»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Chimera
| Passions in Prose |
|
Chimera |
|
|
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN 
|
I hope there aren't too many mistakes in this piece.. it's a work in progress inspired by a single word.. I hope I can stick with this one, LOL The sterile steel walls stretched endlessly off as far as the human eye can penetrate. Bright fluorescent lights shed their too bright, lifeless rays in a hopeless attempt to break the somber mood of the emotionless halls. The whir of monstrous mechanisms and computers secreted in shadowy alcoves filled the air with a constant metallic drone. I pressed myself up against the cold steel of one of those alcoves placing myself out of sight and dimming the droning of the huge machine. After a few moments I hear the echoing fall of booted feet on metal grating. The footfalls drew nearer and I saw him pass by the tiny crevice in which I concealed myself. As he passed I quickly and silently withdrew from my place of concealment. I lifted my left arm level with the guard’s back, the well-oiled limb not making a sound. With a slither of steel on steel a tiny poisoned blade slid out from between the steel joints of the claws of my left hand and with a swift movement I drove the blade into the base of the man’s neck. He crumpled silently into my outstretched arms and I carefully dragged him to the crevice. I moved my right hand subtly and chanted under my breath, when I finished the guard was not to be seen. A glance at my left arm proved its humanity and that I was clad in a guard’s somber uniform. Everything was in order and with a confident step I move through the halls. My boots rang loudly off the polished steel grating but I take no notice, appearance is everything, and my appearance is anything. Rounding a corner with a militant snap I find myself faced with a tall steel portal. Five-centimeter reinforced armor plating, any frontal assault on it would be folly. My eyes trail down to the middle right of the doors frame noticing the small keypad with a smile. I stretch my emaciated right hand against the cool metal keys, sending a tendril of my thought into the thoughtless conscious of the machine. My gentle probe of its workings begins the execution of the fatal alarm sequence. With the speed of a single thought I manipulate the machine’s workings, aborting the feared alarm sequence. My mind fights deeper into the metal monstrosity but with surprising force. Growing impatient I bring my power to bear and subdue the machine through force. The door slides silently open and before me stand the whirring, hulking mass of the Society’s research facility mainframe. My hands caressed cold, metallic surface of the mainframe in an exploration of it in strength and weakness, in the raging flow of data in its golden veins. Cautiously, lovingly, the thin tendrils of my thoughts insinuate themselves within the circuits, probing, delving the mind of the machine. A torrent of information assailed my unprotected mind and swiftly I raised the mental barriers around my conscious slowing the flow of data. Data flashes through my thoughts: names, code, locations, it all passes by at lightning speed, leaving only a few facts burned themselves upon my mind. The torrent of information grew ever faster, speeding by me in a blinding blur, except for one piece that shined brightly. My own name and my number, it was, given to me upon my birth, an identity in this cold world. These few characters were me. Bile rose in my throat at the bitter thought of being seen as just a number. “Those fools will get what is coming to them,” I snarled in the depths of my mind as I contemptuously deleted the foul data. Burning pain sends lances of pain through my nerves and I grab my head as it forces itself through me. I was violently disconnected from the server, but by whom? And better yet, for what purpose? A beep from a remote terminal behind me causes to me to turn to see the white on black text displayed there. Chimera, Your gauntlet has been thrown and I accept with great enthusiasm. I am trusting that your overt operations are as well executed as your covert. Keep in good health. Ragnarok The wail of a siren pierced the stale air of the mainframe chamber as red lights flashed and reflected off the steely expanses of the walls. I turned to run at the chamber’s door only to have it plunge down and lock. I cursed violently now the whole compound was on alert, and to get out of here I’d have to use my power. Sighing inwardly I bring my living right hand to bear on the metal door, quietly I chant the words of the spell under my breath. As I reached the end of the spell I touched the door with outstretched finger and ripples of quicksilver spread throughout the door and I step through the once solid steel. I lean heavily against the cold metal of the hallway as I regain my strength, the quicksilver door had hardened back into steel, but my energy was still depleted. I thank Machina for my good fortune on not being confronted in my week state. My thanks die on my tongue as the reverberating sound of heavy steel feet echoed down the corridor and was closely by followed by the hulking bulk of an armored battlesuit. Its right arm leveled upon my chest, protesting slightly with a whine of steel, but locked firmly upon its target. I curse silently, as the ten foot monstrosity stops dead and unleashes a volley of titanium rounds. The sharp, staccato reports echo eerily off the walls and it is all I can do to summon the very last of my power to slow these bullets. Hopefully before they hit me. I close my eyes as the metal draws nearer, the scream their passing made died and I open my eyes to find I had barely acted fast enough. No time had I to revel in my small victory, it wouldn’t be long before the machine was ready to fire again. Taking my chance I sprinted towards the machine at breakneck speed, the tiny nanomachines of my leg prodding my muscles for near fatal results. With a thought the tiny blade of my left arm slithers out from between the knuckles and as I near the machine I throw myself into a roll between the battlesuit’s huge legs. Coming out of the well-practiced roll upon my feet and pivoting swiftly I drove the small blade between the armor plates at the knee and was rewarded by a gush of dark green liquid. The hit on the leg’s hydraulics caused the metal monstrosity to crash heavily to the ground. I knew that before long the auxiliary would kick in and I had to get out of there long before that. I sprint along the corridor, my boots banging heavily against the grated floor and ducking my head to eke out every ounce of speed into my mad dash. I take the corner and find myself crashing through the ranks of somber uniformed guards on the way to the mainframe room. The stunned guards took only a second to recover, about facing quickly and bringing their automatic weapons to bear, but by that time I was almost out of sight. A barrage of bullets followed my retreat and as I fled around the corner and was about to head down the narrow little crevice that led to a small grate to the sewer and my escape. “I’ve escaped them!” I