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no title (suggestions please)
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no title (suggestions please) |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV 
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I looked around, knowing they were aware of my trembling, but there was nothing I could do about that, I was far more worried about the teardrops streaming down my cheek. Steven never knew that he’d hurt me so bad by doing such a thing. He always thought I’d have a friend to fall back on, but he was wrong. All the people I call my “friends” only hurt me. I stand here, in disbelief that he was blind to my pain. I thought I’d finally found someone that would understand, until he ran off leaving me to go on alone. “Steven, where are you, now that I'm happy? Now that I'm no longer alone, now that I have a shoulder to cry on, now that I have someone to confide in?” He’s always been therefor me, he was even there the day you tore my heart in two. It’s only been a few short weeks since you said goodbye. My friends have said that when he came back into my life, tru happiness shown through. They relized that the happiness I showed before was nothing but an act. I am the great actress, before they saw the look on my face when I was in his arms. I now know why so many people look to their past for happiness, because you don’t realize true happiness until its past. And now, I would like to thank you Andrew, you made me see true happiness, before I lost it completely. I see now that in your arms is where I belong, not in some “stranger’s” arms. When I laughed, you were there to smile with me, when I cried, you were there to comfort me. They tried to keep us apart, but look at us, now. My heart holds so many secrets, but on June 6, 1999, I let one out that just might change the rest of my life. Andrew, I loved you then, I love you now, I always have, and I always will i wrote this in about 5 mins, so be gentle  *how was i to kno that today id meet someone like you? how was i to see the light with him in my path and you too far to touch?* |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tamma M. Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Gentle...What is there to be gentle about? How can someone criticize what someone feeels? |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Great explosion of feeling. I can't really suggest a title that deserves to head a piece of writing like that. Sorry. I'll keep thinking though.  |
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Nagemx Junior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 14 |
That was great. I read your other comments, and it's true, how can you criticize what someone feels? If it were up to me, I'd call it "Crush", because I like short, powerful titles for short, powerful pieces. Don't stop writing! Never regret |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
How could I spend more time on a critique than you took in writing this? All I'll say now is "good raw material." I'm sure I'll be pleased to read what comes out of the crative mill at the other end, some days down the road, when you've turned raw feelings into art. |
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