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Why Angel's Weep
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Why Angel's Weep |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
The angels were weeping that day as the rain drizzled onto the hundreds of people gathered. Soft rumbles echoed through the sky as one would verbalize the grief. The tears of the gathered were mingled with the ones from the heaven's as the grave stones gave witness to this tragedy. From beneath a canopy a lone violin sang to the bereft as the preacher stood over the opening in the earth, blessing the passage of this soul. There she stood, beside the casket, being held by loving hands. She could barely stand on knees weakened by grieving. She had no more tears, all that was left was a hollow emptiness that showed on her face and in her eyes. When the last blessing was complete the casket slowly descended into the final resting place. A piercing moan erupted from her soul as she fell to her knees, arms reaching toward the descending remains of her beloved. For 18 years she had him to hold, her thoughts slipped to the past and that fateful night only days ago. He was home for reading week and his friends had called to invite him to a movie. "Mark, do you have enough money?" Cindy called to her son as he was slipping on his jacket. He walked into the livingroom and kissed her on the cheek. "Yeah Mom, I'm fine. I'll be back around 11:30. Don't wait up." "I won't promise anything." She chuckled. "I love you Hun." She called after him. "Love you bunches Mom." He threw at her over his shoulder. that was the last she ever saw of her son. At 11 that evening there was a knock on her door. "He forgot his key again." She smiled to herself. She opened the door and there stood her neighbor Jason. His face was pale and he wouldn't look her in the eye. "What is it Jason? Are Rebecca and the kids OK?" She asked as her stomach knotted. "Cindy, it's Mark. I just passed an accident a few blocks from here. It was Ted Jenkin's car and I saw Mark and a few others with Ted earlier this evening, coming out of the theater." Cindy's face went white and she grabbed her coat. "Let's go Jason, take me there." Her voice was cold with fear and shock. They arrived at the scene before the emergency response team. People were gathered around trying to help but she heard someone say most were already dead. She closed her eyes for a moment and prayed that Mark was still alive then ran over to the car. Mark was the only one left inside, he was sitting there still in his seat belt. Someone was applying pressure to a gushing head wound but mark was unconscious. She slid into the seat next to him and stroked his hair, it was the only thing that soothed him as a child. "Hold on baby, help is on its way." She whispered into his ear. That is when she noticed the raspiness of his breathing and a small trickle of blood coming from his nose. "Oh Lord, no!" She thought to herself, he was bleeding internally and she knew it. She was holding on to his hand with her eyes closed when she heard a soft moan. He opened his eyes slightly. "Mom?" squeaked past his lips before he began to cough agonizingly. Dark red fluid flowed from his mouth as he coughed and gasped for breath. She watched her only son fight for his life and all she could do was be there with him, holding his hand. She cooed love words and encouragement to him as she watched the precious life drain from his face. She held on to his hand as he took his final breath there in the car in the middle of the street. The man who was holding the compress told her he was gone but she didn't hear him. She undid the seat belt and pulled him into her arms and rocked him like she had when he was small. Her tears flowed freely over her cheeks as she stroked his hair and sang him his favorite lullabies. Finally the EMT's pulled her from him and out of the car. Jason took her home to his place so she wouldn't be alone. She sat in the hall where they were serving coffee and sandwiches. She vacantly sipped some coffee while the people came and went. A woman sat down next to her and waited until she could get her attention. "Cindy, my name is Julia and I am with an organization called Mother's Against Drunk Driver's. I would like to leave you my card so that you can call us when you feel up to it. I lost my only child 2 years ago to a drunk driver and if it wasn't for this organization I wouldn't have a life now. Please take the time to read this material when you can." Julia got up and touched Cindy's shoulder before she left. Nothing registered to Cindy for she spent the next month in a daze. A month passed and Cindy became angry. She couldn't live with the fact that 4 beautiful teenagers were dead because of a drunk. The driver of the other car was so intoxicated that he walked away from the crash with nothing but scratches and a bump on his head. She read the material given to her by Mother's Against Drunk Driver's and called Julia. Through the work of this program Cindy found a meaning for her life, she found out that life does go on and she can make a difference. By sharing the loss of her only son with the country, she could make a difference. If she could stop one person from driving drunk, she could save at least one innocent life then all was at peace. That is how she had ended up here, a year later, standing in front of the freshman class of the local college. Telling them the story of her son and what had been lost. There wasn't a dry eye in the room as she finished. "....And that my friends, is why the angel's wept that day." |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Marilyn, this one gave me goosebumps. Well written and an excellent portray of the pain that this sensless tragedy causes. 10 years ago, my aunt, one of my cousins and another cousins son (12) were coming home from Christmas shopping. They had started up a big hill and a tractor trailer came down the the hill on their side of the road running over their little car. All three were killed, two mutilated so badly that they had to have a closed casket. The driver, who had been accused of drunk driving before, was once again drinking...but got off very easily compaired to what he did. My cousin, the mother of the 12 year old lost her mother, her sister and her son all at once and in such a sensless waste because one person didn't think. I'm glad to see you speaking up for these undeserving victims of drunk driving. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This brought me to tears, Marilyn! This was a sad and meaningful story. It was very well-written. Keep up the good work! "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
