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Ruby dagger
Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76
Wyoming, MN, U.S.A

0 posted 1999-11-25 01:19 AM



Distopia

A lone warrior, hurt and bleeding, lay on the battlefield full of carnage, until he thinks he has enough strength to pick himself up. When he raised his head he saw that he was not hurt as badly as those around them who were nearly dead or already there. There were healers running about trying to help those they could. Under his hand was his sword. As he picked it up he saw how bloody it was. His captain lay cold on the ground a few feet away.
He remembered how the captain gave his troop an encouraging speech promising a great victory celebration for them when they return. He never mentioned "If they return." The captain’s last words were, "Onward to Glory!" Unable to look at the captain anymore he turned his head and found more dead bodies, among them his brother. At that moment a flood of memories with his sibling rushed over his mind. When they were young the sword fights with sticks they had, how they both signed up for the King’s army at the same time. He looked up to his older brother for advise, and now his older brother lay on the ground dead, covered in blood.
The warrior now has enough strength to sit up and soon one of the healers comes by to check him out. "That’s one nasty bump you got there, but it saved your life." He looked up at him confused, "You must have gotten hit on the head with something hard and it knocked you out. The others on the battle field thought you were dead and left you there. If one of the enemy found you alive, you’d probably be dead. Well, good news is that most of this blood is not yours, you’re going to have a bunch of cuts and bruises though."
"How can that be? Did we win? How can I be the only one alive around here?" he asked.
"I don’t you that the enemy thought you were dead. Yes we won the war, but at a high price of lives. No you’re not the only one left alive, there are many other warriors alive and well, others not so well, but still alive." The healer replied. "I have others to tend to, walk to the tent over there and get some rest," he said as pointing to the makeshift hospital.
He got up and walked slowly toward the way the healer pointed. He looked at the bloody field full of bodies of both horses and men with great sadness in his eyes. "This is the glory of war."


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Luv ya

Kelly

I'm no different than the average girl, my dreams wrap around the world. -Rebecca Lynn Howard

© Copyright 1999 Kelly - All Rights Reserved
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
1 posted 1999-11-25 01:24 AM


I liked this Kelly, good story of the horrors of the battle field. You're description is improving greatly, you kept me reading throughout. Keep posting, dearheart!

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"'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape, from the life I live when I'm awake" - Creed - "Higher"



[This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 11-25-1999).]

merlynh
Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411
deer park, wa
2 posted 1999-11-25 02:14 AM


That's for the read I liked it. Hope to read some more of it.
Maverick Wolf
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 94
Scandia, MN
3 posted 1999-11-25 09:04 PM


Nice writing. Sounds like a tale from the Civil War.
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
4 posted 1999-11-25 09:55 PM


Definitely good work, Kell. Your description is improving quite a bit. Keep it up!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream....." ~Faith Hill: If My Heart Had Wings~



Ruby dagger
Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76
Wyoming, MN, U.S.A
5 posted 1999-11-25 10:18 PM


Thank you all for your kind comments. I was aimming for more of a rennisance type war, but oh well, the reader see's what he imagins.

------------------
Luv ya

Kelly

I'm no different than the average girl, my dreams wrap around the world. -Rebecca Lynn Howard

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
6 posted 1999-11-26 03:24 AM


Great reflection on the "glory" of war. Too often it is romantacized to the point where many find it attractive. Great job!
Deep Blue Me
Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 396
By a big lake
7 posted 1999-11-29 04:57 PM


The Glories of War. Or is it Gories? Got right to the crux of the external and internal scars of battle. The musings of the warrior are nicely stated.

DB

Ruby dagger
Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 76
Wyoming, MN, U.S.A
8 posted 1999-11-29 09:52 PM


All too often have young men gone off to war with the fantasy of being a hero. Thank you for your nice replies.

------------------
Luv ya

Kelly

I'm no different than the average girl, my dreams wrap around the world. -Rebecca Lynn Howard

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