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Forgive....
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Forgive.... |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee 
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I forgot to tell him I loved him one last time the day daddy left for Naval boot camp. I was six years old. I cried in time to the windshield wipers as I watched him climb unto the bus. The vinyl seats of the old ford were no comfort to the cold. The bus pulled away and my heart went with it. I was glad he could not see me sob. He asked me to be a big girl for momma. She sat in the drivers seat crying too. We welcomed the rain. Days drifted into one another. A phone call, a letter, a gift in the mail. We lived to hear from him each day. I wrote feverishly with my fat pencil. Trying to be as neat as possible through my excitement. Are we really going to Florida? I'm so happy daddy. I can't wait to see you soon. How many more days? I antagonized Momma as we counted down. He arrived in silence one day. I was playing with Barbie and Momma was in the kitchen cooking. A man walked through the front door. A duffle bag was thrown over his shoulder. A Snoopy Bowl hat and dress blues clad this stranger. "Momma! I screamed" Barbie went flying across the room and then I recognized the smile. "Daddy!" I lept from the floor and attached myself to his neck. Dishes fell to the floor in the kitchen as Momma leaned forward in a run to him. We hugged forever. We sang as we packed everything and headed for the ocean. From Tennessee we drove through the mountain's cool shade. Each mile farther south brought different scents and breezes and hues. Alabama was bright with pink azeleas. Strange webs of moss hung from giant trees. I took in everything like liquid. Georgia had peanut stands littering the way. Cotton fields dotted the roadsides in between the peach tree orchards. You could see the haze of heat rising from the blacktop. Everything seemed a dream. When we arrived in Florida we stopped at a motel and piled out in tired fashion. Sleep came easy but I dreamed of the lines in the middle of the road all night. When daylight came we drove to our new home Daddy had rented while he was in school. It was green block and ugly but it was a mansion to me. After we settled into our new home Momma drove me to my new school. I was scared stiff and hyperventilating. She soothed away my nervousness and guaranteed that I would do just fine. "Remember..Treat others the way you want to be treated and you'll make new friends fast." "Ok Momma." I walked into the class room and eyes held me prisoner. I held my breath and wished I hadn't worn that fluffy dress. Lunch time came and we filed out one by one to the cafeteria. The food was digusting. The creamed corn was soup. The roast beef was leather. And the taters were not done. Oh well, the others didn't like it either. A girl approached the table and spoke to me. "Hey! What's your name?" To my horror I spoke clear and loud. "My name is Renea. I'm from Tennessee." The drawl that elated in my voice brought silence to the whole cafeteria. "Oh God, You're one of them dumb hill billies" the girl snarled. The rest of the year did not get any better. Neither did the other two. I was skinny and little and timid. They took great pride in ripping out my long hair as they passed by. A girl named Janice constantly punched me and hit me to the laughter of the others. One day she hit me repeatedly in the back of the head with a basketball. I could not defend myself because of a broken arm that was casted and in a sling. I was their pawn in their daily game of bullying chess. They won every day. Momma and Daddy went to the school and the cruelty would subside for a time. Then I just stopped telling them how I got the bruises. "I fell on the playground" I would lie. I thanked God when Daddy said we were transferred to California. I pushed my anger inside and hoped for a new life. Anything was better than this. Momma and Daddy knew I was unhappy. No one could believe why. I found solace in the playhouse Daddy built. I had sweet imaginary friends. I still have their little stuffed bodies stored away. Mrs. Beasley was my favorite. The others are teddy bears hugged to fragility. We packed everything again and headed for California. Our post was five miles away from Malibu Beach. Life was brand new. California was a much larger melting pot. I was accepted immediately and found great and meaningful friends. Everything went from neato to cool man! Boys, bicycles and boys. I played softball like a pro and ran the neighborhood all day. The post was safe and guarded and patrolled by the MP's. So Momma let me run. Two and a half years later Daddy said we were moving again. I was not going! I wanted to stay. Yeah right! I pitched a screaming fit! I was defeated and beaten down with saddness. I sobbed uncontrolably for days. Our destination...Florida. Again! In