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Alain DeLaCendres
Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 119
Ohio

0 posted 1999-08-14 09:01 PM


*note: 2711 words in this one..I would appreciate any suggestions and such any one might have. Thanks.


I

The cool summer night felt good against her smooth skin. The wind blew slowly, like the
caress of a lover. Though it was cool, it was warmer than the restaurant had been. The
restaurant had been a really nice place, and she had found the food to be very good and
had enjoyed herself. Jak was in a better mood than she had ever seen him. He was being
very funny and Jennifer had laughed endlessly all night long. When they had finished
eating, Jak had gotten the bill and he had paid it with a smile (and a four dollar tip to the
waiter) and they had left. Now Jak was coming around the Jennifer's side of the car to
open her door for her. Such a gentleman.
"Ladies first my dear." Jak said in his best romantic voice. Jennifer found it quite a good
one.
She gave Jak a warm smile and kissed his cheek then got into the car. Jak shut the door
for her and walked around to his side and got in. He jingled the ignition key from among
the tangle of keys on his key ring and started the car. The Lumina purred into life and Jak
dropped the transmission into reverse. He checked both ways for cars, and backed out of
the parking space, then put the car into drive and they were off.
The cool Saturday night air was locked outside of the car, and Jennifer was glad it was,
she didn't want it to mess her hair. She had been living with Jak for five months now, and
she expected him to propose in another few months. They were on their way back to their
house now. Well, it wasn't their house, they rented the second floor from the elderly man
who lived downstairs. Tonight's date had been Jak's idea, and all had went well. Better
than well, things had went great. The movie had been good (a long romantic movie, but
Jak said that he had liked it too, even though he usually didn't go for those kind of films),
and the dinner couldn't have been better.
The buildings glided past the windows of the car in unimportant blurs. Jak was silent
now, for the first time all night. Jennifer could tell that he was tired, and she was too. All
she wanted was to get back to the house and flop down in their soft bed. And before
Jennifer knew it, her head was nodding down onto her chest and her eyes were closed. Jak
gently nudged her shoulder, and she woke up, unaware of were she was.
"We're home honey. You fell asleep on the ride here. What do you say you let me carry
you upstairs?"
"Just don't drop me down the stairs Romeo." Jennifer added a groggy smile an hoped her
would take the joke. He did.
"Come on my Juliet, let's get you to bed."
Jak carried her upstairs and set her down on the bed, then went to take a shower.
Jennifer lay in bed, awake for now, and listened to the rhythm of the water. Within five
minutes, she was asleep once more.

II

She jerked awake, sitting straight up. The sound of running water no longer drifted from
the adjoining bathroom and a quick glance next to the bed beside her revealed when Jak
was. Jennifer looked down to the digital clock/radio on the night stand to discover it was a
quarter after three in the morning. The house was silent, not even the mellow hum of the
refrigerator was to be heard. The window was open just enough to let in a breeze, but
none of the sounds from the night below seemed to be drifting up to the window. Why had
she been jolted awake? She scanned the bedroom and found nothing out of place, no
intruders. She listened again for a sound from the rest of the house, but none came. Jak
continued to sleep silently beside her, he surely hadn't woken her up. Again she didn't even
remember falling asleep, but it must have been sometime before Jak had gotten out of the
shower. She must have woken up once already tonight because she was now only in her
underwear and bra, and she didn't remember taking her clothes of before falling asleep.
She often woke up in the night and did things such as undress, things she should have
done before falling asleep, so she thought nothing it happening again.
The house was dark, as always. Only the light from the small night light in the bathroom
was on, everything else was as it should have been. Jennifer slowly slid her bare legs from
under the sheets, careful not to disturb Jak. She didn't really think anyone else was in the
house, but something felt wrong all the same. Her mind drew blank after blank as to what
exactly was wrong, but the feeling wouldn't leave her.
The plush carpet was cold beneath her naked feet. First she crept into the bathroom, and
all was fine. The water was turned off, the toilet seat was down, no intruder. Jennifer
turned and made her way towards the door that led to the hallway. Down the left of the
hall, perhaps ten feet away, was a stair well to the attic. There was no door at the bottom
of the stair well, it was at the top. Jak and Jennifer didn't have access to the attic, the door
was locked because the owner of the house said that he kept things in there that were
"best left alone and unremembered". Old pictures, presumably of Mr. Geller's family hung
on the walls of the stair well. Jak and Jennifer surely hadn't put them there, so it only made
sense that they belonged to Mr. Geller, though why he didn't hang the pictures downstairs
where he stayed was beyond Jennifer. The hall was uncommonly wide for a hallway,
perhaps twenty feet wide. Jak had put an old leather couch in the hall near the stair well
when they had first moved in. The couch came from Jak's room in his parent's house, and
he insisted on keeping it because he thought it was comfortable, so Jennifer had agreed to
putting it by the stair well. Not that is served any purpose, they hardly ever sat on it; but it
satisfied Jak to have it around, so Jennifer had no problem with the couch.
To the right the hall open up into the living room area then a half-wall separated the
kitchen area. No lights were on at that end of the house, and Jennifer heard nothing. Her
attention went back to the stair well for some reason. Nothing was unusual about the stair
well, no light was coming from that direction, no sounds either. But something is wrong,
Jennifer's mind kept screaming at her. But nothing looked wrong.
Finally instinct got the better of her and Jennifer began to creep towards the stair well,
with no light but the almost nonexistent glow of the night light in the bathroom to guide
her.

