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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN

0 posted 2000-01-25 11:19 PM


Horror lay over the temple like a pall.  No man in full control of his faculties drew near its onyx walls.  The stories circulating beyond the walls were enough to bring nightmares to the most skeptical mind.  And it was with horror exuding from every pore in my body that they brought me, clapped in shackles of steel, to the iron gates of that temple.  

My eyes took in every detail as if that detail would be the last to burn it’s image upon my mind.  The vast height of the gate, smooth iron of a dark hue studded with rivets soared into the ominous ebony sky.  Lining the great archways was a contrasting trim of white, the bleached white of human skulls from whence their empty sockets the crimson light of candles blazed forth.  The walls were adorned at intervals by steel spikes and by some eerie trick of the candlelight appeared to be covered in blood.  

The captain of my guard approached the gate and removed his black helm and held it by the blacked red horns and drew his swords.  He flourished his sword in a salute, and bellowed in harsh voice to some unseen guard, “Throw open thy gates in the name of Tzimak, we command entrance to the temple as we have found the cursèd one!”

“The cursèd one?” I marveled.  How could a simple librarian as myself be a “cursèd one?” But my thoughts were abruptly silenced as a graveled voice descended from on high.

“In the name of Tzimak you have bidden entrance, and so in his name you will be permitted to enter.  Bring the accursèd man before our God, for he hath bidden this!” and with that the gates swung ponderously open.  The sounds that issued forth from within the walls immediately brought to mind a charnel house; shrieks hung in the air to be quenched with unnatural speed, the hiss of glowing iron and bubble of hot oil sent shivers up my spine.  

And the drums!  Those drums I so hated beating unendingly like some vast heart, deep and strong were their sound, pulsating to my core.

Now my captors began dragging me towards the yawning maw of doom, to be swallowed forever.  A stale wind moaned from the temple, bringing with it the smell of blood and of rotted flesh, and of human waste.  My head swam at this assault at my nostrils, and though I could barely stand, the guards kept up an inhuman steady pace, undaunted by the horrid stench.  

I closed my eyes and steeled myself to the miasma as the guards dragged me within.  When the shrieks of the wretched surrounded me and I could feel fire’s kiss upon my skin I opened my eyes.  

Before me lay a scene of such indescribable horror that it shall never leave the vaults of my mind.  Fires burned everywhere giving a scarlet cast to the room and it’s occupants.  Glowing rods of iron were heating within the sourceless flames and others were held in the hands of black robed priests who wielded them with vicious cruelty.  Desiccated human forms hung shackled to the onyx walls, or strapped to iron tables, some affixed with machinations to slowly rip a man in two.

Horror raged through my body as I was dragged bodily towards a massive idol lording over the center of the temple.  Of white marble was it carved, a startling contrast to the macabre scene of the temple.  The idol’s great bat-like wings soared upwards into obscurity, and its arms and legs though well muscled, were surmounted by crimson tinged claws.  Onyx bones broke through the marble skin giving the idol a chaotic appearance.  In its right hand was a sword dripping with blood and in the other a human head, its face twisted in grotesque horror.  

The feature the eyes were drawn to was the face.  The idol’s face was smooth and eternal, beautiful beyond any words, seeming to be sculpted so it would be the image of the perfect female.  Pure white hair, scarlet tipped, flowed around the perfect face, and one could swear it moved in the stagnant temple air.  The most entrancing feature was the eyes, oh damn those eyes!  An azure blue they were, like the sky on a bright summer noon.  Hard as ice were those eyes, not a glimmer of compassion lingered behind them, only rage and madness danced in their depths.  

The guards threw me at the foot of the great idol and made a half circle around me with unsheathed swords.  The two azure orbs of the idol turned slowly in their marble sockets until they became fixed upon me.  As the eyes fixed my gaze, grating of rock could be heard, and the mouth opened and the idol spoke as if from a great distance:

“Accursèd one!  Oh how loathsome thou art to my sight!  My judgement hath been rendered, thou shalt be placed upon the rack, and suffer it’s horrible fate!  The accursèd one you may be, but death may still come upon thee!”

Crushing pain ran through my skull and then I fell heavily to the earth and my vision blacked.

**********


I came awake upon cold steel, my arms were shackled to the table above my head and my feet shackled to the table’s corners.  Around me were clustered several hooded and robed figures, priests of Tzimak, and fear was in their eyes when I looked in them, but a bold determination also.  

One of the priests loomed over me, a burning iron in his hand and smile playing over his cruel features as he drives the rod into my thigh.  

I shrieked in agony as fiery lances of pain arc through my leg and up into my torso.  I throw back my head banging it into the iron table as the iron is removed and my scream faded.  I look down my body to the steaming wound, and find not a drop of blood, the wound had been cauterized, to my amazement.  

