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Watcher666
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606


0 posted 1999-11-06 03:55 AM


I was surfing the web one night. Feeling a little lonely, not much on TV, you remember that, don't you? TV that dust old thing in your living room? OK back to the story. I had just finished reading my 3rd book of the day. I gothic romance novel, who's name I have long since forgotten, but the story I remember will. I have this habit of reading everything and retaining what I read. So as you can imagine I run out of books frequently.


I was in the midst of a brief and consuming love affair and thought to send my love a poem. Entered poetry into my search engine and what did I find, but Passions in Poetry. I fell in love from the start. All the reading I could ever want and new poems always being added, A read-a holic's dream! That was back in Febuary. They had a place to sign up and I did, Leelew was now a part of Passion's. I stayed mostly on the main page but eventually found the posting site. Although I read everything there, I never replied. I didn’t feel that I had the right to. After all what do I know about poetry?


Numerous hour where spent reading and sharing poetry. I had my parents moving in with me. Mom, had had a stroke and was getting more confused by the day and needed someone with her .It worked out well for all of us. I loved having them here and they loved being here. She dearly loved the poetry I'd print for her to read. But things never stay the way you would like them to. Mom got suddenly ill in April and died. I came to Passions for a sense of relief, and often found in the poetry a way to be at peace.


The next few months were amongst the hardest I've ever spent. Try to get over my grief, which I believe never happens, and trying to help my Dad with his. I work nights so most of my computer time is at night. One night while reading some poetry I get a random message on ICQ…"Hi…I think we have a lot in common". Great! I thought another fool who wants to cyber! But this turned out to be one of the most important people in my life. A genuine, caring and talented man that I am so proud to call my brother. It took me awhile to convince him, but he finally let me adopt him. He told me he wrote poetry and I mentioned Passions, he started posting here. He encouraged me to start replying, and I did. I spent many a night talking with him, and of course arguing with him (what else are sisters for!) about poetry and life.

My brother had already adopted one sister. At his request I too started talking to her. In her I found a gentle loving little sister. It's as if these two people, meet by chance have been part of my life forever. I know they always will be. We argue, disagree and squabble like any blood siblings you'll every see. But we do truly love one and other.


He introduced me to a new friend, several of them in fact. I'm not terribly outgoing I like to hide. This new friend wanted to know if I wrote. I laughed! Who me!?! Write poetry!?! I knew he was joking, but he was not. He demanded in his kind way that I write something. So I did. There was no way I could post it if everyone knew who I was. I would be to embarrassed! So we decided I need a new name, from this Dragon was born. I was writing and learning to improve and write better. I never knew I could do this. For whatever reason, Dragon excited. Lost its usefulness I guess. Unfortunately with Dragon went my ability to write. I still replied as Leelew, but not one verse came from my pen.


As much as I tried, I was afraid to post under my real name. One of my friends suggested using Dragoness. I liked it! I really liked it. I was writing again. The support I got from my brother and friends amazed me. I could express my emotions and try to get through this awful grieving I was still doing. I could see the world through another eyes while reading their thoughts and feelings. And I could still hide.
One night during a particularly bad night terror, I decided to write about this dream. I was up so I might as well torture the eyes of those in the forum. It was this piece of prose that my second brother was found. Funny witty and an incorrigible pup that he is. Seems my family was growing by leaps and bounds!


But all good things must come to an end. Through my own stupidity and the longing for a love of my own, I met the wrong person. Clinging, irresponsible and dangerous. After going to meet this person I decided it was not to be. The phone calls and messages never stopped. This went on for over 2 months. The final confrontation was online. Luckily my brother was online. I forwarded all the messages and replies to him. When we got into to the threats and I got scared he was there for me. This person decided to threaten the forums. I couldn't let that happen. He knew my name in the forums and I was afraid he would start to post some of his filth on my poems or those of my friends. I decided it was time for Dragoness to leave.


Of course I didn't want to leave the forums. I had found family, friends and some of the most beautiful poetry here. How could I leave? How could I not? So I chose a new name and Watcher666 was born. Now I'm taking a bit of a risk here. Although I'm fairly sure any danger to me is over from my stalker. I think it's a bigger risk to let you all know how you've been deceived. Dragoness has never truly left, nor has Leelew nor has Dragon. Their all me, or if you prefer I'm all of them.


Well so much for my convoluted tale .I am still here and hope to be here now as Watcher666 for a long time to come.And yes I do still read everything that’s posted. Just remember…….I'm watching!


------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.


[This message has been edited by Watcher666 (edited 11-06-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Watcher666 - All Rights Reserved
EnglishRose
Junior Member
since 1999-10-08
Posts 13

1 posted 1999-11-06 04:13 AM


well done sis, this was real good,,

------------------
"A Rose by any other name..."

Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
2 posted 1999-11-06 11:28 AM


Hey, the identity revealed! Nice way to do it too.

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 1999-11-06 03:46 PM


Wow! Watcher this is quite a story. I have counted on you since I started posting to Passions. If no one else replies, you usually do-- kept me a few times from the humiliation of carrying 0 before my name. Thankyou for being such a faithful reader. If you need another sis--How about me?
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
4 posted 1999-11-06 04:25 PM


I had already figured you out by going to your websites, but did not know the story behind it till now. I pray your terror is over and would like to thank you for your diligent effort to respond to all us addicts here at Passions, you are definetely a better person then I for I try but cannot succeed in the task.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

5 posted 1999-11-06 06:53 PM


Sister-mine, I am glad to have been there and more than glad to have a willing sacrifice fall under my poetically inspired, razor tongue. I trust he will no longewr bother you.

Secret well-kept sister of my heart.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


JennyLee
Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.
6 posted 1999-11-06 09:25 PM


And you do watch well Watcher. Been waitng
patiently for another work from you and this is great. I so love how you did this LOL...

Jenny

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Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 1999-11-11 10:13 AM


I came here today, searching for a reason that would make you leave Passions (as you stated in the Announcment Forum). Now, I'm really confused. I enjoyed your story very much and feel more enlightened about the terror you have been feeling. I hope things are better for you now.
Deep Blue Me
Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 396
By a big lake
8 posted 1999-11-13 08:30 PM


The story of you is well told and very interesting. Thank you for sharing it Watcher. I enjoyed hearing it from you.

DB



------------------
And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality
Closer to the heart.
===RUSH===

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