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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-05-22 04:34 AM


Aside from this being partially out of the realms of my normal genre of writing, this piece is also turning out much longer than originally anticipated. So, following the lead of the Saturday Night serials, I'll post this one piecemeal.  

And like any good producer, I want to make sure I have plenty of "script" written before I release the next piece, so there will probably be several days to a week in between posts. If you like it, you can read the following "installments" which will be labeled by a corresponding "Part #."

Thank you for your patience.

Chris

P.S. - I'd like to thank Michael for Kristalyn's name (although I butchered his spelling), Nicole & Kess for their editorial comments and Steven R. Donaldson for the inspiration.


Dream-State


“The pleasure of the true dreamer does not lie in the substance of the dream, but in this: that there things happen without any interference from his side, and altogether outside his control.”

-Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa



The old man walked the crooked path out of the jungle foliage, carefully picking his way through the debris strewn across the rocky sandbar before him. His face below the full brim cap he was wearing bore a strong resemblance to the ground he was walking. Years of upheavals and expectations jutted from the shadowy recesses of his profile, with grey hair wafting out in spirals from miscellaneous wrinkles. His expression was one of intense concentration, though his attention appeared to be focused on something other than the ground beneath his feet.


His head was tilted at a slight angle, as if he were listening to something which was far away and hard to hear. Suddenly his head straightened and he began to hurry his pace. As he made his way across the small clearing, his destination came into view around an outcropping of the rock which surrounded the area. Before him, an unlikely hill placed in what seemed to be the exact center of the clearing appeared. On the face a little to the left of him was a small cave opening, black and ominous.


While he approached the entrance, he noted the wind stirring up the black sand beneath his feet. He paused before the hill and with a slow, lazy motion bent down to run his fingers through the silken layers of refined mineral and animal remains. A sardonic smile briefly crossed his face before he turned his attention back to the black opening which seemed to have a grip on him. A quick, nervous glance around showed him to be alone, so he lumbered up to the opening and stepped from the world of light into the world of darkness.


A loud rumble issued from the blank mouth of the cave and welled out across the rocky ground for fifty meters. It subsided almost immediately and the dirt and sand settled back to their ageless sleep underneath the blanket of warmth from the sun. An hour passed as the light gradually turned from a bright yellow to a pale shade of orange. Eventually, it finally faded away, leaving the area cloaked in the cobalt tones which herald a nighttime in the wilds.


Another rumble, this time much smaller, hissed out, stirring the interest of a nearby jaguar prowling in the darkness. It slowly walked toward the mouth of the cave, interested and hungry. As it was sniffing at the man’s trail near the opening, a hand suddenly reached, grabbing the right forepaw of the surprised animal. It lurched backward with a cry that was cut-off midway through as it fell to the ground. Dead.


The bone white hand gripped tightly on the limp cat’s foot and tugged slowly, bringing it in.


*****


“Jarris!”


The dark young man turned suddenly at the sound of his name.


His face held the expression ever borne by those caught in the middle of something, that while not really immoral, was nonetheless something they shouldn’t be doing. He tucked his hands quickly into his pockets and faced the direction from which the call had come. After a brief moment of thought, he began to hurry that way in the hopes he wouldn’t be discovered.


He deliberately made his way through the jungle trees in a zig-zag pattern, careful not to disturb the foliage underneath- thereby leaving a trail back to his private place. After a few hundred yards and several repeats of the call, he felt it safe to respond.


“Over here Kristalyn,” he yelled out, hoping to sound like he’d just heard her voice. In sudden inspiration, he stopped and sat down with his back to the nearest tree. With quick motions, he threw his hat on the ground and mussed his dirty-blonde hair into an unruly mess.


Kris must have been right on his heels because almost immediately he saw her break through the ever present penumbra which always surrounds such a dense collection of trees. She stomped to a halt a foot away from him, her face bordering between an outburst of anger and frustration.


“Where the hell have you been?”


Jarris effected an innocent look and arched his eyebrow at her. “What do you mean,” he asked in a non-committal tone.


Kris opened her mouth to reply then immediately shut it with a loud click. The muscles at the sides of her jaw pulsated, matching the rhythm of her heartbeat. He almost laughed at the deep flush of red in her cheeks. He knew she hated not knowing... everything, all the time. The two of them had been at odds since he’d first arrived on Can-Chilupo. Laughing quietly to himself, he remembered that she was one of the reasons he’d accepted this position.


One of the reasons.


The rest revolved around the incredibly rare opportunity to explore a previously undiscovered site. Almost all archeological work these days was done through haphazard guesswork. Not because the scientists didn’t know how to interpret information, but rather because there was little unsullied information left to be found. The most common scenario involved digs which had been tainted either by previous generations or by the very people who happened upon it. Since the artifacts often sold for outrageously high prices, most people didn’t concern themselves with the historical value of the areas.


His past relationship with the dominating personality of the project head, Kristalyn Chabot, was only icing on the proverbial cake.


Feigning a timid cough, Jarris rose to retrieve the recently discarded hat, then stood to face Kris. He knew she hated having to look up at his face towering over her. That of course was one of the main purposes behind doing it as often as he did. She was all of five-foot two inches tall and carried that grievance with her into the rest of her life. She felt as if she’d been cheated somehow, having such a strong personality without the physical presence to represent it. Jarris had once tried to explain to her that mere size had nothing to do with the actual presence she portrayed to others, but had never been able to convince her.


He almost sighed at the thought of days gone by when she’d been a little less over-bearing and a bit more human. But those days were long since buried and now he had to content himself with badgering her as much as possible. Both knew the other did such things on purpose, knew it was a game. Yet neither was willing to back down. Jarris admitted to himself that at the root, it all revolved around issues of pride, though he doubted she would ever admit that to herself... much less to him.


