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Amelia's Smile
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Amelia's Smile |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
As the casket went into the ground, Susan and Chad walked away. "She was my best friend, Chad. Why did she have to die?" Susan sobbed into Chad's shoulder. He couldn't think of anything to say. He just stood there and let her cry. Amelia had died in a car accident just two days earlier. They walked to Chad's car, and headed toward Susan's house. As she opened the door, her mother came out of the kitchen. "Susan? Is that you, dear?" she called. "Yes, mother, it's me" She answered back. "How was the funeral?" Susan rolled her eyes. "Just like any other funeral, mom." She hung up her jacket, and headed toward her room. Pictures of her and Amelia were all over her walls. On her bedroom mirror was the most recent. Amelia's senior picture. Seeing Amelia's smile made the tears she thought were gone swell up in her eyes. it isn't fair! she thought, as she screamed into her pillow. Susan had learned about Amelia's death from Chad. She was coming back from a party at her cousin's house, when a drunk driver hit her car. Amelia's car swung off the road and hit a tree. Amelia wasn't wearing her seatbelt and was thrown from the car. She landed on the road, cracking her skull and killing her instantly. The driver was too drunk to call for help, so he just ran off, leaving amelia there. She knew who did it...but no one would ever know... ~~Lavada~~ p.s. My first stab at prose..be gentle  "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to here it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin [This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 02-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lavada Miller - All Rights Reserved | |||
Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
hey there lavada! i really like this  but the ending kind of kept me wanting more...*how was i to kno that today id meet someone like you? how was i to see the light with him in my path and you too far to touch?* -pom16pom- |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
exactly Tamma! you got the picture! ~~Lavada |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Interesting start you have here Lavanda! It's hard to suggest a title, as this piece seems incomplete, as you have made mention too. When you finish more, edit this post to add it on and then reply to it to send it back up!  In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
you did it again!  i'm not going to complain..you can call me Lavanda if you want, Abe... I'll call you abrahm  stay cool all  ~~"Lavanda"~~ |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Very nice, Lavada. I really like what you've got so far. I believe in short titles. How about "Amelia's Smile" ? ~Gene |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I have to say the same with this one as Abe does. There really isn't enough to go on. Seems as if you jumped on it in the middle! |
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&dispose Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 18 |
This is an interesting inception of an idea you have going here. Besides seeming horrifingly real, it reminds you of the frailness of life. Although I have no idea for a title right now, if it goes unamed I think "unitilted" would be an accurate description. Good work and keep it up. It was once said: "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, its yours forever, if it doesn't, it was never meant to be." What if its dumb? - &dispose |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
The next morning, Susan went to school. Amelia should be here right now. On their way to school together, talking about their weekend, not down in the cold ground. Susan silently screamed at Amelia's killer Why did you do it? She was too young to die! She turned around at the sound of Chad's footsteps. "Susan? What are you doing here?" She looked around. She was standing at the front of Chad's house. "I don't know" she said. Chad looked at her carefully and said "Well, since your here, I'll walk you to school. You have that test in Algebra today, don't you?" But Susan didn't hear him. She was too busy silently cursing Amelia's killer. "Susan? Are you O.K.?" Susan snapped out of her trance. "I'm fine" she said. And if no one finds out what I've done, I'll be even better... "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin [This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 02-16-2000).] |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
As they reached the school grounds, Susan noticed a booth set up in the lawn. Walking over, she found out the Seniors were raising money for a memorial honoring Amelia. She hurriedly emptied out her pockets of all her change. "Susan, what are you doing?" Chad questioned. Susan didn't hear him. She just kept emptying her pockets. Chad grabbed her arm. "What is wrong with you? Amelia is dead. A memorial in her name isn't going to bring her back! Why can't you see that?" Chad let go of Susan's arm and headed inside to class. Susan just watched him go, to numb to follow. Slowly the realization sunk in...she'd killed her best friend...and she couldn't undo it. THE END so what did ya'll think? "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin [This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 02-17-2000).] |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
well..it's done stay cool all ~~Lavada~~ "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Interesting twist but why was she screaming at Chad's house? You have the basis of a wonderful story here. If you went into more detail and gave the story more of a preview before jumping right in, you will have something great. Keep writing and learning. |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Marilyn: She was screaming at herself. She was asking herself why did she get drunk, and why did she drive away instead of help her best friend..get it now? stay cool ~~Lavada~~ |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a good piece, but I must echo everyone else in saying that I'd like to see more! "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
I'm going to have to ditto Marilyn here. The idea used here was quite interesting, and with a little more details and working of the characters this could be most excellent. Definetly a great start though! A writer's soul is on paper etched. In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Well ya'll..what could I do to make it better? "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
guys..I really need help..How can I make this better???? "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
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