»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
what i wrote today
| Passions in Prose |
|
what i wrote today |
|
Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV 
|
I sit here, about to cry, they stare at me, unable to understand why the tears fall. The pain was completely hidden, as well as my heart, until he told me I could trust him. He said he loved me. I showed him my pain, hoping he would understand, but instead, he left me. I stood there, and the tears fell. Hes now with her, and its killing me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Androphobia Love hurts, I know it does, but is it really supposed to leave scars? I never thought it should, that’s why I am no longer in his arms, where he says I should be. We are no longer together for a good reason, he stole something from me. He stole my trust for all men. He left me unable to show my heart to anyone. I opened it to him, and he laughed, told me I was stupid for fearing men, which I still fear, even farther more, now. He caused my phobia of men to gain strength, and leave me in the dark, away from anyone that could possibly love me. I've hidden my heart, but now, I can't help, but let it show. He knows this is hard on me, but I must let myself out. I will need his help, but how can I let him know that this means so much to me? I know I must. If only it were as easy at it seems. Would he, could he ever understand? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ok, so i didnt write this one today, but i still like it  I gave and gave, until I had nothing, only he saw it the other way around. Mascara smeared, running down my cheek, for what I had before him will never be refound. As I write this now I cannot bare but to let a tear leak down my cheek. For tomorrow will be another upsetting day. My past is a secret forever hidden. No one knows, no one will listen. The sound of children in the distance reminds me of a certain aspect of my past, of which, no one cares. The memories are coming back and slapping me in the face. Tomorrow’s date: September 10th, will bring back so many memories, both good as well as bad. I can feel the tears, they’re on their way. My life, slowly ending. All I ask is to die in his arms. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I’ve heard the words so many times before, and they never had meaning until I overheard him saying them. They mean nothing to anyone who won’t listen, but to those whom do they mean the world. I’ve heard other guys use those words behind my back, but never to my face. They never told me how they truly felt so all it was in my heart was a mystery in their heart. That I could never reach. Then when he said those words, my life changed in a flash, even the way I felt about him. How was I to tell him I felt the same? Maybe his feelings have changed, there’s now doubt that mine have. What am I to do? I'm just a girl that knows nothing of the word. How do I let him know? What about the pain, how do I let him know? I’ll tell him one of these days maybe. Does he really understand as much as he seems to? Ive thought of this for so long. This feeling of mine will confuse us both. But it has to be said; there’s no doubt that this feeling would never go away. With all these new thoughts, what am I to think? Maybe he will understand and I'm just overreacting, but is there any way for me to be sure? A kiss is a kiss but with love involved it’s much more. How shall it be known? I can just hide it inside. Just because I'm a girl doesn’t mean I understand love. I'm young and inexperienced in all that love involves. They should know I'm nothing more than a child wanting to be released. This is a mere glimpse of what I'm truly feeling. Love is an emotion I haven’t yet begun to deal with. I will know when it’s right and when it’s wrong. Though I’ve never felt love this strong before, I know I love him. Those words he speaks to me are mesmerizing. Every day I hear someone say he does while I'm nervous about my feelings what will he say if I tell him I love him to. I'm not sure how things are gonna go from here, I know what’s in my heart. And I can tell by the look in his eyes that he feels the same. The way he holds me just makes me want to never leave him. He has been there through everything now that I know how he feels how should I let him know how I feel? My baby’s gonna leave me unless he finds out. My feelings are the same. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ there are several versions of this one, but i promise ya, this one is one of my own You think I never listen but you told me not to drink at the party and…Daddy, I did what you told me, no drinks for my date or me. We took a sprite instead. I took care and thought of the ride home and of what you told me. We talked and laughed, and held each other tight. The others drank and laughed, when it was tyme to leave they could barely walk. But I walked right to my date’s car. When we were driving down the highway cars were swerving everywhere. Then one hit us from behind, I look around and hear sirens, I look over to my date and he’s long gone. So now I just sit and wait. The driver in the other car was drunk was what I overheard one of the policemen say. Drunk and walking while I'm stuck, unable to move. I over heard another policemen say it was her father. Daddy why did you drink when you told me not to, daddy, you drank while my date and I are paying the price. Daddy, I did just what you told me to, so why am I getting punished? Everything is going dark now, but I have just one more thing to say…Daddy, why, why are you drunk and walking while I'm sober and dyeing? |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Tamma M. Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Ouch. Sounds like a ough life you live! I hope you find it therapeutic to write out your thoughts, I know it helps me considerably! Welcome anyway! |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Tamma: Hi, and welcome .. OK, if this was just stress relief for you, an exercise to get all this stuff off your chest, then by all means, more power to ya! You have written of some of the things that I think we can all identify with in one fashion or another.BUT -- if you really want to present this a piece of prose rather than just a sort of journal entry, it could use just a bit of polish. For example, you might want to try to eliminate some of the choppiness of your sentences; try to vary them a bit more in length and you will find your piece much easier to read. Also, there were one or two spelling mistakes (as in "dyeing" rather tha "dying") which detract from the flow of the words. I would also like to see you choose one of the many topics you introduced here and develop it further -- each of them were interesting, but I was disappointed when I got to the end of one and moved on to something completely different!  Anyway, we're glad you're here -- and don't let my nitpicking discourage you, my bark is really worse than my bite (and I'm the meanest dog 'round these parts with my critiques! LOL). --Kess < !signature--> Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 01-22-2000).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