thought as I took my first step towards the heavy steel grate blocking my escape only to fall to the bright steel floor with a metallic clang as my leg no longer supported my weight. I looked back quickly to see the gaping wound of the bullet’s exit, dripping crimson. The pain began spreading through my limbs now, and I quickly crawled towards the grate, I had to get out of here, I can’t die before I’m even started! I wrench the steel off the floor by grace of the powerful hydraulics in my left arm and pull myself into the rancid darkness of the sewer. I fell into the sewer in a half crouch feeling the cold water rushing by nearly to my chin. I dragged myself to my feet and proceeded to limp to the north, keeping one hand on the rusted iron wall. Left, straight, right, straight, straight, right, on and on past intersection after intersection, I continued into the depths of the sewer, I knew the guards were more than likely long gone being easily persuaded to give up the chase in such a horrid environment. After an indeterminable amount of time I felt my hand drag across a grated opening. I pulled the grate back and pulled myself into the narrow tunnel, taking the grate behind me to seal my path. A short crawl down the tunnel on hands and knees found me entering into a cavernous room lit by dim overhead lights and the dim glow of a computer screen. Ahh… yes, it is good to be home. I thought as I passed the cold steel bench and the shambles of a cot that was the bulk of the room’s furniture along with a small computer desk and chair. That desk and chair was where I was heading, it wasn’t too often that I was long away from the ebb and flow of the Net. I called up my messages to find only one a message from a FireBrand. How odd, I don’t know any FireBrand. I opened the message out of curiosity. Chimera That was excellent work in the Society’s Complex, Chimera. We are anxiously waiting to see what you’re made of. We are desperately wondering if you are ready to go. What am I talking about? That is for you to find out dear friend. You will have to come to us we do not allow slackers into our fold FireBrand I could feel curiosity running through me, I needed to find out who these people are and how their sources could be so well informed. Conflicting emotions of fear welled up in my throat, if these people can track me, there is a lot more they could do. I could feel paranoia and curiosity raging through me as I stared at the monitor when without a thought from myself the message deleted. < !signature--> Abrahm Simons Put one foot on the path of life and tread the dagger's path betwixt dark and light. [This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 03-14-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Abe, I'm not usually a reader of science fiction, but I found this quite exciting and well written. If I may make a suggestion, in the first paragraph, the use of so many descriptive words bothered me. For instance,The sterile steel walls -Bright lights--bright lifeless rays-- hopeless attempt-- somber mood-- emotionless halls. They just seemed to distract me from the smooth flow of the rest of the story. I hope you don't mind me mentioning this, as I really enjoyed reading this story. |
||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Good work, my friend! One thing, though. You're switching from past to present tense again. Other than that, I found this a good read! I normally don't like sci fi like this, but I enjoyed this one, my friend. *Krista Knutson* "Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~ |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Great read Abe....I have a few suggestions. Remember these are my opinion and if you want a good critique you have to ask Chris..lol I pressed myself up against the cold steel of one of those alcoves blocking out the droning of the huge machine to hear the echoing fall of booted feet on metal grating. I think this sentince needs some work. Why did he press himself up against the alcove when he had yet to hear the foot falls? The sharp, staccato reports echo eerily off the walls and it is all I can do to summon the very last of my power to slow these bullets. Hopefully before they hit me. Sharp, staccato reports? A barrage of bullets followed my retreat and as I fled around the corner and was about to head down the narrow little crevice that led to a small grate to the sewer and my escape. “I’ve escaped them!” I thought as I took my first step towards the heavy steel grate blocking my escape. Only to fall to the bright steel floor with a metallic clang as my leg no longer supported my weight. I looked back quickly to see the gaping wound of the bullet’s exit, dripping crimson. The pain began spreading through my limbs now, and I quickly crawled towards the grate, I had to get out of here, I can’t die before I’m even started! This could be made into one paragraph. It is choppy when in two. Other then a few small things, this is excellently written Abe. *S* |
||
|
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Thank you all for replying! Martie - Thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it, especially if Sci-Fi isn't your normal read. I'll try to smooth out the intro a little, but some little part of me loves to start out with a descriptive bang, LOL. Krista - Thanks for the reply, and Argh, I can't believe I'm doing the tense thing again.. thanks for pointing it out to me. Marilyn - Thanks for the little critique! It was helpful. And reports - n. 3. explosion And I believe "sharp, staccato explosions echo" works. Thanks again for the advise, I really appreciate it! Abrahm Simons Put one foot on the path of life and tread the dagger's path betwixt dark and light. |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You have a wonderful imagination, Abe. I could picture the scenes as they were unfolding. Good job! Denise |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Great Abe, nice to see you testing the waters with varying genres! I can tell you've just as much expertise with this as with fantasy! |
||
|
Ruby dagger Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76Wyoming, MN, U.S.A |
Great job! You know I don't read Sci-fi, but this is really good. But there is one thing, you need to write the rest of the story. (you know I'll bug ya for more story, hehehe) Luv ya Kelly Love breaths when you're out of breath, Love sits by the bedside when you're near to death, and Love still feels it when the feelings gone, Love lives on and on. Love is the right place. -Bryan White |
||
|
Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
NINJA ABE! That was a wonderful story! Unlike all the other people, I love science fiction! Yay space, and all the other stuff! I really enjoyed your story. Very detailed, and very vivid in my small mind.  I really enjoyed it, and as Kelly said, you gotta write some more! Awesome story!NINJA CASSIE! Sometimes the most important things can't be seen with the eyes, but are rather felt with the heart. Cassie |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Am I glad part two is already waiting for me ! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
