»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Interruption
| Passions in Prose |
|
Interruption |
|
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
|
"Redman to mission chamber six. Redman to mission chamber six." "I'm off duty," he growled from underneath the pillow. "Redman to mission chamber six. Redman to mission chamber six." The mechanical voice gave no hint of having heard the man. "I said," he started. But before he could finish, the voice repeated from the small speaker set in the corner of the room. He threw the pillow angrily at the squawking box and pulled the covers over his head. "Redman to mission chamber six. Redman to mission chamber six." The muscles of his jaw bulged with the strain of clenching teeth. He knew from experience that the voice would keep repeating until one of them gave up. To date, the voice had the perfect record. He stood out of the bed suddenly, upsetting the delicate balance of his night stand and sending the contents sprawling. He ignored them and pressed the button on the side of the communicator. "This is Redman," he announced. "I'm off-duty. I just got in..." he checked the chronometer on the wall." Thirty-five minutes ago. I'm not due back on duty for another thirty-six hours." He punched the button again and retrieved his pillow. As he walked back to the bed - more of a cot- he noticed the mess on the floor. He bent to pick the items up, but with a tired sigh, he stopped mid-bend and instead rolled onto the cot. He closed his eyes, grateful for the chance to go back to sleep. "Redman to mission chamber six. Redman to mission chamber six." He yelled incoherently, then threw a few curses at the box for good measure. He got up and walked to the box, punching the ‘send' button mid-sentence. "Do. You. Understand. Me." He pronounced loudly. "I said I'm off-duty!" When he depressed the button again, the voice started where it had left off. Redman didn't allow it to finish though. With an inhuman growl, he gripped the sides of the metal box and clenched his hands on the rounded edges. With a mighty heave, he ripped it from the wall and threw it on the ground. He looked at it as if considering whether or not to trample it. He glanced at his bare feet and decided against it. "Just an hour is all I ask," his deep baritone complained to the cold steel of the ceiling. His eyes rolled in the back of his head, and receiving no response, he lay down once again. His muscles tightened in anticipation of another interruption, but when none was forthcoming, he allowed himself to relax. He was on the brink of unconsciousness, when the sound of his door sliding open jolted him awake. He instinctively reached for the familiar hilt of his pistol, but immediately realized its comforting weight wasn't pressing against his bare leg. Sitting slowly, he levered his heavy eyelids open to peer at the intruder. Standing patiently at the entrance to his small room, a Servo-Mech was floating a foot above the ground. From the distance of a few feet, Redman could hear the soft whir as the servo-motors constantly ran, adjusting and re-adjusting to maintain the precarious balance of the robots semi flight. "What!" he yelled at the patient metal face of the robot. "Redman to mission chamber six. Redman to mission chamber six." "Oh damn," the large man sighed wearily. Despite the fact of having destroyed the voice's immediate tendrils into his life, the machine brain had still found a way to coerce him into following through with its perceived orders. "Fine," he muttered disconsolately to the hovering machine. "I'll be there in a click." Satisfied, the machine turned around and allowed the door to close. Determined to irritate those in power for as long as he could, Redman took his time putting on his uniform. He even spent a few moments tidying up from the recent mess. Eventually though, he could find no logical reason to postpone any longer, and left, making the short walk to mission control. |
||
| © Copyright 1999 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Very good read!!!! So...continue please! |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Good read indeed! ------------------ Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I love the humoUr is this!!! I can feel the character's exasperation - I assume this is motivated by your thinking about machines being alive? It's great, whatever the motivation. You have a thing about rolling eyes don't you....... This does seem complete in itself, too - though of course it could be expanded. One small thing - the 'was forthcoming', I think it sounds a bit better just as 'came' - sometimes simple works well. Oh okay, while I'm at it, You start a heap of sentences with 'He' and 'Him'. Perhaps you could break it up a bit, eg: 'He was on the brink...jolted him awake' could become: 'On the brink of unconciousness, the sound of his door....jolted him awake' - just for variation. Hugs, my story man. K |
||
|
Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Good read.....now the rest please! ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
||
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
To be continued..... please. A good read that's left us all hanging. ------------------ What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny, compared to what lies within us. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Good read Christopher....now where's the rest? |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||