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ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

0 posted 2000-04-03 05:58 PM


We sat side by side next to the lake, the sun shining hot on our necks. We were laughing at a joke which I cannot remember anymore. He was “Seth” to me, I “Amy” to him. I remember everything about that day as though it is my favourite movie. I was happy and in love.

We were on a school trip when we “fell” for each other, I have the biggest bruise to show for that, a bruise that will never disappear.  I remember the first time he said “I love you, Amy”. I felt sooo giddy and weak at the knees. His eyes were bright blue and he had light brown hair that curled in the most adorable way.  I’ll never forget that school trip...it was wonderful. Being with Seth and all of my friends, camping by Lake Michigan on our Junior Retreat. That was the last warm, sunny summer I had before the clouds set in.

The trip ended as trips do, we all went home and back to slaving away at school.  My relationship with Seth continued to blossom. I had never loved that way before. Seth had moved to Cincinnati, Ohio just before that wonderful trip. He was my first boyfriend.  At school we were locker mates, he was in the same homeroom as me. Everyone knew that where you found Amy you found Seth and vice versa.

My mom didn’t approve of him. She said he was too old for me. “C’mon, mom, what’s a year?”  No one could tell me Seth wasn’t right for me...we were made for each other.
To make mom feel better, we always made plans to double-date with my best friend Lindsay and her boyfriend Andy.  We went to movies, the park, anywhere that we could have a good time. We had some great times, the four of us. Seth was an angel in my eyes.

Everything was wonderful for a while, but then Seth got sick of double dating. “I want you to myself, Amy” ,he would say, “I am sick of sharing you”.  It flattered me to think that someone like Seth could want spend time alone with an ordinary girl like me. So I started going behind mom’s back. I’d tell her that we were meeting Andy and Lindsay someplace when Seth picked me up in his blue pick up. Being alone with Seth was like heaven on earth. He was so gentle. He would hold my hand, look in to my eyes and tell me he couldn’t live without me. I would have done anything for him...well, almost anything.

The nightmarish day started the same as any other. The same mad rush to get to school on time, giggles behind open lockers, notes passed back and forth in class. After school, Seth said he had a special surprise waiting for me at the park. We got in to his car and he started driving in the direction of the park. I imagined a cozy little picnic together.  I gazed at him lovingly and he smiled that cute smile of his. But  before we got there he took what I thought was a wrong turning.”Seth, you took the wrong fork, Honey.” . He just looked at me knowingly. “Seth, where are we going?”
“Just relax, Sweetheart!”.

I  felt a little disconcerted. I had never been down this road before, I had no idea where he was taking me. “This is Seth” ,I reminded myself,”He loves you...calm down”.
Then we stopped by a deserted cottage. “I live  here” , he said. “Where are your parents?” I asked. “Dead” he said without a flicker of emotion. I looked up at his face and saw that the usually warm and twinkly eyes had hardened...he looked almost cruel.  “Let’s go inside” he said brusquely. He took my hand and led me indoors.

Once inside he looked at me with a look of such hatred that my blood ran cold. “You bitch!” he said. “You with your nice little family, nice little friends, nice little life”.
“Seth....what-”,
“Shut up!” he cut me off. “ Do you know what it is like to be in pain? To be so alone you can hardly stand being alive?”
“Seth...”
“Well, very soon you will know!”
He grabbed my hand roughly and dragged me into his  living quarters. Once there, he pulled a gun out from one of the few drawers. I screamed. Then all went black. He had hit me across the side of the head. I came to in a small room whose only furnishing was a bed. My head was throbbing and I was completely disorientated.
”Seth...please take me home” I begged, tears starting to run down my cheeks. “I want to go home..”
“Amy, the only way you’re getting home is if you listen to me and do what I say, if  you make me angry I may do something I’ll regret.” He replied roughly, twiddling the gun suggestively.
“What do you want,  Seth?...I don’t understand...” I said looking fearfully at his gun.
“To pass on my pain” He replied “I’m sorry Amy, I thought your love would take away my pain but it didn’t, so now I am going to force my pain upon you.....take off your clothes.”  He pointed his gun at my head. “Now”.
“Seth, no...please not that...please Seth....let me go  home.”
He didn’t reply, he merely unbuckled his belt. Trembling, I obeyed him. I kept begging him to leave me alone...to take me home. Then he pushed me on to the bed and hurt me. Hurt me like nothing before. I concentrated on his gun, still held in his right hand as he straddled me. It was grey, glittering coldly.

