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Redemption
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Redemption |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
August was epitomized by this day. Nearly 95 degrees in full sun, warm air whipping by filling the day with a myriad of smells that tantalized the mind, this did indeed capture one man's delight in the month of August. Delight of any kind was rare. It had been since he started sex offender's treatment three years ago. Thinking of that always brought him back to his crimes, not only the one they caught him for, all of them. Every angelic face floated behind open eyes that now saw the magnitude of harm done to them. It wasn't just his actions; it was what the system had done to his last victim. Victim, that was so hard to learn. The concept that the girls were victims stunned him when it all finally clicked into place. He had never thought of himself as a child molester, nor of the girls who seemed so willing as victims. He had learned otherwise. Treatment had taught him how his behavior had attracted and seduced fragile egos and minds. He learned exactly how he would seek out the vulnerable girls and win their trust. Once spelled out for him, it was easy to see the patterns he had. All people had patterns, which they used to attract a mate. Unlike most people, the pedophile's primary sexual orientation was towards children of a specific age group, race, and gender. It was just as specific as preferences for adult women were to men. That was also a hard concept to swallow. Pedophilia was a sexual orientation like homosexuality. That was what made treating pedophiles so very difficult. It was normal and natural for the pedophile to orient on children. As part of their make-up, it would be like trying to turn a straight man or woman into a homosexual; it would be against their nature. With a start, he came back to himself and decided to grab some lunch before heading home. He remembered there was a McDonald's right off the ramp at the Mount Holyoke College exit. "Why not?" He muttered to himself. It had been a while since he had a Mac attack, so figured he deserved it. He decided to go in and get his meal since the drive-thru was packed. Parking, he got out and locked his door. After a wait that seemed to take until Judgement Day, he finally got his Value meal and sat down to eat it. Like always, he felt self-conscious when out in public. Alone in public was far worse. He imagined there was a neon sign flashing over him that announced what he was to the world. "Was." He repeated almost like a mantra. That discomfort caused him to bolt down his food. Tossing his garbage and stacking his tray, he then headed for the Men's room. It was fairly clean he noticed as he absently locked the door behind himself. Just as he unzipped his fly, a sweet voice said, "I'm going potty mister." Turning to that voice, he saw a beautiful girl of about 5 or 6 years old sitting in the stall, pants tossed on the floor. Her jet-black hair shimmered and her eyes sparkled. Out of reflex he snapped the rubber band on his wrist hard, but even that short-term intervention failed to bring him to himself. Totally surprising himself, he hooked the door to the stall with his foot and pushed it shut. Sweat beaded on his brow as he set a new speed record for emptying a male bladder. After zipping up, he turned and popped open the door to the stall before quickly heading outside and getting in his car. Behind the wheel the shaking begins. The fact that he walked away from a perfect opportunity strikes him like a heavenly revelation, ending his shakes and an attack of guilt before it could begin. With that mood, he gets back onto the highway eager to share this victory with his wife. Especially with that meeting tonight. Debbie listened to his tale with shining eyes, a smile growing with each word he spoke to her. The love she held for him was evident in her every motion, from touching his hand when he started his tale to a crushing hug when his revelation was done. "That is exactly why you should come to the Community Notification meeting with me tonight. Being absent will only reinforce their beliefs. It will be harder for them to try and force us out if you are there." Debbie said this with enthusiasm. "I can understand why they wont want me here Deb. I would say the same if the situation were reversed. I just wouldn't feel right going. I don't feel right about you going." Those words echoed for a few moments before she said, "I believe in my husband. I have to speak on your behalf if you wont." "That is one reason I love you Deb. your faith in me. Why you love me, I have no idea." "I will be glad to give you more than an idea, when I get back." She said saucily. "Until then, don't be too hard on yourself. Save it for me." With that she bounced up, gave him a quick kiss and was out the door. Standing at the window watching people head down the street to the Phillips Neighborhood Center, he wondered how they would react to being told he had been here for two months already. The police were to notify the community a registered sex offender was moving into, 2 weeks prior to the move. They of course failed to do so. People threw occasional hard-edged glances at his side of the duplex as they walked by. The police tardiness would also be laid at his feet, at least the frustration over it would be. To keep his mind off of that kind of negative self-talk, he sat down and pulled out his plans for the spring garden he intended to have next year. He had already bought the patio block to line the walk with and the edging to place along the lawn. Now he had to decide what flowers went where. When they bloomed and the color scheme was another part of the puzzle that he used to rivet his concentration. Glancing at his watch, he noted that nearly an hour ago the meeting had started. He wasn't concerned for Debbie; she had grown up around the corner from here. Everyone knew her. Something was nagging at his mind. There was something that pulled him away from the sketches and lists he had been engrossed with. What was it? Looking back down at the table, he catches a faint whiff of smoke. Not the clean, sweet scent of fresh wood smoke, but the dead, chemical tainted stench of… FIRE! Immediately, he was up and over to the open window. His nostrils flared and caught a much heavier dose of that unmistakable reek. "Where was it coming from?" He thought urgently, scanning the dark for some sign of fire beyond the streetlights. There! Across and kitty-corner, three houses over! A flash and orange flicker in the living room window caught his attention. Immediately turning, he grabbed the cordless and dialed 911. With clear, concise tones, he told the operator the address then set the phone down without hanging up. He flew out the door on the heels of the memory that Marge and David Brance had 3 children and had gone to the meeting without them. Remembering some of his training from years ago, he grabbed the blanket Deb used to cover the holes in his favorite chair, as he went out the door. In a blink it seems he was at the door of his neighbor's house. Touching the doorknob he found it much warmer than usual. Praying to be both right and wrong, he turned the knob and opened the door to an inferno awaiting its birth. A pale blue haze clung low to a blackened carpet. Waves of dragon's breath blew heat into his face seeking to immolate his resolve before his body. Flames licked at the walls lining the staircase, from the kitchen came whimpering cries. Following that last observation he bolted the 6 feet and looked in the kitchen. A boy, about 12 years old was face