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Bad luck with bees(and I lost my wallet)
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Bad luck with bees(and I lost my wallet) |
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jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
As I was rolling down the hillside, in my underwear, and covered in honey soaked sawdust, all I could think of was where I had left my wallet this morning. You see I know that it was in my pants pocket when I got home and all I did was take off my pants and put them on the floor. So as I woke up, I of course was a bit put off when I found no wallet inside my pants. I live alone with the exception of my dog, who to my knowledge has not developed the ability to reach into pockets, and is perhaps his greatest frustration when he tries to get his keys to his dog house out of his pants pockets after a late night down at the Caterwail and suds. Well, I natural went on to assume that my memory was faulty and it might be in the house. So naturally I looked on my desk, the shelves, a drawer unopened in two years, the back of the closet, in the toilet. I was out of logical places to look. I thought maybe it was in the car, so undressed I quickly ran out to my car to look on the dash. I checked under the seat where a rotting Burger bag waited and smeared a greenish gob onto my hand. Malignant slime stung and smelled like a dead badger if you cut it open and found something REALLY smelly inside. Well no wallet, but I saw a bee on my dash and smacked it, this was of course before I saw his friends who waited just outside the open window. They grabbed my arm and they started to drag me through the window, and through the air to their hive deep in the woods. I was thrown down forcefully and made to bow my head before the fat bloated queen who stood before me with accusing eyes. She said “you have killed my favorite nameless slave and for that you shall pay dearly," as a fake bee tear passed over her cheek. They dragged me to a pile of waste honey and chipped wood(some bees have crafty hobbies and have to throw their sawdust somewhere) where they rolled me over and over until I was coated in the thick residue. After that I managed to break their hold on me by grabbing a batch of flowers that grew close by. They pleaded and begged, as I dragged their flowers away and to show that I meant business, I plucked their petals and said more would come unless they left me alone. They buzzed and buzzed but did not follow as I ran away. Lost deep in the woods I never saw the root that tripped me and sent me sprawling down the hill, thinking again of my wallet. Where was that damn wallet |
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| © Copyright 2000 James Bowie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
ROTFLMAO for the second time today "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
ROFL, man you are warped, and I love it. Do you have some vendetta with insects? No matter... Hope you find your wallet, LOL A writer's soul is on paper etched. In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
How Sweet |
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