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Tossed To The Wind
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Tossed To The Wind |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow 
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(This is a story I have started to write it is not finished yet but I wanted to share and get thoughts on it.) Tossed to the wind Can you sit before the moon and feel me whisper your name? Your beauty entwines my every thought, from the moment I saw you glide across the dance floor like a wind swept flower petal on a starry summer night. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what your image would do to me. Since that delightful evening I have been entranced, I see light where darkness danced, I hear music where there once was silence, I feel inspiration as I awake each morning with the harmony of nature. I came into this world fighting to survive, every shallow breath I took was a miracle. They found me abandoned in a brown paperbag on the side of this winding road only a few hours old. A mere four pounds and stricken with Down's Syndrome the doctor's held little hope. The Carrington's who are the people who found me stayed by my side praying and caressing my tiny hands. Every moment that passed the doctor's were amazed that I was still taking breaths, never mind I was actually gaining strength. The woman who gave birth to me threw me to the wind, but the love of strangers gave me life. When I finally crossed that bridge of survival the next hurdle was who would be my parents. The Carrington's who found me and shared their love expressed interest in adopting me, problem was my disability. They were in their twenty's only married for a couple of years, and not established with a healthy income. They found it hard to believe all the expectations for one to love and rear a child with a disability. What they had to prove to become my parents was outrageous considering I was tossed to the wind by the lack of love, and here's love that has to prove it's capable. They finally succeeded in adopting me, well actually being my foster parents, cause they can't adopt me officially till they find my birth mother and she gives up rights. What a joke that is, she should have no rights after tossing me to the wind without a care. The Carrington's gave me love and helped me learn, they decided to call me Gabe. After five years of living and learning as much as they could teach me I was enrolled in school with the special children class. I was a bit slower then most children my age, and they would tease me saying I'm a dummy. I would cry and beg them to understand, but they would just shove me around calling me a dummy baby. I started to withdraw from the friend scene, I'd rather be alone then have friends like them. My parents always showed me love and kindness, they made me feel important in their lives. Now that I was ten years old I wanted to give so much back to them for their faith in me, so one day while I was at school I went to see the music teacher to ask her if she could teach me to sing, see my Dad was in a band and he played beautiful music. I thought that if I learned how to sing we could work together, and my voice could be a gift to his music. The teacher seemed reluctant to answer my question, so I asked her "if I did not have a disability would you be willing to teach me?" Without hesitation she just reached out her arms and hugged me. Then she said, "I'd be honored to help you recognize a talent I know you have hiding inside just waiting to escape." She made time in her schedule to squeeze me in for daily lessons. I looked forward to my time with her each day as I found a part of me that truly was hidden but able to be recognized. Each day I became more confident in my ability to actually use my voice to sing. One day my teacher asked me if I'd be interested in being in a musical the school was going to have. I was insecure about committing myself for fear of the other children in the musical. I did not want to look like a dummy, but the teacher told me she wanted me to try for the lead part, and I felt so honored I could not say no. I went home after school and thought about this opportunity, I couldn't believe I would be capable to play a lead role, yet I thought how proud my parents would be. I became excited and couldn't wait for my audition. I decided I would go outside today and brag about my audition cause I was so happy. I came back home crying, how could they be so mean, how could they just laugh and think I was joking? I just did not understand, I started to doubt my ability to get the role anyway, so I pretended to be sick for days missing the audition day at school. My parents became worried, they thought I was really sick, so I had to tell them I was sad, I never told them about the mean stuff that the kids called me, I didn't want them to feel bad for something they could not control. They asked why I was sad, I just cried I could not speak. They just hugged me and told me they loved me so very much, and they felt sad when I was sad. That night while we were eating supper the doorbell rang, dad opened the door my music teacher stood there and introduced herself, "hi I'm Miss Crandell Gabe's music teacher, I came by to see how he is doing, and to see if I could speak with him." My dad welcomed her into out home and had her sit on the couch where I came to join her. She handed me 6 sheets of paper and told me I needed to practice the songs and the lines that were written on these pages. I was confused and said, "I did not audition how can you give me this to do?" She told me she knew I had the part