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Passions in Prose
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Ardonida
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 76


0 posted 2000-05-20 02:39 PM


Looking up at the pale moon's beams, fealing myself being lifted like a spirit from once upon a long ago.
I stretch out my arms, eager to embrace the enchanting beauty of her smile.
But alas, I was interupted by the screetching harshness of reality.

I would rather make a wish upon a long lost beam of the moon. I would rather look into the shining eyes of the stars.

And at the same time, I would hold onto the comforting hand of scary-tale reality.
It's called balance.
A.


© Copyright 2000 Ardonida - All Rights Reserved
WolfsMate
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121
New York
1 posted 2000-05-20 07:59 PM


Good job. You are improving!! Still a few spelling error's but better. Prose is supposed to be more of a story. A short story if you will. As to your spelling, maybe a soell checker??? It's not my strong point either   Hope to see more!!

 "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near"

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
2 posted 2000-05-21 01:52 PM


I agree with WolfsMate, improvement is visible!  My comment is that though this is prose by definition, I bet you could flesh this out and add detail to this to give the reader a better picture.  Keep writing, you're going in the right direction  

 Abrahm Simons

"A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night" - Pink Floyd, "Learning To Fly"

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