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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 1999-08-05 12:28 PM


She was there, as usual, in the middle of everything. She never wanted it to be about herself, but that is how it always seemed to turn out. And yet…

He was there, too. She knew he shouldn’t be, but he was. And he had been so wonderful lately, taking her into his confidence, sharing with her things that were normally outside the employer/employee relationship. She felt the confidant, the trustee of his inner thoughts, and the keeper of his soul. He asked her to make sure he “didn’t go wrong” in daily life decisions: after all, he had his reputation to worry about, as well as she had hers. And yet…

She knew he didn’t know. She knew she was faithfully married, but the yearnings for him had overcome her at one time, months ago, and there were times now she wished she could say what was really on her mind. But no, she knew better, and she knew if she wanted to keep her job, and his trust, she must refrain. But sometimes it was so hard to do, like now…

But tonight it was different. She felt her mind was taking on a life of its own, as well as her lips, her tongue, beginning to whisper those dreaded words of lust, of love, of wanting him to know that while he had nothing to fear, how could he not know how she felt?

It was amazing how much he was like her husband. Stoic, solid, trustworthy, loyal. All of the same qualities, but none of the fringe benefits for her! She knew that in her heart. Or at least, part of her heart realized what could not be. And yet here she was, part of her mind ready to betray her innermost thoughts to him, knowing all the while that it would destroy everything, his marriage, her marriage, she stood to lose so much. How dare her mind work that way! What was it thinking, ready to tell him just how she felt? Was she going crazy? Did she care? What mattered? Her reverence for him, her thought of being with him, for life, and his five kids? Was she crazy? “I must be,” a part of her mind spoke. “Crazy, but not like a fox! How could I be ready to let him know that I could love him so easily, so lustfully, so willingly?” And her heart pained, and suffered, for her mind knew it would betray her.

He was there. She knew her husband was just in the other room. He would hear her. Her tongue didn’t care. It was ready to unleash the words that would ruin her life, or would it? What would he say? Would he say anything? He looked at her, a bemused look on his face, and she wondered if he knew the quandary she felt herself to be in, and would he still be amused? Her tongue starting letting loose the words her heart felt… “You know, don’t you, that I love you?”

And that’s all it took. His face turned itself into a horrific mirror of terror at the mere words she spoke, because he knew that everything he told her had been for naught…he could no longer trust her, nor be by her. And worse, her husband came in, glaring, saying to her “what do you mean? How could you? Why?”

And the alarm clock awoke her to daylight, and she felt the fear: had she been talking in her sleep?


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© KRJ 05 Aug 99
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow




[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 08-05-99).]

© Copyright 1999 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
1 posted 1999-08-05 02:51 PM


Very well written, and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing this.

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"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain*

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

2 posted 1999-08-05 03:56 PM


Quite an unsettling experience, I would imagine.

Welcome to Passions in Prose.

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Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 1999-08-07 05:41 PM


I actually had to gulp in this one! Yikes! I liked it a lot. Who hasn't fantasized or dreamt about saying something only to wake and wonder if it was real! Very good!
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513

4 posted 1999-08-07 10:27 PM


Finally! A good use for alarm clocks.This was great!

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Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 1999-08-08 10:57 AM


Thank you all for your comments. Dreams, at least for me, often have the tendancy to feel very real, and sometimes I feel as if I haven't slept all night!

------------------
© KRJ
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
6 posted 2000-07-11 06:41 AM


How apropos then, that on a sleepless night, I should retrieve this from the depths to bring it back into the light of a sunshiny day!

(Makes me glad in a way that I don't remember my dreams!)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2000-07-11 09:13 AM


Chris, glad I could help out in any old way...

Sunny

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
8 posted 2000-07-11 10:22 PM


very dreamy story...well written
liked that element of doubt in it


If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


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