my disgust, as we crossed the Florida state line,I found that I had missed the smell of the Gulf. That suntan lotion and fresh brewed tea scent. We found a home and my parents bought it. So I knew we were here for the long haul. They said if I would give it a shot and didn't like it I could go and live with Grandmaw in Tennessee. I compromised. I was now thirteen. I was gangly and towered in my five foot nine stature. Soft-ball and bicycling made me tough and quick and strong. My attitude was very resentful as Momma took me to school once again. The new girl..always the new girl. I entered middle school and settled in and didn't pay attention to the stares anymore. I was a professional new girl now. We filed outside to the courtyard and I walked with clinched fists. Volleyball was on the agenda and I was glad to get to release some tension. We lined up in our positions and began the game. The ball shot across the net and I jumped and pummeled the ball back. The others ducked and ran from the ball. I suddenly felt good amongst my old stomper's ground. It was our serve and a girl reluctantly took the ball. She nervously took a swat at the ball. She bent her fingers back and the ball tripped acoss our court and under the net. The shrieks of laughter poured out among all the girls. I was horrified when I saw her fingers begin to swell. She fell to the ground clinching her hand and tears came to her eyes. I immediatley went to her and pulled her up. "Let me help." Hey teacher we gotta get some ice. She's hurt. She needs to go to the nurse. The laughter did not subside. I ran over to the ball under the net and screamed. "Shut up. She is hurt. Don't you people care?" They immediately hushed. I ran to the girl who was just a fraction of my size and the teacher had me walk her to the nurse. Her fingers looked painfully stubbed. I took her by the arm and gently walked her the whole way. I apologized for the stupidity of the others. I told her my name and asked her for hers. Her eyes widened and she shook her head in denial. "You're not Renea Jones are you?" she asked. "Yeah, why? Do you know me from Brentwood? It's been a while I rambled, but I don't remember your face...so what's your name anyway?" "I'm Janice. Janice Snyder." she spoke softly. My thoughts raced back to the horror of the bully that hit and kicked and beat at me daily. She was so big then. So mean and awfull. I pictured her as my tormentor and messenger of death. The tourture of arriving in the midst of her presence each day. I prayed she would fall ill and not be at school. I ached with whys and what did I ever do to you. But at this moment she was so afraid. She knew. She knew that I knew. Her tears flowed for different reasons now. I saw myself in her eyes. She was helpless and fragile and a whole different person. Her fear made her forget that her fingers were in pain. She shook with fright, regret, and sorrow. Tears pooled my eyes and I closed them to a long sigh. My hate left my body like a billowing of rushing souls. My heart immediately breathed new space. I finally released the pain and set it free. I could not help but feel sorry for this girl as I peered into her eyes. I had never let go of her arm. I stood silently shocked. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you Renea!" she said with real repent. "I can't believe how I treated you. And you have been so nice to me. I don't deserve your help. Please forgive me! I'll never treat you that way again." My voice quivered but I found it inside my heart. "Hey, don't let this shock you. I've never forgotten that till now. That was a long time ago. We're different now. I'm willing to forgive and forget." She went limp in my hands and burried her head in my chest and hugged me harder than she had ever hit me. Forgive I did. Forget my new friend.....never. [This message has been edited by rwood (edited 03-04-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Regina Wood - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is a beautiful, heartwarming story! Very well written! Denise |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I could really relate to this. I was also teased in Elementery school (ya know, the brainy, chubby kid), and all of the people who were so mean to me are now my friends. This was very well written. Keep up the good work. "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
An echo to Denise here! What a wonderful story you've written, I enjoyed it much. I really hope to see more of you here, as this was quite a work! Abrahm Simons Put one foot on the path of life and tread the dagger's path betwixt dark and light. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
This is a powerful story about forgiveness and understanding. It deserves to be brought to the top. martyjo |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
A wonderful story and even more so if true~~ M |
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