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Loss Realized
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Loss Realized |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
I never realized how much one person effects another. I never realized how important one life lost means to a family. She was always the strong one, and the weakest one. The most romantic, the most caring. She could also be the harshest. The worst task Master God every created. She expected your personnel best and would accept nothing less. She gave her all to every thing she ever did. No matter what you asked of her you got the best she could do. Of course she had her limits. If you made the mistake of asking to borrow money, you damn well better be able to give not only the reason, but also, how and when you planned on paying her back. And you better have a good excuse, preferable your own death, if you were late in the payment. She could be bribed to forget some of your debt; fudge was always her favorite. Or maybe a taking her on a shopping trip. She had a heart of gold, and a will of pure steel. She ran her family like an army camp. Everyone had their task and you performed them without question. Love constantly surrounded her family. She was the guiding force, and the decision-maker. No one ever questioned her authority. Not her husband, who worshipped the ground she tread upon. She was tough but fair. She made the best of friend and the worst enemy. She was loving, kind, caring and the best of Mothers. Any problem could be laid at her feet. She'd listen patiently and then give you the answer you needed most. " So what are you going to do?" She always stood beside you right or wrong. Her hugs could make the worst of situations lighter and easier to deal with. She knew when you where lying, and when you when you finally came clean she understood why you lied in the first place. She always knew where you were, who you where with and what kind of person they were. She had that uncanny Mom ability to know each and every thing you did with you telling her. Her advice was always correct in a way that can't be explained. She knew life and grabbed it by the horns, wrestled it to the ground and took over. She would cry at sad movies then laugh at herself later. She took each of your hurts as personnel. No on hurt her family with facing her. She didn't fight your battles, but she was there to help arm you with the weapons you need. She lived for her family. She'd tell the worst jokes and be offended if you didn't laugh. She loved children. She gave everyone the benefit of doubt. She wasn't prejudice, except against prejudice. She could see the best in the worst of us, and the worst of the best of us.. I guess that’s why I miss her influence in my life so much. Just to have one hug, the hear her get one joke all confused, to see her sitting at the kitchen table one more day….for that I would give all I am. To tell her just one more time how much she means to me. To have her wipe one tear from my face. To apologize for the last words I know she understood. To erase that last argument. To be able to say " 'night Mom……see you in the morning…..Love Ya". And to hear her say the phrase I hated the most……."God willing". Or the one I miss the most " Love you to". You would think a 38 year old woman, with 3 college degrees could survive this world with out this person in her life. That she could go on day after day without the tears running like a faucet. She should be able to face old places they went to together without that sinking feeling in her chest. She should be able to smell the perfumes without dissolving into a puddle. That she could watch a movie without have to leave at the saddest parts. That she could remember the spirit of this person and how she always took each day as it came. But I can't, not yet, maybe not ever. Each day seems to be a trial, each footstep harder to take. I know this is not what she would expect of those she left behind. I know she would want us to be happy. She would want us to remember all the times we shared, good and bad, and mostly to remember that she loved us. That was her legacy to all of us….her unending love for us. It's this that I hold to my heart. ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Dragoness - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Well said sister-mine. All the hugs I can give go to you for both your loss and this tribute to it. ------------------ Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Very nicely written a wonderful tribute to your mother. She wolud be proud, I think. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Sigh, so brave. Wonderful legacy she left in you! |
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johnt300 Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214san diego, ca. |
I know where you are coming from with this, and I had many of these very same thoughts recently. Very well written and a great tribute. Thank you very much for saying what I meant to. Tyson |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Beautifully written.....what a wonderful tribute ------------------ Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same. Thank you all for leaving footprints!! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Very moving piece, Dragoness. Hugs from this side of the world. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
This is so sad, and moving...I'm left speechless. Thank you so very much for posting this. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
You are a Brave Dragoness! I love the entire work. Jenny |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, Dragoness, This is a sad but wonderful tribute. You should be proud. ------------------ Michael Anderson I could not love except where Death Was mingling his with Beauty's breath - Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny Were stalking between her and me. EAP |
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