III

The old pictures were framed in equally old frames. Black and white faces stared at
Jennifer as she crept down the hall against the wall. The ghostly faces weren't helping
Jennifer's uneasy feeling any, their eyes seemed to be staring right through her though she
supposed the looked perfectly happy in the daylight. The family captured in the old photos
did indeed resemble Mr. Geller, and the small boy sitting on a woman's lap in the picture
hanging above all the rest might very well be Mr. Geller, but Jennifer and Jak had never
bothered to ask. As Mr. Geller said, they were things "best left alone and unremembered".
Jennifer, despite her careful efforts and slow going, still bumped into the leather couch.
This scared her and a strangled screech escaped her throat before she could cut it off.
Jennifer clamped both hands over her mouth, but she was too late. She hoped Jak would
stay asleep, she would have no excuse for him when he asked her what she was doing
sneaking around the house.
She stood stiff against the wall, waiting for Jak to awaken. The house remained silent.
Jennifer did not hear Jak stirring in the bed; it seemed that he hadn't heard the scream and
would remain asleep. Jennifer let out her breath, though she hadn't known she had been
holding it. Her heart pounded like a mad bass drum in her chest. She was nervous but
could not decide why; Jak was asleep, and nothing seemed to be wrong.
Breathing harshly, Jennifer lowered herself down onto the leather couch. It's smooth
surface was cold, bringing goose flesh to her skin. She could feel sweat collecting on her
brow, and tiny droplets forming on her spine. It was a cold seat, for Jennifer now felt as if
she were sitting outside naked in a blizzard, But there was no blizzard, not even any snow
nor would there be for several months yet.
Cramps suddenly exploded in Jennifer's stomach. This time she screamed in pain, not
fright. She clamped her arms across her stomach and held her breath. She felt vomit rise in
her throat and forced it back down. Each breath was a struggle. Jennifer lay down on the
couch, hoping to ease the pain. It was like having someone's hand inside of her stomach
pushing outward. Pain strangled moans escaped her throat, to her ears they sounded to be
coming from very far away.
Jennifer looked like a twenty-four year old baby inside a womb. She lay on the couch in a
tight fetal position; her arms locked across her stomach and her knees almost touching her
forehead. The cramps were still raging in her stomach like a fist trying to bow it's was
through her belly button. Her lungs rasped with every breath she took, her throat was on
fire. A migraine headache swept into the center of her forehead now too. Pain came from
it in tight little pricks in her head. Each one hit with the force of a brick wall. The cramps
still raged on down in her abdomen.
Fear gripped Jennifer she thought she was dying. A scream was rising in her throat and
there would be no way to hold this one back. Then all the pain- the cramps, the migraine
headache, the burning throat- all stopped.

IV

She was shaking all over. Sweat now flowed from every pore in her body. She brought
her head up ever so slowly and looked towards the stairwell. The first time her weakened
mind registered was that the old pictures that always hung on the walls of the stair well
were gone. Her eye drifted to the floor, hoping to find them there, but they were not. They
were simply gone. The second thing her mind registered was the figure standing just
beyond the couch.
"Jak? Help me Jak! It hurt. It hurt so bad, but then it stopped. What happened to me
Jak?" Her voice was hardly above a whisper, but the figure nodded it's head in total
understanding.
The form took a step forward. It wasn't Jak, it wasn't even a real person. Jennifer could
see through the figure. It had no specific features; no face, no hair, no clothing; just the
shape of a person. Panic raced through Jennifer like a freight train. It extended an arm
towards Jennifer, its finger splayed wide. the figure stepped forward with it's arm extended
that way until it stood just above Jennifer.
It crouched down and laid it's fingers on Jennifer's forehead. They were weightless but
warm. So warm. Light blossomed in Jennifer's mind then began to form images.

