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DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396


0 posted 1999-09-12 10:07 PM


Inspired by Jonathan Swift


I believe that I have found a solution to many labor disputes and missed production quotas; Mass enslavement of our nation's children. You see, I've tried it on a small scale at home and have been so impressed by the success of it that I have decided to draft this proposal in hopes of drumming up support for this on a national level.

Realistically, you have slaves that will learn as they grow. You never have to break in a new one. If you see a need for more laborers down the road, your wife can have another one. Children can earn their keep and you can teach them a sense of responsibility to boot. Now, I know what you're going to say. How can we expect to implement such an amazing plan on a national level? Easily! We re-institute corporal punishment in the schools and release domestic abusers to serve as on site hall monitors and coaches. Well we could expand this to include the whole gamut of incarcerated criminals but I'll stay focused on the children for now. Perhaps we could hire terrorist torturers to instruct parents in the proper disciplinary techniques, just so we don't cause any lasting damage to them. They couldn't work for one thing and for another, well they ARE the future of tomorrow and we don't want to ruin the future of this great country.

Now I realize that this entails a lot of work from parents at first and will be hard on the kids we already have. Children are resilient and bounce back well, not to mention the satisfaction parents will get when they see there child engaged in meaningful work. What meaningful work you may ask? Well my oldest daughter has done wonderfully at fetching my remote (see previously posted poem) since she was about 18 months old. Her ability becomes more apparent each day. Why, she even carries her baby brother around and plays with him to keep him out of my hair, literally. She carries gallons of milk and 12 packs with ease. She's young yet but you get the picture. It is a wonder to watch my kids grow knowing that I'm working to build a better tomorrow for them. I think every parent deserves that same pride, so why don't we all join together and get started in the right direction. Take some of the burden off of yourself and put it where it belongs, on the strong backs of America's youth.

I realize this is something of a modest proposal for such a gripping problem as adult depression and stress, but remember that suicide is the number one most preventable cause of death today. My own modest proposal can alleviate much of that stress and save so many lives. Please consider carefully using our children nationally as the cheap, slave labor they are used for at home.


©1999 DreamEvil


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Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.
DreamEvil©



© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
1 posted 1999-09-12 10:10 PM


ROFLMAO!! You are wicked, Mr. Dream!

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
2 posted 1999-09-12 10:26 PM


Your so silly..hahha..

They do come in handy when I am busy at the computer and need a drink..hahaha sometimes coming all the way in from down the block when I yell for them just to get mama a drink from the refridgerator thats 30 feet away from me.

Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
3 posted 1999-09-12 10:32 PM


Slave children? Hmmm, you sure have a thing with slaves in general, don't you Dream? I guess you had too much time on your hands tonight?
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
4 posted 1999-09-12 10:51 PM


LOL...where do you come up with this stuff?
I am amused!

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
5 posted 1999-09-13 01:12 AM


OUCH! My sides are killing me!
And my brother thought I was bad when I told him to give my niece beer and pizza and to put her in the closet when she was being noisy!

But, to add a serious note: I think that you intentionally (I hope) wrote this sarcastically, but there is some justice in it. Granted, not to the degree you've suggested, but there is a great problem in our country with the malady of laziness. A little more required out of children might instill a little better work effort, which is required if we are to ever move forward.

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
6 posted 1999-09-13 01:57 AM


Hey, you youngin's got a minute for an old man? Better make that a couple minutes, I reckon - this here rheumatism makes typing a bit tough, especially on wet nights like'n this one. But, trust me, you might just find it worth a teeny slice off your day.

See, I already been there. I spent a goodly bit of my life teaching my kids how to be responseeble and appreciate the work ethic that made this here country so gol-awful great. Shoot, my oldest girl was seven years old 'afore she figured out her name wasn't Fetch. Did 'em good, I always said.

Trouble is, ya see, I reckon I taught 'em just a little bit too good. Kids have a funny way of growin' up. And us daddy's, well we just sorta grow old, don't ya know. Couple years back, after I fell and cracked my gol-darned hip, I had to move in with my oldest girl. Robin's her name. I didn't much like it at first, but heck, I figured it was 'bout time she took care of me like'n I did her for so long. Right?

Uh, listen, I'll have to finish this up another time, here. Fingers ain't what they used to be, ya know. And Robin, bless her heart, wants me to fetch her something cold to drink...


DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

7 posted 1999-09-13 02:00 AM


Well an honor indeed I find the night did bring to me. Ron, everyone, look forward to your grandchildren as the blissful revenge they will be. I do.

------------------
Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.
DreamEvil©




[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 09-13-99).]

~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
8 posted 1999-09-13 02:09 AM


Dream...I back you 100%! LOL You know, my daughter even changes her little brother's diapers and LIKES to do it! What do you say we rally for support? hehehe We'll sit on the curb-side while our children hold the signs! LOL

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~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
9 posted 1999-09-25 09:12 PM


ROFL - I always knew you were a genious. This proves it. Such a devistating problem and the answer was there right before our eyes all along. You really should run for office, this nation needs your type of leadership.

------------------
Michael Anderson


And so, being young and dipt in folly
I fell in love with melancholy,
But dreams - of those who dream as I,
Aspiringly, are damned, and die:


EAP



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