right from the beginning audition or not. She told me I was an inspiration for her and that I would be an inspiration for the school and the audience. She hugged me then stood up and headed for the door, she turned to my parents and stated, " I look forward to seeing you at the school on the 15th," then she walked out the door. I knew my parents were confused now cause I never told them about this either, I wanted it to be a surprise in the beginning when I was so excited about it, so now I had to explain the whole situation. They felt the same way my music teacher did, they knew I could do it. I was still scared, these were adults who saw me in a different way, but what about classmates and the rest of the school, I was different and that made it easy for them to dislike me. What if I trip on my lines, what if I sing off key? I had my doubts and that was scaring me sick, I wanted to please my parents and my music teacher, but how do I get past these insecurities that haunt me? I went to my room with the six pages I needed to study, I knelt before my bed and called out to God. I asked for his strength and thanked him for giving me the people who love and trust in my abilities. I also prayed that he would forgive the children who make fun of me and help them realize I am human just like them, just a little different. When I finished my prayer I felt like someone removed an anchor from my shoulders, I felt invigorated, I felt special. I studied every hour I was awake, I could actually envision myself on that stage performing, I knew I could take this part in the musical and make it me. I was gonna give it 100% no matter what, I was inspired. They had five scheduled practice dates for after school and then rehearsal for the day before the musical. I showed up for the first practice date fully inspired and everything memorized. This was the first time that everyone else in the musical found out I had the leading role. Once again I was saddened by their reaction, how did a retard get the lead role? I can't play opposite a retard, we're all gonna look like retards. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide, but all I could do was cry. Miss Crandell's face turned angry she screamed, "if you can't work opposite from someone a little different from you yet with much more talent then any of you possess then please do remove yourselves from this musical, for we have no room for that type of attitude here now or in the future." I looked up and saw tears streaming down Miss Crandell's face, I got up went over to her, took my hand to her face to wipe the tears, I said "Don't cry they just don't understand, God hasn't reached them yet." Miss Crandell looked down at me smiled and said "I wish God had reached me many years ago." I had no idea what she was referring to, yet figured she must have been mean to someone in her past and now she regrets it. I sat back down waiting and wondering what will come of this musical, the girl playing the supporting role came over to me and apologized for her unkind words, then she hugged me and told me I had so much more talent then her by far. I told her I did not think so, but I just wanted to give something back to all those who have loved and cherished me. I saw a tear run down her cheek as she walked over to Miss Crandell, I heard her apologize to her and offer to still play opposite me if she could. Miss Crandell nodded yes, that made me glad. Everything else fell back together so our practice began and went great for the first day. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
And she begs..."Give me more" Wonderful story...can't wait to see more of it  |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
(and a misty-eyed me swallows the lump in my throat ...) Bless you for writing such a lovely piece -- I have a cousin with Down's syndrome named Jennifer, and she is just as bright as sunshine. Easily the kindest and most loving person I know -- and the beauty of it is, every bit of it is genuine. There is no room in her "disabled" mind for pretense ... Please, PLEASE share the rest of this with us -- and when you do, my ICQ is listed, please send me the URL! Thanks! Smiling broadly, --Kess< !signature--> Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 01-22-2000).] |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Excellent tale, let me get a kleenex for my eyes. Wonderful, just wonderful, I hope you post more, I'd certainly love to read it. In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Hoot,Skyfyre,Dusk Treader, Thank you all so very much, this is my first attempt at writing a story and that's why I wanted to find out how I was doing, sounds like I should continue so I guess my story will continue. As soon as I get enough written I will post for you. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Do continue, do! |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
How in the world did I ever miss this piece? Thankyou Gloria for sending me the url. This is an excellent story, I can't wait for more.  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Gloria, this is wonderful! You are definitely a very talented writer!! Denise |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Will you ever stop to amaze me ? This is GREAT ! **running off to read part two...... |
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Mellon Collie Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49united states of america |
dear lost dreamer, quite beautifully stirring piece i'll leave my full impression at the end of part II. sincerely, the beautiful freak |
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