What a tale you've woven Marilyn! The opening paragraph was capturing with it's imagery and description of the sorrow there felt. Also, the scene where Mark's life was slowly draining away and Cindy was holding him was especially captivating. A heart wrencher you wrote here.. I can't stand the thougtht of idiots drinking and killing innocents, excellent piece against such a horrible injustice. Would make an excellent addition to MADD flyer, methinks. Greatly enjoyed  In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Marilyn, this is excellently written about one of the biggest tragedies that exist. You have gone to the heart of the issue, into the minds of those left behind to suffer through the loss of their loved ones....and the title is perfect. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Marilyn, this is excellent writing, So terribly sad, brought tears to my eyes. Well Done! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Good before the "bad." Gripping Marilyn. Never for a moment did I even consider the thought of halting my reading. It swept me through like I was atop a tidalwave. I also think you did a good job of description. You didn't overburden us with details, but did give us enough to be able to picture the scenario in our minds. And the subject matter - Oh so true and sad. Another tale for tears, m'friend. Though different from the other's which moistened my eyes, this still bears the mark of your heart! OK- Just a few words criticism. It's fairly standard, (and generally easier to read and follow,) when switching from one person to another in dialogue, to create a new paragraph for each individual. For example, here's how you might consider breaking up what is now your third paragraph: He was home for reading week and his friends had called to invite him to a movie. "Mark, do you have enough money?" Cindy called to her son as he was slipping on his jacket. He walked into the livingroom and kissed her on the cheek. "Yeah Mom, I'm fine.I'll be back around 11:30. Don't wait up." "I won't promise anything." She chuckled. "I love you Hun." She called after him. "Love you bunches Mom." He threw at her over his shoulder. That was the last she ever saw of her son. As you can see, each time the voice changed from one to the other, I made it the beginning of a new paragraph. Also, there were a few spelling errors, which I assume to be typos. Other than that, I might suggest a bit more depth into the mother's pain. We all felt it, but I think more because it was assumed rather than shown! All-in-all Marilyn, a wonderful, though sad, tale of sadness. [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-11-2000).] |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
"There wasn't a dry eye in the room as she finished" ...... That about sums it up Marilyn ...... A very heartwrenching and excellent piece ...... A perfect title ...I like how you incorporated it in the last sentence ..... Very well done !!! A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Maz, sorry it took me a day or two to get here, still fixing the computer  But THIS is wonderful, great title, well written, brought a tear to my eyes too, gripping. Great ending. BRAVO my sister Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
The tears of the gathered were mingled with the ones from the heaven's as the grave stones gave witness to this tragedy. So heartfelt and sad. I enjoyed it Marilyn...it wasn't hard for me to get carried away through-out the entire piece. Great Jennifer |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Marilyn: A beautiful and heartfelt piece; Such a bittersweet story. Well-written, you really tugged at my heart strings, it brought a tear to my eye. The title and the last paragraph that ties in the title is perfect. I am glad that I fianlly read your story. Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Thankyou all for your kind replies. I have not written anything for so long, I am just glad that this evolved into what it did. I had no intention for it to go this way...lol. I started with the first line and the rest sort of wrote itself. I know it needs some major editing (Chris...thanks for the pointers!)and I will do so soon. Thanks again. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Marilyn - this is quite a piece of work... Your story is indeed gripping - I can't think of any better adjective than that - so why try?? This is certainly every parent's very worst nightmare... and such an overwhelming sense of helplessness we experience when such a tragedy actually happens... Your writing is well organized, in that your introduction is the final scenario, flashing back to the precipitating plot. It's clear that you copied and pasted, so the paragraphs aren't properly organized. I'd like to see it in it's right alignment. - Well done, my friend... |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Marilyn, I have tears dripping everywhere. I could see myself as that mother. If it were my child, I would've reacted in the same way. Great message. I lost my mother to a drunk driver when I was 2. She was 21. There are so many lives lost to stupid decisions. |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Having not been to this forum until now ... I didn't know what to expect ... well let me tell you ... this is impressive ... Marilyn ... you made a grown man cry Rex I'm not ugly! I'm just visually challenged! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Wonderfully written marilyn...You left me sobbing in my chair here...(this also a grown man)...I know all too well the sorrows that drunk drivers can leave behind. Thanks for a wonderfully real read. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Wonderfully written and heartfelt. I get called out to the scene on fatality accidents. I have gotten so I hate the ring of the telephone late at night. Exceptional work Marilyn. |
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Grandma Jo Member
since 2000-01-02
Posts 51 |
I finally got here Marilyn, and WOW! So very moving. You caused my eyes to leak ... big time! Great writing, you gotta get your stuff into a book, and soon! Love ya! [This message has been edited by Grandma Jo (edited 02-27-2000).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Marilyn, this is a heart wrenching story and you have told it well, with the emotional impact of realness. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A gripping tale too often come true. Well written and smooth flowing all the way through. Liz |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I am weeping too, Marilyn. Such a tragic tale. Well written. Denise |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I am weaping in reading this. I lost two very close friends as a teenager to drunk driving incidents. It's a tragedy that bespeaks the mind. A wonderful message you have shared with us. Thank you, Marilyn. Michael |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
I don't know what to say. You have made me cry with this poignant story. I'm afraid there's nothing more I can say. |
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KathieO Junior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 14Canada |
Very powerfull. Heartfelt and emotion provoking to say the least. KathieO |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
I should've read this sooner Marilyn! I dunno why I didn't! People are around me asking me why I'm crying...I guess they think I'm crazy! Well..I know why I'm crying..Very heart-felt..I lost my Cousin to a drunk-driver..The drunk driver was her husband. Wonderful story Marilyn and a sad one too  stay cool  ~~Lavada~~ "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
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