“You wanted something,” Jarris prompted her with a lopsided grin as she unconsciously backed up a few paces.


“Um,” she stumbled for a moment, obviously lost in her own reminiscence.


Without a second thought, Jarris reached out and took her hands in his.


“Look Kris,” he all but whispered, gripping her eyes with his. “Why don’t we quit playing this whole game? Why don’t we stop harassing each other and try to be real for just a moment.” He thought of a million other things he wanted to say, but the icy glaze which suddenly covered her eyes prevented them from reaching his lips.


With a violent jerk, she pulled her hands out of his and placed them on her hips, her eyes boring into him with an expression that could be interpreted as no other than hatred. She opened her mouth to speak, but Jarris just turned away.


“Whatever Kris, whatever.”


Kristalyn’s face softened a bit and she placed a hand on Jarris’ arm.


“Look Jarr,” she said softly, warmly. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such a *****. It’s just that this whole place has my skin crawling. I can feel the answers hidden here somewhere. I know ‘it’ is out there. She gestured to the surrounding jungle trees with an expansive gesture. “Somewhere out there are the answers to who came before us. To what came before us. Just think of all the inexplicable occurrences we can solve if we come across the right information. But to do that Jarris, we have to be a team! We have to have everyone working together on this.


“Now I know you prefer to be the lone wolf, the glory hound. But as long as I’m project head on this one, you have to follow my rules. If you want to go play arch-jockey somewhere else, that’s fine by me. But as long as you want to be part of this team, you have to play my game.”


Jarris sighed then opened his mouth to say something. He closed his mouth, then opened it again. Eventually he settled on a small smile. Kris smiled back at him and nodded slightly.


“There’s a good boy Jarris,” she laughed slapping him on the shoulder. “I knew you could do it. Come on now, I have something I want to show you.”


Jarris sighed one more time and followed Kristalyn’s retreating form into the green jungle.

*****


[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 05-22-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
1 posted 2000-05-22 07:01 AM


Ya big tease!! This is like picking up a book, getting lost in it, and then.....the dog eats your only copy  
I understand from reading this why you needed to devote your time to this rather than poetry, I love your poetry....but this shows where your passion lays.  


 The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams

~Eleanor Roosevelt~

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
2 posted 2000-05-22 05:40 PM


grrr...I missed a spot:

"“Look Jarr,” she said softly, warmly. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such a *****. It’s just that this whole place has my skin crawling. I can feel the answers hidden here somewhere. I know ‘it’ is out there. She gestured to the surrounding jungle trees with an expansive gesture. “Somewhere out there are the answers to who came before us. To what came before us. Just think of all the inexplicable occurrences we can solve if we come across the right information. But to do that Jarris, we have to be a team! We have to have everyone working together on this. "

You know though, I've spent so much time nit-picking, that I really would like to tell you what it is I like about your story.  (um everything?  lol)

I think it's great that you're expanding beyond your normal scope of writing material and ideas.  Although, I do not find it surprising at all that you pick it up with the greatest of ease.  Something I also enjoy, is how you've presented Jarris and Kristalyn.  You write them in such a way that endears them to the reader, and that's a good thing for the main characters.  

So far, I think this is my favorite descriptive paragraph (I've bolded the reason why...that m'dear friend, is what writing is all about):

The old man walked the crooked path out of the jungle foliage, carefully picking his way through the debris strewn across the rocky sandbar before him. His face below the full brim cap he was wearing bore a strong resemblance to the ground he was walking. Years of upheavals and expectations jutted from the shadowy recesses of his profile, with grey hair wafting out in spirals from miscellaneous wrinkles. His expression was one of intense concentration, though his attention appeared to be focused on something other than the ground beneath his feet.

Wow.

Way ta keep us all hangin' Chris, sheesh!


~Nic

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-05-22 10:10 PM


WAY TO GO Chris...always leave us wanting more... and of this ... we DO.
excellent writing...you literally immerse the
reader in your story.
amazing and perfect imagery and a very cool setting for a story.
BEST of all the chemistry you are setting up between the 2 characters...
MORE PLEASE  
take care, jm

 Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme,
They are not measured by the commitment of time.
Some emotions run too deep to be described by words,
Forgiveness and understanding-remain the most beautiful words ever heard.
~Janet Marie~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~



Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
4 posted 2000-05-22 11:54 PM


FINALLY  

How long have I been waiting for a new story from you?  Let me count the months... Life Storms was great but you've left me with a hunger for MORE...

And you don't disappoint.. I'm interested already, the characters are already lifelike and vivid... And I enjoyed the X-filesque introduction, paranormal disturbance at the Jungle cave. LOL.  

Do I really have to wait a whole week for more?

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

5 posted 2000-05-23 01:24 AM


Well...cool so far...this has all the hallmarks of a great story C. Intriguing plot, complex characters, excellent scene setting. Me like!

(And yes I WILL finish the comments...   I wouldn't let you off so lightly as to only do a teeny bit...)

  K

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 05-23-2000).]

Ruby dagger
Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76
Wyoming, MN, U.S.A
6 posted 2000-05-24 04:54 PM


GRRRRRR! This is a good story, and you're gonna make us wait for more. You're taking pleasure in making people want more, aren't you? You wouldn't be the first person who does.   Now, write more!

 Luv

Kelly

"Everyone has to grow old, but it's a choice to grow up" -Vernon Lee-


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-05-30 08:16 AM


this needs to go back up so anyone who missed it can read it with part 2...
me says so  

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
8 posted 2000-06-03 11:34 AM


Making it easier to read the 3 parts!
Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA
9 posted 2000-06-03 11:46 AM


A quick comment, before I go on to read the rest.  Good story!
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