My amazement was brought short as another spear of burning iron was driven through my arm.  A shriek again sprang unbidden to my lips, and as the pain tore through me, I fell into unconsciousness.  

**********


When I again awoke I found myself again upon cold steel, but now I was upright, and my chin rested upon my chest.  The priests were again my only company in this place of horror, but to my relief the iron rods and fire were no where to be seen.  My tired mind wondered what torture they had contrived for me now.  

Wonder I no longer did as I looked through the metal grate below and in front of me at the putrid blood and gore rotting in the vast pit me.  I was petrified with terror with that sight; I was the next sacrifice to the idol of Tzimak.  

One of the priests drew from the voluminous sleeves of his robe a heavy, gleaming dagger.  The priest advanced upon my with a slow stately pace, intoning the sacrificial rites in the ancient language of the Followers of Tzimak.  The dagger caught my eyes as the scarlet light fell on the glittering length of blade.  

With a precision brought on by practice, the priest, who was now directly in front of me, carved the symbol of Tzimak over my heart.  I could feel that symbol burning upon my breast as blood flowed down my chest to drip slowly on the stone chamber floor to trickle into the vast pit.  I struggled to evade the knifepoint as the priest began to dig deeper but was shocked when I saw the priest drop his blade upon the onyx floor.  

Then I felt it too.  The chamber seemed to be vibrating, resonating to some unknown note.  The priest, and all of his kith in the temple fell upon their faces and worshipped the idol.  I turned to look upon the idol, and was horrified by the visage of white marble.  The sapphire eyes were no longer covered in a haze of madness and arrogance, but were clear and bright.  And they were frightened!  “What would give a god cause to be frightened?”  I wondered.  

As the vibration increased and the very temple seemed to vibrate, my bindings came loose and I managed to slip my hands free.  I bolted from over the sacrificial pit and headed towards where I thought the exit was.  I was stopped halfway to the great iron gates as a piece of falling stone crashing onto my head with a crushing impact.  And my world faded to black.

**********


When I awoke, I felt different, it seemed I had no substance and boundless energy, like I could run, skip and fly without limit.  And then below me I saw a body lying in a pool of blood, worried I looked down and tried to roll him onto his front, but to no avail, I could get no purchase.  That was when it hit me, this was my body.  Shocked I drew back and found myself several feet higher in the air.  I glance around nervously, and I found the temple in chaos around me.  

Huge blocks of onyx fell from the ceiling to crash onto the floor in an explosion of minute shards.  These shards sliced down the Priests of Tzimak, and others are killed by the impacts of the onyx meteors.  Some Followers, hoping to avoid the pain, threw themselves in the fires unquenchable.  

And then my eyes fell upon the idol.  It’s eyes rolled in terror as her followers were slain before her eyes and the temple was being laid to waste.  As the idol’s eyes cast frantically about, my eyes focused on a point of light directly before the idol, a pinprick that split the earth and from out of the crevasse came a figure.  He was strong, skin of whitest alabaster with muscles taut beneath his gleaming skin, but most astounding were the great wings spreading from his shoulders, reaching heavenwards and making him seem vast in size.  

Now when the idol’s eyes fell upon this beautiful being it’s entire countenance twisted into a mask of horror and the shriek of grinding stone was heard through out the temple.  And then the winged entity drew a gleaming sword of white and drove it through the left eye of the idol, and a blinding flash of white assailed my eyes…

When the light faded and the blindness fell from my eyes, I could scare believe that I was still in the same place.  The temple lay in ruins around me, and the eternal blanket of sooty black clouds had withdrawn revealing clear sapphire skies beneath.  Sun fell brightly upon the earth and reflected darkly off the remaining shards of onyx littering the ground.  

As my eyes cast over the destruction they at last came upon a heap of crushed white marble, and upon the mound rested two glittering stones of deep, pure blue.  And as I watched that beam of light I had seen once before sprang up from the earth.  And the winged being stood before me again in each of his hands he held an azure stone and he faced me with his eyes locked upon mine.  His eyes were golden in hue and seemed to go straight to my soul, penetrating my masks and laying my soul bare.  

After he held me in his piercing gaze for what seemed like hours, he spoke in a solemn whisper, “Anointed one, we have awaited you, as I was awaited, and as all who shall come will be awaited.  Thy blood flowing upon the bosom of our mother has summoned me to give thee aid, and I have come, and now you are to be remade, if you so choose.  Thy other choice is thy oblivion, and not even the restless wandering of the human soul shall be bestowed upon thee.”

When fronted with a decision like this, I found it not hard to make.  Upon telling the winged being my answer I felt a strange feeling in my shoulders.  I could only describe as the feeling one has when he stretches a muscle.  When I looked over my shoulder I saw plumed wings of white originating from there and I turned in shock to my winged visitor to find him sinking into the earth.  And to my shock I found myself sinking also.