down on the floor. Presumably his sister, about 8, was keening and shaking the boy. At that point, thought no longer entered into any of his actions. Scooping up the boy and girl, be zipped outside and deposited them on the ground. "Kelly is upstairs." The girl said this with a whispering voice. Vaguely noticing that people were running down the street and that sirens were in the air, he turned and ran back into the house. The inferno had been born, screaming its displeasure. Soaking the blanket in the sink, he draped it over himself and forced himself up the stairs, which were themselves blooming with fiery blossoms. Smoke came through even the cloth. Steeling himself, he dropped to all fours and crawled up the stairs under the smoke. Feeling his hands blistering gave him but a moments pause. The thought of all the children he had hurt came rushing into him. Finally his guilt could see a release. New determination fed oxygen to aching lungs as adrenaline fed strength to him. Ignoring spongy floors and dripping paint, he homed in on the uneven sobbing that assails his ears. Pushing through a door he was struck by the Blue's Clues theme of the room even as he saw a small girl on her bed huddled against the wall. "Come with me Kelly." He said gently. When she came to him, her innocence and beauty struck him. A more primordial desire soon took hold of him; the need to save this innocent drives him now. Taking the blanket from his shoulders, he wrapped her in it. Facing the now flame-filled stairway and unable to crawl while holding Kelly, he took the unreliable stairs three at a time. Trusting God to keep him from falling he focused on the door. He never felt his hair ignite nor his clothing. He never felt blistered skin erupt from the heat. When he staggered outside, new screams echoed in his head. Dropping to his knees, he also dropped the now dry blanket-wrapped Kelly on the ground. White fog from fire extinguishers enveloped them. Suddenly time picked up its pace for him. Two paramedics came to him. One looked ill for just a second then said, "Lay still sir. You have been burned badly but you know that. Shock is setting in. We need to work before you start to feel the pain." The other mouthed over him, "How can he be alive?" "A registered sex offender was apparently responsible for saving the lives of three local children today when their home caught fire. Interestingly enough, the parents of the children were at a Community Notification meeting about this same offender. Amongst those against allowing him to live in their community, they have refused comment. While all three children are now out of the hospital, their benefactor remains in critical condition and is not expected to survive. The neighborhood has also not decided on whether to officially protest his moving into their neighborhood." So much for redemption. ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 11-21-1999).] |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
A moving work DreamEvil, hearing it all from the point of the offender puts it a much better light. And you did an astounding job of putting it into his perspective. I enjoyed this. ------------------ "'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape, from the life I live when I'm awake" - Creed - "Higher" |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Whoa! This was a powerful telling my friend, full of heart, compassion, determination... and a touch of irony. I am awed by this particular piece, which shows the humanity of one whom most consider a monster. It was easy to read and full of just the right amount of information pertinent to the story. On top of that, you did a wonderful job of paragraphing and dialogue! A masterpiece! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Extraordinary piece, Scott. When you first told me you were writing a story from the pedophile's perspective, my response was "ick". Now, while parts of it do make me cringe, I can tell you that it's well written. I understand that pedophilia is an illness - and in my humble opinion, this story does not glorify your characters illness. I also understand the parents in the neighborhood wanting to protect their children. So I'm conflicted here. I don't think there is a reasonable solution. Pedophilia is a disease. It's wrong. It's terrible. But do we condemn a man forever, if he's served his time and been rehabilitated? Repeat offenders are common though and I would not want my child living near one. So, here I am...in a quandry. Do I root for the fictional character to live.. or do I hope he dies. I cannot hope the latter. And while what he did was commendable, I would still not feel comfortable with him living next door to my child. |
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
When I first started reading this story Scott.. it caused my stomach to clench, a mother's first reaction I suppose. But I was determined to read it and the message behind it that I was sure would be there. I am so pleased I did. Thought provoking my friend. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Scott...When I started this, I was initially revolted, especially at the bathroom scene. But, I'm really glad I kept up with this piece. It is an impressive piece of writing. You have put everything into perspective. The imagery, the news report, the final line...it all falls together to create an wonderful short story. You have displayed the unforgiving side of human nature so clearly for everyone to see. I am speachless at the talent displayed in this one. Wonderful!! Just found this quote...think it applies well: One ailment that antibiotics will never stamp out is premature formation of opinions. [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 11-22-1999).] |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I was a bit worried when I started to read this but you've told the story superbly.. HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I too was unsure it the begining of this piece. You brought it all together so wonderfully. The writing is fabulous. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Excellent writing! If you don't mind I did find a few mis-spelled words. But your story was very well written and I enjoyed the read very much! |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
fandamtastic DE. love it.. But if a molester got one of my kids he's not be moving... anywhere.. |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
I was worried when I first began this one , too, Scott, for obvious reasons...but it is a very well written and compassionate story. I think you should try redeeming yourself a little and post it at the cafe......thanks for sending me here....  |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
Thank you for sharing. Your writing is getting better every time I read it. Good job. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
As usual my friend, I am in awe of your abilities. It took me a while to get to this one, but overall I think it was worth the wait. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, extremely powerful piece here, Dream. Yeah, I surely can relate to the feeling of never being able to attone for one's sins...though mine may not be of as extreme a nature, the unforgiveness cast down by society is just as much a sin. So much for redemption, indeed. Michael |
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Deep Blue Me Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 396By a big lake |
That was wonderful, Scott. Tightly woven and cohesive. An incredible insight into the mind of this man. What a story! DB |
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