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Soul Mates.- Christopher's challenge.
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Soul Mates.- Christopher's challenge. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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Soul Mates. dedicated to Roisin and Al, my soul mates who made their friendship the most influential time in my life. I am sitting here alone; just I did when I was younger. I can just see that clear blue sky and fresh summer air, and the two of us, Ro and I, lazing in the park chatting about life and just enjoying the weather, the atmosphere. It is hard to believe that was almost a year ago when it burns so freshly in my mind that it feels like yesterday. It is one of my most precious memories. It was the last day we spent together before she left. I never believed in soul mates, I never thought that anyone would be able to connect with me so strongly. I was used to being alone, with only myself as company. I had friends, sure, people who shared common interests but no one I dared to talk to on a personal level, no one to open up to and show my true nature to. All that changed when I moved out of home. I was 17 and had just finished my final exams in school, when I was accepted into a small art college in Dublin. My sister had found accommodation for me close to the college. This was the first time that I would be living away from home. I was both excited and nervous, but I felt some comfort in the fact that my brother was also living in the same city as me and was just a bus journey away. In the first week I slowly began to settle into college life, and define myself as a person. I made friends quickly and began to enjoy my first taste of independence. There were about five girls in the class, though I really did not connect with any of them except one. Her name was Roisin (Ro). She stood out mainly because she was the oldest in the class, she was in her early 20s, but she also had a presence, a warmth but still seemed distant. I guess at the start she saw us as a bunch of kids tasting life for the first time, trying to find ourselves. Either way this is how I felt in her company, at the start anyway. As the months progressed we grew closer together. She had to travel into town everyday after college to take a bus home. She had to travel about two hours to and from college everyday. For some bizarre reason my landlady refused to give me a key to the house where I lived with her family and she used to work until 5.30 in the evenings. With college finished at about 3, I was grateful when Ro invited me to town with her. She showed me around the city and took me into all the second hand student shops. We grew closer as friends, and I began to grow in confidence I started to open up to her and share personal information. Even though we had known each other for just a few months I felt as ease with her. I had always connected easier with women, perhaps this is a generalisation but with women there is no sense of acting "tough" and "brave", no false bravo that most teenage boys seem to have. I never bought into that façade. Ro was also friends with Al, who was also in my class. Al was almost the polar opposite of me. He was loud and pushy, I was quiet and meek. All my traits seem to move in the other direction than his. At the start it was through Roisin that we became friends, but I still felt more comfortable with Ro. Summer break arrived, and it was time to go home for three months. I returned home inside I had changed. All my doubts, my anger and bitterness seemed quieter now. I felt like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Where once there was noise and chaos there was now clearly defined shapes and forms. My personality was now solid more balanced. When I returned to college to finish off my final year, there was to another change. Ro had spent her summer in camp in the US as a counsellor. On the bus journey into town Ro was telling me about the experience. She kept hinting at something, but I did not push for answers. I knew that she would tell me if she felt I needed to know. As we got off the bus she suggested that we go to this quiet little café for a chat, this was something we had never done before. I knew something was up. We sat down in the same Café. It was quiet in the cafe and we stuck out like a sore thumb. Everyone around us was at least fifty and about a third of the people were nuns. We sat down, and I prepared myself for the news. "I have met someone, " she said. I stayed silence, I guess my immediate reaction was jealously. I never had any romantic thoughts about Ro. It is just that our friendship was so precious to me that I did not want anyone to come between us. "and it is a girl," she finished the sentence. She waited for a reply, the news was slowly registering. I responded the only way I knew how to, with humour "well I guess there is no need for me then." We chatted at length about it. It seems that both of us were finding ourselves, I was discovering my identity and Ro was finally allowing a part of herself that she had kept silent for so long to surface. I realised that this was hard for Ro, not know how I would react. As close as we were the fact that she had decided to share this with me put our whole friendship into perspective, and I realised how close we were. As the months past it became clear that she was certain that it was true love, and that she wanted to move in with her girlfriend who lived on the other side of the world. It took some time for all this to register. I began to realise how little time we had together and Ro, Al and myself grew closer. We became inseparable, and I spent more time with them than I did with my other classmates. There was something between us that was intangible, a feeling, a sense of empowerment. It lifted my spirits. We existed in a world of our own. I no longer lived alone. I had two other souls to share my world with. I still find it hard to believe that such a thing exists, it is what I guess true love is like. This was not friendship, it was a platonic love. I guess we were soul mates. I am sitting here alone. My teenager years behind me I am an adult, 20 years old, the shadows of my youth and the sense of alienation are no more. Even as I sit typing this in a room on my own I can feel Ro at my side, not a day goes by that I don't think about her out there on the other side of the world. So far away yet she is always close at hand. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Brian, this is a wonderful story. I too have a platonic soulmate of the opposite sex. It's a marvelous relationship! You did a great job writing this...  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Platonic love, is that possible??? This question and my belief that it is so, reminds me of a period in life about a year and half back. Nicely written. Regards, Sudhir Life is like a painting, That in an art gallery is left hanging, Though many come just to look at it, A very few actually come to enjoy it. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Thanks guys, prose is not really my thing so this was more of a "dear diary" piece, Poet deVine I know soulmates are wonderful. I never though I could be so close to people like i am with my two soul mates. Sudhir, platonic love is great but that is all I seem to get. It never seems to go beyond that, maybe God is telling me something, perhaps I took a vow of celibacy without knowing it. lol. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
"I returned home inside I had changed. All my doubts, my anger and bitterness seemed quieter now. I felt like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Where once there was noise and chaos there was now clearly defined shapes and forms. My personality was now solid more balanced." -------------------- yes there is such a thing as platonic love and yes, each of us have a kindred spirit, a soulmate. And if we are indeed fortunate enough to find them, they change us forever. Your writing awes me...your mind awes me... your grace awes me. the piece of prose left in my mailbox awes me it is I who wishes to be the student, age is irrelevant in reference to talent and gifts to be learned. later poetic prince jm |
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
A wonderful story! "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I too have a soul-mate of the opposite sex. She and I can be apart for a couple of years then pick up like we never missed a day. There's times when she's not near that I miss her, but she's always in my heart and as you said, I can feel her by my side. Thank you for your contribution, you've written your feelings well. Chris |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
This is a wonderful story about not just soul mates, but true friendship in the purest form --) Loved it, Brian! Fine writing here. netswan |
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