After a great time of descending a gleaming city of gold was spread before my eyes. Fountains tinkled on all the street corners and great lawns of green covered everything but the gleaming boulevards of gold.  I closed my eyes and took a deep blissful breathe of air, and I felt different… complete.

**********


Shrieks echoed in the dim recesses of the cave, but light blazed forth from my sword as I plunged it into the netherworld shadow.  I turned to look at the glittering cloud over the body lying in a pool of glistening blood, and smiled, remembering a day so long ago as to be time out of mind, and I sank into the earth to await my next summons…

< !signature-->

 In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons




[This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 01-25-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
1 posted 2000-01-25 11:38 PM


Phenomenal, Abrahm!  What a scene you paint with your exquisite words.  I felt like I was there, in that horrid place, right with your character.  Great work, keep it up my friend!  

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha


Asparagus
Junior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 10
Australia
2 posted 2000-01-26 05:13 AM


Hey, great work. I am not really into sci-fi, nonfiction pieces such as these, but this one i am definatly into. Great work, i really enjoyed it. keep it up!
Em

Ruby dagger
Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76
Wyoming, MN, U.S.A
3 posted 2000-01-26 10:43 PM


WOW! you are so good in your details. I love your stories.

(By the way,Asparagus, it's fantasy and not Sci-fi, no they are not the same)


 Luv ya

Kelly

Love breaths when you're out of breath,
Love sits by the bedside when you're near to death,
and Love still feels it when the feelings gone,
Love lives on and on.
Love is the right place. -Bryan White

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
4 posted 2000-01-26 11:01 PM


Thank you all for replying!

Krista - You're much too kind  

Asparagus - I'm glad you enjoyed it even if  it isn't your thing.  (And it is fantasy, btw  )

Kelly - You're such a sweety, I enjoyed the compliments  

Thank you all again!  


 In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons



Asparagus
Junior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 10
Australia
5 posted 2000-01-27 06:47 AM


Oh I'm so sorry. I feel really bad now for calling your piece sci-fi instead of fantasy.
It's pretty obvious though that I don't normally read FANTASY, cause i didn't even know the proper name! I'm sorry! How about i rave about your fantasy story now, to make up for my sillyness? Wow! That was such a great story. I loved your attention to detail, and the way you contrasted beautiful images with not so beautiful images (ie ebony sky, covered in blood). I take a particular fancy to indepth description, and that's why i like this piece. And i am not making all this up just so i can get back in your good books   I actually mean it and hope you don't think worse of me for writing this! I'm sorry again

Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
6 posted 2000-02-12 10:42 PM


Yay for ABe!  I love it!

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2000-02-13 12:54 PM


Hey Abe, if you keep pouring them out at this rate I willnever be able to get back to you with htem...lol. I loved the story, you put a lot of detial into it and it lived in my head. There are a couple of places that I was confused and had to read the sentence over in order to get the meaning. If you would like more detail, let me know. I will e-mail a more in depth critique to you.

Great job my friend.  

JennyLee
Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.
8 posted 2000-02-13 04:17 PM


This was fantastic...I love fantasy stories...this one is impeccable. Thanks for the read  


Jennifer

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
9 posted 2000-02-14 09:55 AM


How do you do it Abe?! Writing FANTAStic stories like this??? I wish I was that good



stay cool Abe

~~Lavada~~

 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin


Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
10 posted 2000-02-15 08:49 PM


  

   Dusk Treader:

    I have always loved fantasy, and I was very pleased with your tale.  You have quite the imagination and it is evident in the details, descriptions and words that you use to draw the reader in.  Excellent piece.  I felt as though I were the character in your story, now that's impressive when the writer, such as yourself can make the reader feel as though they are a part of the tale. Applause!

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee  

poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
11 posted 2000-02-18 04:30 PM


dusk treader: stirring, vivid, imaginative, and masterfully crafted... this is the first of your workds that i've read and i'm really quite impressed... i'll keep an eye out for future posts by you

sincerely,
jerome the melancholy priest

 Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
--[billy corgan]--

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
12 posted 2000-02-19 05:04 PM


Thank you all for your kind responses, they really mean a lot to me  

Cassie - Thanks and a big Yay for the NINJA!

Marilyn - Thanks again for the offer of help, that's really appreciated.  

JennyLee - Thank you for your kind words.. I don't know if you'll see this, but if you do, know that you'll be missed around here.

Lavada - LOL, I don't know how I does it, I just does it.  Keep practicing, keep writing, keep thinking!

Melissa - *blushes* Thank you very much for your response, what a compliment!  

Jerome - Thank you for your reply and kind words.  Hopefully we'll see you around here more often!  


 A writer's soul is on paper etched.

In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. --
Abrahm Simons



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

13 posted 2000-03-03 12:11 PM


Great writing, DT! Even though I am not much for prose I did enjoy this very much!

Denise

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