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The Phony Computer Company
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The Phony Computer Company |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
The Phony Computer Company Come one, come all for a limited time we are offering the FASTEST computer on the market today for a guaranteed lowest price. One was carried in the car that broke the new speed record. Just as soon as another car can go faster, we'll sneak another one into that trunk too. You want RAM? It's got plenty of ram, we saw to that by attaching our computers to the largest male goat we could find. He could only carry about ten at a time with one on the bottom side. We're offering a limit supply of yellow ones this week. Off course you may think by the old operating system in our computers are out of date. Let me tell you, our old DOS version is faster then most windows. The parts and memory are cheaper too, not like those fancy one's everyone else is selling. We're including a free color monitor for all our color blind customers and everyone else who can't see the color we'll include a free color hammer. If you don't believe me come on over and I'll show you how bright color can really be. Right after I hit you on the head with one of our marvelous hammers. Of course our computers can be upgraded and with a little luck and a whole lot more money, they might even be able access the Internet. They even come with a special printer pencil which you can use on a piece of paper and copy what you see on the screen. Hurry this is a special limited time offer. All our computers can be shipped via U.S. mail and if they fall apart during shipment. We'll be glad to mail you off the instructions on how to put it to back together. Make your purchase before Y2k and will even guaranteed they will work before then. Better yet come on by! We're having a special on used 5 1/4 inch floppies at a price that's cheaper than most CD's. Trade in your new computer and we'll even give you ten percent off on one of ours. Order now because it's awful lonely and I’m feeling like the Maytag repair man, tried of looking at my partner who's my ugly wife. I got a whole garage full of computers. Don't be fooled by all those other computer companies promising you service. We won't promise you a damn thing. We're up front about what we sell. Believe me we aren't hiding anything. The facts speak for themselves. So come on over to the Phony Computers Company today. I'm just waiting for someone to load them off on. They're hot, just stole a whole bin full of them behind a school. Hurry these deals wont last forever. I may return them any day now. Your not going to find computers like these, I assure you. I had a hell of a time finding them myself. Trust me they will be antiques very soon, probably worth more then what you'll pay for them. So come on over. Don't walk, run you idiots. And for the first one stupid enough to come alone I'll even let him have my wife. Less-in she gives me away first. Who knows if there's enough takers we might even make it a contest. I'm at the dirt road just a mile past the dump, right behind the school. You know where these computers come from and if they're good enough for our children. Hell, they’re good enough for you. I got to go for now I think I see a sucker walking up the drive right now. Sure hope it's not that IRS man again. © 1999 Merlyn Hearn All rights reserved "If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing." --Kingsley Amis |
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| © Copyright 1999 merlynh - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Oh my my my....this is just too funny! Thanks for the laugh merlynh. I loved it. There's a couple of "computer stores" around here that are just like that lol. Thanks for the chuckles.  Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
LOL, you must have been stealing computers from our school! Be careful the villagers might do mob justice on you.. In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. |
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