V

Knowledge.
Mr. Geller hides money behind the refrigerator.
Jak is dreaming of you. A cold winter night in a warm cabin.
You are not dying, not yet, not for many years yet.
The president is cheating on is wife, again.
A man in Russia just slit his own mother's throat.
A woman in Texas is having twins; one boy, one girl.
The world will not end in the year two thousand.
God is real.
Humans are not alone.
Angels exist, so do demons.
I am a ghost.
There really are things that go "bump" in the night.
You will marry Jak in two years, on September twelfth.
You will have three children, two boys and one girl.
Your oldest son will be killed in an automobile accident when he hits a drunk driver at the
age of nineteen.
Your daughter will become an important scientist.
Your younger son will set the rug on fire at the age of four.
Jak will live to be eighty-three, he will die of heart failure.
You are not dying.
Love Jak. He will help you, you will help him.
Jak will not believe you, he will think this was a dream, but you will tell him anyway.
Mr. Geller knows why the pictures are gone.
But he his downstairs having a heart attack right now, and he will never get the chance to
tell you about them.
Mr. Geller will leave this house to you in his will.
You will raise your children here, they will be happy.
Trust in what I say child, for it is all true. You will watch it all come to pass.
Awaken child.
The pictures are gone........

VI

Jennifer jumped awake. Jak's hand was on he shoulder shaking her.
"Jennifer? Are you okay? Why are you sleeping out here on the couch?" His voice was
still clogged with sleep.
"It hurt Jak. It hurt so much, but then it was gone."
"Did you get sick last night Jennifer? Did that food from the restaurant not settle on your
stomach too well, honey?"
"No, I didn't get sick. It hurt Jak. My head was exploding and my stomach had millions
of cramps. But it all went away when I saw the figure."
"Figure? Jennifer, what are you talking about?"
"The pictures are gone Jak. Mr. Geller is dead."
"Jennifer! Where did you come up with all of this? Was it a bad dream?"
"No Jak. Look, the pictures are gone."
Jennifer lifted her hand and pointed towards the stair well. Jak's eyes followed her finger,
and he saw. His mouth drew into a frown.
"Did you take them down Jennifer? Did someone steal them? Mr. Geller is going to be
mad."
"No Jak, they were just gone. No one stole them. They disappeared. And Mr. Geller
could have told us why, but he's downstairs in his big bed, dead of a heart attack."
"Enough of this Jennifer," Jak said, his voice taking on a stern tone. "I'm going down to
check on Mr. Geller. Stay here honey."
Jak turn and jogged towards the stairs. Not the stair well from which the pictures were
missing, but the one just beyond the kitchen that led downstairs. She could her Jak's
muffled voice calling for Mr. Geller, but she heard no response. That settled it for her, she
knew she had been right. Her mind raced to remember all of the other things that she had
been told, but came up mostly empty handed. A few of the things still floated in her mind,
but she expected them to be gone before the day was over.
She heard Jak's footfalls as he came back upstairs.
"Jennifer! He's dead Jennifer! How did you know that? I have to call the ambulance!"
She heard Jak pick up the telephone and dial the emergency number. She heard his
worried voice giving their address and explaining the situation. Jennifer was tired again.
She curled back up into that fetal position from last night, and fell asleep.

VII

Over the course of her life, everything Jennifer had been told that night came to pass. She
had indeed forgotten them before that day was over, but she remembered being told those
things would happen when they did happen. But by then it was too late to stop the bad
ones. The good ones came to pass also, and life went on.

9:25:01 PM / Thursday, August 12, 1999

------------------
Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.

© Copyright 1999 Alain DeLaCendres - All Rights Reserved
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513

1 posted 1999-08-15 01:42 AM


Alain ..I loved this! I could see what was coming but it was a shock anyway.Well done!!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 1999-08-15 03:49 AM


Alain, first I want to say that I really enjoyed the idea of this story. It's fresh and inventive.

If I may, I do have a suggestion:
Though it can be a pain in the rear (I know from personal experience) consider re-writing this and looking for a simpler way to put the point across. In a way, it sounds a little too much like "stage direction" If you're looking to make this into kind of a "short movie" then ignore what I'm say. But if you wrote it to be read and not seen, the consider chopping it a bit. One of the most common thing I hear from my editor, is "If it doesn't NEED to be in there, cut it out!"

------------------
...the things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice.
-Billy Joel

Alain DeLaCendres
Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 119
Ohio
3 posted 1999-08-15 07:00 PM


Thank you Dragoness, I'll work on the suspense of this..

And Christopher, I thank you too. Indeed it will be a pain to rewrite this considering the story behind it's "birth", rewriting is exactly what I must do. It's kind of like I have the trimmings, but left out the stuffing, and mayhap I added a little too much trimming. :->~ A short movie isn't exactly what I had in mind, and I've noticed your suggestion about "stage direction". Personally, I don't like that feel in this story..Thanks you again Christopher and Dragoness, maybe I'll have a rewrite sometime soon for you.

------------------
Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.

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