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Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2000-02-06 10:45 AM



  *this piece is a cross between a free style poem, and a stream of consciousness prose piece.  I wrote this in about a half and hour.  I admit that it is different and may not even compare to the other talent in here, but, I just wanted to post it anyways to get opinions on it.  Thanks!  


CONVERSATION WITH THE MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM OF A
BAR:


"What are you doing here, Melissa?
in this sleazy bar?
with these sleazy people?
I know that you and I are not best friends,
in fact, we're really not friends at all,
but, there are some things that I must say to you:
you should be at home reading a good book,
expanding your mind,
you should be with someone who loves you,
if only you could find him,
you should be anywhere but here.
Stop flirting with every man that passes your way
what happened to the shy Melissa?
who are you trying to fool?
now Melissa, you and I both know that you are not as
pretty as the other women here;
oh please, everyone knows that a bar is not the right place to meet the man of your dreams,
but, still, you keep hoping...and waiting,
wasting your time here,
because you can't seem to find him anywhere else.
Well, at least thank God for padded push-up bras,
black lace,
I agree, your almost non-existent breasts need a  lift,
oh, and remember in grade eight,
when the boys used to call you a pirate's dream
you know - a sunken chest,
okay, even you have to admit that is clever,
but hurtful just the same,
and remember the boyfriend who dumped you because he said that you were pretty and all and that your personality was great,
but, that your boobs weren't big enough,
well, what can I say, 15 year old boys are like that afterall;
okay cliche time: it's not you, it's him,
if only you really believed that.
Well, if I may offer some more advice,
a woman is a woman and will always be a woman regardless of her breast size,
afterall you don't walk around holding a ruler in your hand to judge men, now do you?
So, Melissa, what are you doing here?
that's right,
avoid the question,
lightly smudge the grey eyeliner for that sexy smokey effect,
nah, overdone,
well, since you're here, might as well add more eyeshadow,
wait, that's too much,
your face isn't a paint by number set, you know,
two words for you -
Aunt Carmen,
okay, okay, stop laughing;
pucker those lips -
Max Factor # 50,
burgandy red,
girl, you don't need to add more mascara,
your lashes are already too long as it is
and besides, you've already heard "are those your real lashes?"
too many times tonight,
like a broken record;
go ahead,
brush your long, dull brown hair
as if it will make a difference,
add more volumizing hairspray that you paid a fortune for,
it doesn't even work that well,
you hair is so lifeless,
yawn;
hey, maybe being a redhead would be more fun,
note to self: on the way home pick up one of those do it yourself hair dye kits at the drug store;
and, don't forget to spray on your new perfume -
lavender,
remember that you read in Cosmo that men are more
attracted to this scent,
but, you don't like it,
well, spray some more on anyway,
and don't forget to dab some on your neck,
it's not you that you have to impress,
or is it?
And since when do you wear skirts that short?
you obviously want the wrong kind of attention,
oh, I see,
you needed a change
oh, yes, now that's right
from being the cute predictable Melissa,
seems to me that you've been changing a lot lately,
but, is it for the better?
I see the way that you look at me,
like you are disgusted by the reflection,
like you ae thinking that this isn't the way my life should have turned out, I deserve better kind of look,
well, Melissa, my dear, you are the navigator aren't you?
Do something about it.
Okay, yes, you are often shy and nervous and scared,
that does stand to be a problem,
but, often at times courage comes by being afraid of doing something, but doing it anyway,
just some food for thought -
but, what do I know,
you hardly ever listen to me anymore.
Did you see that blonde that just walked by?
does she ever make you look like a little girl,
there's your competition,
don't most men go for blondes anyways?
Okay, now stand back from the mirror,
your hips are too rounded,
who ever said that an hourglass figure was all that great anyway,
and I didn't know that your butt was so big?,
that's it,
tomorrow, your diet starts,
can you say rice cakes and salads for the next month?
hurry up,
they're playing your favourite song,
stop stumbling,
Mom always said that "a lady should never get drunk,"
well, she's not here,
what she doesn't know can't hurt you, right?
oh, is that your philosophy now?
oh yes, I see, you're here to have a good time,
not to play saint, right?
well, in the morning, you will regret the way you have acted;
too bad that your character went out the window when you had your, how many was it, your fourth beer?
pop a breath mint to masque the beer,
no, pop in two, just in case;
suck in that stomach,
don't forget to walk sexy in those heels of yours,
damn this blister;
that's it, next life, I'm a man,
yeah right -
joke of the day;
put on a smile,
ignore the lonliness;
what happened to your dreams, hmmm?
what happened to the girl who vowed to never act a certain way just so that people would like her?
You used to be strong, and sweet, and intelligent;
what happened to you?
So, really what are you doing here, Melissa?"
and I leave the bathroom,
unanswered,
with the door swinging hollowly shut,
and return to the masquerade at the bar.


By Melissa Honeybee  

© Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 2000-02-06 04:55 PM


WoW!
Now, first, I will admit that I din't care for the formatting too much. I know that was the intention, but I had too difficult of a time following the jerky pattern. It made me want to reread each line twice, and even sometimes jump up a few!
But... the thought behind this is fantabulous! A very creative glimpse into the mind of a person! You had me feeling alternatingly sorry, then dumbfounded at the character. I empathize with much here, though I am viewing it from the perspective of the opposite gender!
I think it's a sad statement to know that the likelihood of there actually existing someone who's thought processes would follow this is fairly high.
Society does put an extreme emphasis on the relation between physical appearance and self-worth. It implies, well almost blares out, that if women do not match to some idealistic model image, then they aren't worthy of being considered beautiful. If a woman weighs more than ten tothpicks, she's fat. If she's less than six feet tall, she's short, (which of course leads to stocky.)
In other words, it is MORE likely to find someone feeling this way, than to find someone not feeling this way.
Anyway, I've blabbed enough.
Great job Melissa and welcome to Passions In Prose!

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2000-02-06 04:56 PM


Oops, already welcomed you!
So I take the second welcome back!!
J/K...for the creativity of this piece, you certainly deserve a second welcome!

Geo
Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 73
Nebraska
3 posted 2000-02-06 07:42 PM


Well done Melissa! I will never walk by a ladies lounge in a bar and think the same again!! HA Enjoyed this tremendously! Cant wait to read more from you!!
sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
4 posted 2000-02-07 02:18 PM


great job Mel...i've never walked into the girl's bathroom of a bar, but i have in college..i stand there and have a conversation with myself...well..never again..I'm gonna be me and no one else!   thanks mel...loved the prose!

 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to here it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin

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