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Tap Tap Tap
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Tap Tap Tap |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London 
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 "Honey! ... wake up!" "huh " ... "Wake up ... there's a noise" "huh ... noise ... ( cough cough ) yah ... nice " "Honey! ... wake up!" " there's something in the basement " "Ok ok " ( cough ) ... 'tap tap tap' "did you here that?" ... 'tap tap tap' "yah ... it ... it's definately coming from the basement " ( cough ) 'tap tap tap' ... " where's my lozenges ... oh ... ok I got em " "stay here ... I'll check it out " "ok be careful " ... 'tap tap tap' 'Click ... click' ... no lights ... 'tap tap tap' 'squeeeek' ... oh man ... stupid stairs 'squeeeek' ... 'tap tap tap' ... what is that noise? Where is the dog? ... 'tap tap tap' why isn't she barking? ... 'tap tap tap' I don't like this ... gee it's warm down here 'Tap tap tap' ... better check the fuse box ... Good God!!! where's the fuse box gone??? ... 'tap tap tap' "WHERE THE HELL'S THE DOG???" Looks like a faint light under the funace room door 'tap tap tap' ... what the ... somethings against the door ... "uuuugghh" "Smokey ! ... why didn't you move, girl ... and how did you get in here? Girl? ... Smokey? ... 'snap snap' ... what are you staring at ? " Ohhh ! ... **** ! ... Please God ... let this be a dream ... one mother of a hole where Mr Furnace used to be ... 'Tap Tap Tap' Man it's hot in here ... 'Tap Tap Tap' ... "What the Hell is that Sound" ... the glow coming from that hole ... and the Stench !!! "well girl ... I think it's time we leave ... ok? " ... ... ... WHAT THE !!! No Dog ! ... NO DOOR !!! ... ... ... 'Tap Tap Tap' ... BREATHE Deep Breaths ... relax ... settle down ... 'Tap Tap Tap' " DAM IT ... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SOUND ? " Ok ok ... reality check ... this has to be a dream ... " OUCH " ... maybe not ... I thought this room was bigger ... the Walls ... "They're MOVING!!! " ... "OH YAH ... I LOVE THIS ... THIS IS FUN !!! " It doesn't look too far down ... "now or never r r r r r .................UHH!" "DAM IT "... I bit my tongue ... man that hurts ... now I know I'm awake ... ...........what is this place ... It stinks in here ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... that sound ... it's coming from this direction ... down this tunnel ... that glow seems to be coming from there too ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... There's another sound ... like distant screems ... and moans ... yes ... the walls seem to be moaning ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' it's louder now ... just up ahead ... somethings moving ... the tunnel dips down and seems to end in a little room ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' somethings moving over behind that weird box ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' It's ... It's a little man ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... what the heck is he doing maybe I can sneak a little closer ... quietly ... just inch along this wall ... slowly ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... he's ... he's chiseling ... it's ... it's ... It's a tombstone ... " MY NAME !!! " oh dam he saw me ... " Heh ... Heh Wait ... COME BACK ... HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE? " ......... did that box just move ... ... ... thats ... not ... a box ... it's a Coffin it's coming at me ... gotta run ... my feet ... They're Stuck ... there's hands holding my ankles ... Skinless Hands ... The Coffin's got me ... It's Crushing me against the wall ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... the little man is back ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... HE' S FINISHING MY NAME ! ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... DEAR GOD ! ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' ... ' TAP TAP TAP ' " Honey ! wake up ... ' tap tap tap ' ... Honey ! your having a nightmare " < !signature--> I'm not ugly! I'm just visually challenged! [This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 02-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Rex Allen McCoy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
This was unique Rex. Very interesting, I could never write something like this. My hat is off to you sir. Well done.  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Whew! I thought I was having a nightmare too! Good job Rex! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This was very captivating up to the end, and written in dialogue that was true to life. A very unusual piece of prose. Well done Liz |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I enjoyed this Rex, kept me on the edge of my chair..and like the repetition of the tap...What a dream! (uh, have you checked your basement lately?) |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
I'm going to Wal Mart right now and buying a night light. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
I liked this piece, Rex! The almost complete lack of imagery and abundance of dialogue gave this piece the fast piece it deserves. The ending was a tad cliche, but I really don't mind on this one because the excellent, unique writing style covers that. Enjoyed, hope to see more of you! A writer's soul is on paper etched. In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
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bobbycat Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233USA |
I am SO glad my house doesn't have a basement! LOL great work--my heart was pounding right until the end! Bobbycat =^..^= ~~Blessed Be!~~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Frightening nightmare, Rex. You made it come alive with your words! Denise |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Thanks everyone ... This was my first atempt at writing prose ... I find poetry flows much easier but I did enjoy writing this story ... perhaps I'll write another sometime Thanks again for your kind replies Rex}<{{{{o> I'm not ugly! I'm just visually challenged! |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Dusk Treader ... at the ending ... the ' tap tap tap ' was my wife tapping my shoulder trying to wake me from the dream |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
a great poem to read just before going to sleep!!! Kathleen |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
oohhhh! That was an excelent story!!! I enjoyed it very much. It kept making me guess, which is awesome! I look forward to reading more from you. "It is in our aloneness that we recognize our oneness, even as the single droplet of water knows also that it is the sea."Daniel *Cassie Roseen* |
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mini poet Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 56Canada |
great story dad you made me laugh! =) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Rex... I'm so glad you child has come to visit...I saw the trail in Today's topics... You should be so proud! |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Hahaha, that was a fun mindjob of a reality messing piece. I love how you wrote this entirely using dialog. No descriptions, just dialog and onomotopoeia. Life's short. Think hard! |
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KatVern17 Junior Member
since 2009-05-07
Posts 33 |
Well done. I felt my heart racing..I hope I don't have that nightmare..gosh, I love my dog, but hate the apartment I'm in...the basements is soo freaky. LOL..Good piece. |
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sasanka7 Junior Member
since 2010-11-17
Posts 30 |
Excellent! superb! It is also like a poem. I appreciate the way of expression. sasanka |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
I didn't know my daughter had sent this piece back to the surface... I had fun writing this piece, just to try my hand at prose. Thanks everyone... Perhaps I'll try another, now that I'm sort of retired Rex |
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