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The Comfort of Tea"...first post and challenge, concurrently

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Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


0 posted 05-17-2000 11:54 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse


"The Comfort of Tea"  


   There was a shabbiness about the man that made me comfortable. In my comfort, I noticed things.

   It was not that he was unkempt. No, far from that. In fact, his eyes were the cleanest, brightest green that I could recall ever seeing on a human face. His hair, likely combed earlier in the day, now rested, rather scrambled, in small, soft folds upon his head. It was nearly golden, the colour of molten sorghum dripping, hot, down the long cooking trays of my father's mill.

   I was still noticing his molasses hair when I realized that his eyes were searching my face, his hand extended in greeting.

   "Claire?" he asked, more by way of saying hello than identifying me.

   "Yes, hello Michael. We spoke on the phone, didn't we?" Of course, I knew that he knew that we had spoken, just that morning in fact, but what was one to say?

   "Come in. Please, just ~ here, let me take those from you." And I was in his house, following him through the coolness into the large dining room. He walked slowly, talking, one arm cradling the maps that I had brought. A radio played somewhere, and I noticed the jingling sound of jazz tinkering through the open kitchen doorway. Piano in the early afternoon. This was a man I could get to like, I remember thinking.

   "I've just put a kettle on, if you'd like, " he was saying. Funny how his voice sounded softer now, like Keith Jarrett's improv from the kitchen. Musical, light, English.

   "Oh. Tea. I really can't." I noticed the immediate crook in his brow, just a moment's sleight, then gone.

   "I've got an appointment. Another appointment, actually." I knew I was expected at a meeting shortly, though the exact details were not ready in my mind.

   I  noticed his hands, fingers still spread lightly on the tabletop. I wondered whether his hands were responsible for the large clay pots that stood near the wall by the hearth.
  
   "Well, perhaps another time," he said, gesturing with those hands back toward the front of the grand old house, "when you are available to come help me translate all this into some sort of English that we both can understand."

   He paused, and with the slightest of bows, issued me back out onto the large stone porch. As we parted company in the afternoon sun and I walked down the steps to the street where my car was parked, I remember thinking that yes, there would be the comfort of tea with this man, perhaps soon.
    

© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


1 posted 05-18-2000 12:09 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Claire is this the end or will there
be more -----  It is interesting, yet
I felt there was going to be more.

netswan
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


2 posted 05-18-2000 12:19 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

This was my first meeting with my late husband. I will try to write more...this was my first attempt. I wasn't sure what I was going to write until just a little while ago when I started. Thank you for reading it, by the way.

~ Claire

 Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


3 posted 05-18-2000 12:34 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Wonderful Claire. I will look forward
to your next writings on this. I felt
that you were going to tell more --)

I love to read --)
Thanks for reading my story --) Glad you
enjoyed it.

netswan
WolfsMate
Member
since 01-14-2000
Posts 122
New York


4 posted 05-18-2000 12:38 AM       View Profile for WolfsMate   Email WolfsMate   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WolfsMate

A good beginning you have here. I too will be awaiting the rest of the story.

 "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near"
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


5 posted 05-18-2000 12:57 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Thank you, Wolfsmate. I think, however, that I may have posted it prematurely. I don't know whether it would actually be considered a prose piece. I'm thinking I should delete and perhaps try again when I have more written.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9116
Purgatorial Incarceration


6 posted 05-18-2000 02:12 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Christopher's Home Page   View IP for Christopher

It's up to you Claire, of course, but I definitely want to read more from you. You've got that "voice" that I love hearing. Please, pray thee continue m'lady.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 27208


7 posted 05-18-2000 03:18 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Oh Claire---do write more...this simply READ TO ME...smooth and lovely writing.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


8 posted 05-18-2000 02:03 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Claire,
dont delete this treasure..just add to it.
you write prose with the same grace, detail and imagery you do your poetry...not that there was any doubt*smile*
dont make us beg  
more please.
jm
Dawn Eclipse
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since 01-31-2000
Posts 640
The Horsehead Nebula


9 posted 05-18-2000 05:30 PM       View Profile for Dawn Eclipse   Email Dawn Eclipse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dawn Eclipse

That was a great beginning to your story, and Please don't deleat it!  It was great!  

 "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying."
Harry Anderson, "Night Court"

*Cassandra Roseen*
jbouder
Member Elite
since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


10 posted 05-18-2000 09:56 PM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

Claire:

I really enjoyed reading this.  The dialogue and narration flowed effortlessly for me and you caught me up in the story.  Thanks for sharing.

Jim
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


11 posted 05-18-2000 11:21 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Thank you, everyone, for such encouragement. In retrospect, I suppose I should have waited to post this after I had more content, but in my mind and memory, this scene was complete. I will see what I can do about writing more, but cannot do it tonight. Will post when I write it though. Thank you, in earnest, for reading and your gracious responses.


~ Claire

 Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 27973
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


12 posted 02-16-2008 08:46 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Enjoyed reading this...James
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 02-12-2001
Posts 2919
USA


13 posted 03-12-2008 04:51 PM       View Profile for Lady In White   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lady In White

Claire, I hope you come back to continue this story. The beginning of it held me. Better yet, work it up into a novel.

Regards...

write with grace, all others lose face;
"Jo was very tall, thin, ... and reminded one of a colt..." LMA

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 06-24-2004
Posts 3712
OH


14 posted 03-15-2008 10:31 AM       View Profile for miscellanea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for miscellanea

Claire,
  
   You have given incredible character development without unneeded sentences.  Every description of the setting gave me an essence of his being.  Quality and desirability are not dependent upon quantity.  For example, I consider the impact the short book, The Giving Tree, has had on small decisions I've made in life.  No, size doesn't matter...  You have quality writing here...

A pleasure to read,
miscellanea
Larrysmom
Senior Member
since 04-03-2008
Posts 533
Florida, USA


15 posted 04-03-2008 11:43 PM       View Profile for Larrysmom   Email Larrysmom   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larrysmom's Home Page   View IP for Larrysmom

Wow! I would love to read the rest of the story... Very vivid.

Tammy<333
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 01-25-2008
Posts 7227
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


16 posted 06-24-2009 02:51 PM       View Profile for Robert E. Jordan   Email Robert E. Jordan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Robert E. Jordan

Yo dear Claire,

This is excellent work.  Keep up the great writing.

Love Bobby
HAZARD
Junior Member
since 06-24-2009
Posts 40
ENGLAND


17 posted 07-05-2009 08:09 AM       View Profile for HAZARD   Email HAZARD   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HAZARD

I'd like to read more - the scene was set beautifully.
Relaxed pace and a lullaby feel to the prose.

A gentle insight into how friendship begins and how passions are slightly aroused by  sounds, sights, feelings, colours, textures... Also some very moorish descriptions - Molasses always reminds me of Macaster oil and slicked 30's hair styles... ENCORE!

HAZARD
rad802
Member
since 04-19-2008
Posts 198
KY U.S.A.


18 posted 07-31-2009 07:51 AM       View Profile for rad802   Email rad802   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit rad802's Home Page   View IP for rad802

Wow
You really hav a way with words.
Very nice.

A worthy legacy is the irrevocable consequence of dreaming.
Rick A. Delmonico

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