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CT-my monniker
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CT-my monniker |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
I adopted my monniker for several reasons. My life having been a nightmare being the chief among them. I was once, callous, brutal, cold, sadistic and cruel. I would delight in the suffering of others. For reasons that are my own, my eyes were forever opened to the scope of human evil and perversion. With some major introspection, I came to the conclusion that the peace and love thing might be worth a second try or rather a third try, fourth...to be honest, I lost count. The only dreams that I remember are daydreams anymore. My prior life was revealed as nightmare, but one I dream of returning to. That wonderful coldness of soul is exhilarating in it's numbness. Nothing can hurt you if you don't feel anything. I still feel the mechanism in my head that led to my apathetic dispassion and can trip that switch at will. I choose not to, perhaps I like pain too much or have been seduced by hope. Regardless, I am DreamEvil because I dream of a return to my evil days, because I have been the stuff of nightmares and because I am the seductive evil of your dreams. Don't believe me? Look into the pit of your soul, into the bowels of your personal Hell. Gaze into that Darkness, you'll see me smiling back at you.  ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ Pain is life, life is short, I will endure. DreamEvil© [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 09-06-99).] [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 09-06-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved | |||
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
nicely worded ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Well if such is the case, then I can only wish there were more like you out there. If darkness is what is required for a kind heart and powerful words like yours, then the light needs to be abandoned. And yes DE, I see you smiling, but your face is only one of many that dwell in the introspective madness buried in my mind and soul! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow - CHILLS! Another mystery exposed. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
"Nothing can hurt you if you don't feel anything"...powerful words... HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Seduced by hope... I love how you said that... However, I don't see you down there in my own personal hell... I looked! hehehe However, I did look in that place where it's warm, content, safe and loving...and I found you there, fast asleep. ------------------ ~onevoice~ "Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior." |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Oh, no, DE! Don't ever change!  Please? ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
I believe I truly understand! Jenny |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Dream, I believe I share that same mechanism, the one that lets you fall into that uncaring void, where its ok to be ugly, to be worthless, where its ok to exert your only energy towards self-destruction....well at least in my case. I know it can't be the same in any two people, but I can still envelope myself in that safe blanket of apathy if I want to. I also think that sometimes, when you've been that way for too long, the only thing you cou can feel anymore is pain. And for some people, its all they want to feel. And some poeple truly need to feel it to even remember that they are alive. But I have, as you put it, been seduced by hope. Sometimes thats all we have is hope. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
It is so easy to be seduced by the security of feeling nothing ... I'm sure that we can all say that we have been there at least once, or wished we could be ... I remember a time not too long ago when I earned the title of "Ice Princess" ... I was not apathetic but instead calculatingly cold ... it was amusing to me to watch those around me flail in the grip of their emotions while I stood by unaffected, chuckling to myself ... but now I believe that it was a glorified and well-developed defense mechanism ... designed by a heart that had been broken one too many times to ensure that nothing, be it pain or pleasure, sorrow or joy, should ever touch me again ... Needless to say, I am glad to be free of my own self-inflicted solitude ... but at times, when the pain looms and the heart bleeds, that cold, empty fortress beckons invitingly ... Well written, Dream. I think many of us can relate. Nocht PS: Unless you look like a cross between the monster from Alien and my mom's first and third husbands, you are NOT lurking in my own personal hell! |
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