long I stood there...on the brink.  Finally, though, I turned back to the van, pulled myself up into the seat, put the car in drive, and pulled slowly away...
driving...savoring the smells...savoring the "sense" of freedom that accompanied the sensations of hurling headlong into the night, feeling at one with the soul-hungry wailing of Bonnie Tyler...detached from the immediate world.  I could have driven all night long and then some...

When we arrived home, the four of us, I ushered my sleepy children into the house, into their
beds, kissing them each as I said goodnight.  I stayed up for hours, sitting and smoking one
cigarette after another on the back porch steps...peering into the darkness of the field behind me,listening to the sounds of a country night.  The forest was still close by, but less wild, and lined with footpaths and clearings for campers.  The outline of trees became more apparent as the first rays of dawn slipped over the horizon.  The night was over and there was a new day to face.


© Copyright 2000 Jana Tovey - All Rights Reserved
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
1 posted 2000-06-01 04:46 PM


Jana~

That was a wonderful story.  There is nothing more special than the night.  It invites us to see a whole new side of nature, one that only comes into existance during the late hours in the darkness..

 "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying."
Harry Anderson, "Night Court"

*Cassandra Roseen*

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-06-01 07:52 PM


Jana,
I really enjoyed and related to this story.
I like the way your write and describe your emotions. Great visual imagery as well.
Many nites when I feel the walls closing in I go for a late drive, with a favorite stack of cds. There is something so calming and
relaxing about the night wind in our hair and the music filling up the nite's dark quiet.
That is what I really read  into this...
a woman looking out into the night for something missing...or perhaps just the
feeling of freedom that comes with the night...
Ive been(still am) that woman on the porch ...
great writing, welcome to Passions...
thanks for your insightful comments on my prose...you nailed the question.
Take care, jm

 There are places inside our souls ...
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts ...
that need to be loved this much.
~Janet Marie~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


lorilockheart
Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206
Alabama
3 posted 2000-06-01 08:54 PM


Jana,
I really enjoyed this.  Your imagery and strong use of words really shows the urgency and yearning that comes from a hectic life, one with many responsibilities and little time for oneself.  I understand that, and related to the need you described to just go away, off on an adventure, or just to get some time alone.  Looking forward to another one.
Lori

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance.
song by LeeAnn Womack
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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