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Butterfly
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Butterfly |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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BUTTERFLY I wish I knew how it felt to stand before my bedroom window, touch my hand to the inviting glass, and leave this caterpillar body. I wish I knew, I wish I could know how it felt to escape this sickly skin, to fly beneath the heavens, to be careless, to soar. I wish I knew how it felt for emptiness and ugliness to seep out of my tired veins to be replaced by beauty and ecstasy. I wish I knew how it felt to hear the first morning song of the lustrous red-breasted robin, nestled in the trees, like a musicbox playing a passionate melody in my newborn ears. I wish I knew how it felt to suckle on the dew from the white breast of a rose, flowing like liquid poetry on my tongue. I wish I knew how it felt to be lured by the sweet, exotic fragrance of a peach stained blossom, feeling it's silky layers engulf me in it's love. I wish that I could embrace the magnificence of feeling magnolia leaves gently caressing my glorious wings, like God's fingertips to the golden strings of a harp, brushing softly against the palette of my colours. I wish I could feel the mist of the cloud's tears, trickling down from the deep blue sky to dance upon my face. I wish that I knew how it felt to be greeted by the warmth of the crimson yellow sun and by the chill of the wind, penetrating my long spine. I wish I knew how it would feel for my slender body to marinate in the wide open air - to glide. I wish I could ingest the crispness of the autumn air above the clouds, grand and marvelous the rapture. I wish I could know how it felt to journey to the ends of the earth to find glory and peace, forevermore, where pain and sorrow and lonliness no longer exist. I wish I could know how it would feel to digest freedom, I wish I knew how it felt to be free; ever graceful, as a butterfly. By Melissa Honeybee  |
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| © Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Wow! Loved the imagery in this one, certainly a grand piece. I could almost sense everything and float on a summer breeze! If I can suggest one thing, maybe a couple paragraph breaks to make it easier to read? Otherwise, Wonderful < !signature-->In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons [This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 02-01-2000).] |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
What a fabulously wonderful writing. My heart was caught in my heart from the emotion of what you portrayed with your words. Beautiful!! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Sigh... Big grins and a hearty welcome from me!!! There is some wonderful imagery here, and it set an interesting tone with the "I wish" repetitons! Well done, I look forward to more! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thanks Dusk Treader,Childomine and Christopher for taking the time out to read my piece and to reply to it. And thank you so much for the compliments, I am blushing. It really does mean a lot to me. Thanks Christopher for welcoming me. And Dusk Treader, I agree with you, it does need paragraph breaks, thanks for the suggestion. I wrote this piece in 15 minutes, I am not usually that fast, but the words just poured out of my pen onto paper. I am sure that you can tell that I am the caterpillar hoping to become a butterfly, that's why I use the "I wish" lines often. Yes, it can become monotonous, but, i feel that it is used effectively. Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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