After what seemed like an eternity, he told me to get dressed. Then we were driving back along the road the main part of town. I couldn’t stop crying. He kept apologising for what he had done...said he loved me. He told me not to tell anybody...if I did I would be in trouble and he didn’t want that. Then we were outside my home. He kissed me goodbye like normal. I pulled away from him and jumped out of the car. Mom wasn’t home so I went up to my room and threw myself on the bed. Then I cried and cried and cried until I eventually fell asleep. That was how she found me.
“Amy, what happened honey?” She said. I was dirty and dishevelled with a bruise forming over one of my eyes. I shook my head and began to cry again. If  I could have died then I would have done so gladly. She took me in her arms and held me while I cried myself out of tears again. I looked up at her.”Seth” I said. “He hurt me mommy”

Three years have passed. Seth got sentenced to 5 years in prison. In two years he will be out looking for me. He said so himself. He said that when he is released he will find me and kill me.  Since I first “fell” in love, I have not looked a boy in the eye without seeing Seth lurking in the depths of him. I have been having therapy but the nightmares are  frequent. I am not giving up though. I am going to get through this. I have to. I won’t let Seth ruin my life. He took away my innocence, I grew years in a few hours, but he won’t take anything else. In two years, I will be prey. Seth, the hunter. I am terrified that he will find me but I have faith in God and my family to protect me. The one thing that I will never do is fall in love....I have enough bruises to last me a life time.


© Copyright 2000 ESP - All Rights Reserved
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
1 posted 2000-04-03 08:51 PM


Wow.  That was very sad.  it nearly had tears in my eyes by the end.  It is a horrible thing that you had to go through.  But like you said, have faith in your family and God.  It will turn out all right.  My prayers are with you.

 Sometimes the most important things can't be seen with the eyes, but are rather felt with the heart.
*Cassie Roseen*



Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
2 posted 2000-04-03 10:48 PM


It's frightening to think that fiend will be walking free in a few short years.  It had to be utterly horrifying, but don't give up on love, it's too important to miss out on.  My prayers are with you

 Abrahm Simons

"...Watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose" - Trent Reznor, "We're in this Together"

SorrowsMystress
Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 178
I'm a wanderer, a nomad...I don't live in one particular area, Just wherever I end up.
3 posted 2000-04-04 03:38 AM


It's so sad that I can relate a life story to such pain, but I can. I am going through something similar now (someone in jail) and have gone through a few years of abuse and rape. I totally understand the characters fright, and still have nightmares to this day (2 1/2 years later) of the horrid atrocities which were inflicted upon me. THis really stirred up a lot of emotion for me, and I truly, truly loved it. Astonishing work.   Standing Ovation :
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
4 posted 2000-04-04 05:27 PM


Lizzie,

That's quite a story you tell and very well written too. You give people like me a glimpse of the horror, hurt and deep wounds forced upon an innocent person. Not to mention the fright for the future.
My prayers are with you. (((((HUGS)))))
(And with you too SorrowsMystress)
                

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2000-04-04 11:11 PM


Extremely powerful, ESP.  You made my heart lurch when I read this.  Every girl's worst nightmare...I am glad you are starting to get through it and I wish you the best of luck in the future.  

 *Krista Knutson*

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
~*Albert Schweitzer*~

Nativetexan2
Junior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 13

6 posted 2000-04-05 01:36 AM


Lizzie, what a well written piece. It has powerful emotions streaming through it. I hope "Amy" learns how to love again.

Rich

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
7 posted 2000-04-05 04:06 AM


  Guys.....this is just a story. I feel so embarassed. Lately my prose ,and indeed my poetry too, has been centered around the evils of society. I am so sick of hearing about all the horrific things that happen to women. So I wrote this in an effort to try and empathise with them. Sorry.....
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