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3. |
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johnt300 Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214san diego, ca. |
Accidentally posted this as a reply to 2. This is part 3. Wrote this early this morning. Hope you like it. Not sure if the rules will let me keep this one going for long, but will give it a try while I can. Thanks for all comments. GREATLY appreciated. He was thinking about his father again. His air conditioner was broken and there was a pool of sweat gathering all over his couch. Friggin' a.c., he thought. I remember how angry I used to get at him working on cars out in the Houston heat all weekend. In those high school days, while my frieds were enjoying thier weekends, it got to where I couldn't stand to be around him at all. I know he felt the same way, but he never told me so, and would never let me leave until it was all done. I'm glad for that, now. He just wanted to spend some time with me, while his own world was secretly caving in on him. I wish he would have just talked to me about every single thing that was on his mind. Then, and for the next decade or so after. I understood more about adults and their world than he knew. And as fate would have it, I can no longer share with him that wisdom, or whatever it is, now that I am at that level, too. He must have been about as lonely in this world as I am now, especially without him to talk to anymore. |
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| © Copyright 1999 johnt300 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
And when is the next installment? ------------------ Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
This is getting better and better...but why the switch from writing in the second person to the first?You started off writing about him,now your writing aboutyou. ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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johnt300 Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214san diego, ca. |
Dragoness, Thanks. About your question, I'm working on that. Take care. Tyson |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Tyson...I have to agree with Dragoness on this one, you did change from second person to first. One other observation, he is in his car driving down I-10 and ??"there was a pool of sweat gathering all over his couch." Afraid you lost me there. |
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johnt300 Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214san diego, ca. |
Hoot, I am hoping to get around to the 1st to 3rd deal. I can't make it work the way I want to than it'll just be my mistake. Still working on it down the road. About the couch. He is not in his car. He is at home. I have switched locations at almost every chapter so far. Switched time periods, too. Hopefully it'll fall into place soon. I know it's a little hard to follow one installment at a time. Hope to change that with longer installments as soon as I can find the time. Thanks a lot for the reply and questions. See you. Tyson |
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