Ache For The Blade-prose NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! at Lady deVine's request)

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DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

0 posted 1999-09-21 03:44 AM

I have been asked to explain the poem, My Ache for The Blade, in prose. To that end, I will explain how I came to write the poem and something of the mentality that actually feels the need to carve at their flesh. Well, let's get to it shall we?

While on vacation, about two days before I was to return home, I was slashed by a blade. There is no need to go into details about it, suffice it to say that I received a nice slash on my forearm about 2.5 inches long. The blade was scalpel sharp and parted flesh like a whisper. There was no pain involved at all. Actually it happened with such unexpected speed that I felt nothing. As I stood there contemplating the open yellowness of exposed fat tissue and the cheery redness of flesh, the beginnings of this poem began to stir in my head. The incision bled not at all for several minutes and I studied it most carefully while caring for it before heading for the ER. I have seen my wife's abdomen laid open and seen her internal workings closely. I have seen my own body laid open and yet none of it struck me as much as the simplicity of this relatively small slash. I began to ponder those I have known who lacerate and pierce their flesh for pleasure and the two I have known who did it as a release.

Both groups have similar mind-sets, enough people are into piercing to make discourse on it moot. The rest feel a release brought on by pain or the incision. In imagery, slashing or cutting at one's flesh will let the anguish run out, the grief, etc. There are several cultures which practice similar beliefs, not self-mutilation but with cathartic qualities nonetheless. The American Indian practiced extreme body play as a path to religious enlightenment and purification for example. The "evil" is given a route out of the body. Those individuals that practice such bizarre behavior have integrated it into their culture of one, making it just as valid as ritual scarification or tattooing. Valid, but not desirable. That is my brief opinion and explanation of any ache for the blade.

©1999 DreamEvil

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Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

1 posted 1999-09-21 05:36 AM

It is interesting to see exactly how "Ache for the Blade" originated. I often write some deep and dark things and never question the origins. I thought "Ache" was a magnificent piece and this only solidifies my sentiment.

michael

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 09-21-1999).]

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

2 posted 1999-09-21 03:22 PM

I must admit that I missed the symbolism. Like Michael, I love "ache", and it is fitting to hear the thoughts behind it!
Keep up the prose bro!

[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 09-21-1999).]

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

3 posted 1999-09-21 06:06 PM

By opening the flesh, all despair and grief can be let out, like puncturing a waterballoon.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

4 posted 1999-09-21 07:42 PM

I personnally loved the poem...because I personally know what it is to ache for the blade....Actually I first started by scraping jagged plastic an my arms...then cutting with broken glass, then razors. It helped to wear away the numbness, the absolute nothing that I had inside. It kept me sane....it was the only way to feel anything. I had no way to let out my emotional pain...so it built up until i just couldn't feel it anymore...At tihs point I was also without anyone to confide in, att odds with everyone eslse in the world, and swallowing up to 20 pills daily just to get away from it all. My mother and I were at the point of wanting to kill each other.
I was at the point where the only reason I didn't kill myself was because I lacked the ambition.
Anyway I was friends with my current boyfriend through it all, and he made me stop the cutting, then the pill popping, then the smoking (ciggarettes). Anyway I fell in love with him, and I'd like to say I have since lived happily ever after, but that isn't the case....
But I'm not cutting myself up anymore..though I will bear scars for a lifetime as a reminder....but Im not cuttintg myself up anymore...gotta look on the bright side right?

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

5 posted 1999-09-21 08:58 PM

What a horrid tale you bear SD. I am glad to see that you are "recovering." Remember that life is NEVER easy, and we should be thankful, for otherwise it would become quite boring don't you think? I warn you, you're liable to get a tongue lashing from severn when she reads this!

And dream, I was thinking about this, and have a question if it's not stepping over the line: How does one~voice fit into your paradigm, with your "ache" for the blade?

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

6 posted 1999-09-21 11:08 PM

Although I do not "ache for the blade" as you put it.. I have felt the need for emotional release. There are many ways to accomplish this, some not as visible as scars, but as painful and as deep as those made upon the flesh.

I am glad you took the time to write this to explain your poem Dream...

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

7 posted 1999-09-22 12:11 PM

Ah, yes! I do remember when that happened, DE. Thank you for the insight...allowing us a peek through the window to one facet of you mind, if you will.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

8 posted 1999-09-22 08:02 PM

Thank you for the explanation. Although I don't share any fascination for the 'blade', I do understand SD's motives for I have known someone that was a 'cutter'...sad, very sad. Next time anyone gets the urge to cut themself, please have them contact me.. I'd like to talk to them.

Julie Jordan Scott
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 146
Bakersfield, CA USA

9 posted 1999-10-18 01:53 AM

Even with this explanation, I think the reader can glean so much more from the lovers in this series of poems.

What is the blade symbolic of? What needs to be cut away in order for intimacy to be achieved? What is deep love, passion and desire truly all about? Wonderful....thought provoking....

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Julie Jordan Scott is a Freelance Writer and Public Speaker,
but her favorite role is that of Mommy! Visit her website at
http://www.5passions.com

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