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Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 1999-07-29 05:34 PM


I stepped out of my reverie for a moment. The small bit of wrapping paper, trapping my eye with its shiny glint, blinks in the rays of the sun coursing through the window. Sitting cross-legged on my living room floor, I notice that my legs are wet. (From what?) Oh yes, my own tears. I had not realized I had been crying. They fell so silently from my soft, red eyes; these eyes that shone a brilliant green in their happier days. Photographs littered the floor around me, in chaotic disarray. Albums lay open and dismantled atop small various piles of empty picture frames. What dreadful masochistic urge compelled me to tear open this newly healing wound? Ah…my eye back to the wrapping paper, that’s what it was.

My initial intent was to simply clean the house. A comfortable habit of mine, cleaning. One can void themselves of thought so easily while toiling away at day to day tasks. Cleaning was my reprieve from the pain; a tool amongst many in my chest to use against dwelling on the past. I did not want to remember the last words you spoke. I wanted a minor reprieve from my ever-fruitless search for the answer to my one true question. Why is it over? As I bent to pick up the rogue piece of paper, I noticed the album cupboard. The corner of a picture slyly poked out of the bottom crack, ironically enough, it was one of our wedding pictures. Fate plays such cruel games.

The picture I pulled out was ordinary enough. Flowers and friends abound; we were the center of attention. Hmm, but something is not right.

You were not smiling.

Curiosity took over, and I reached in to pull out the first album. My fears were proven true, and my chest gaped open where my heart had been ripped out. My eyes squeezed shut in a grimace of true pain, as I doubled over. Oh the ache in my stomach was unbearable to the point of insanity, caused by the true sense loss and failure that I felt.

Five albums,
10 picture frames,
329 pictures,
Four and a half years,
And 30 minutes of tears later,
I finally saw the truth.

You never smiled.
No wonder you left me.

© Copyright 1999 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved
azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
1 posted 1999-07-29 07:13 PM


Sad, the things we notice often too late. What a wonderful reading this was...I really enjoyed it alot.

------------------
For sometimes when the Darkness falls, we must surrender, take what is ours, and give what we can, and always remember love is somewhere waiting...


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 1999-07-29 08:09 PM


A good tale. It's going to send a lot of people rushing to their photo albums to count the smiles.

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

3 posted 1999-07-29 10:25 PM


Dear Lady, I see you finished this piece beautifully. Very sad, well written and poignant.

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©



Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
4 posted 1999-07-29 11:50 PM


az: Your words are so true. The day he left, he gave me the whole "never really loved you, shouldn't have gotten married" spiel. And I, in my blind love for him, did not see the failing marriage until it was to late. Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Ms DeVine: Thank you for reading, and your kind comment! My picture cupboard needed re-arranging anyway....at least that's how I try to see it now.

DE: I did finally manage to finish this piece, with a little help from my friend Thank you for taking the time to read the finished product.

leelew
Member
since 1999-07-10
Posts 89
highmount,ny,usa
5 posted 1999-07-30 02:57 AM


Well done.I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who refuses to see whats right in front of me.Thank-You for sharing.
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
6 posted 1999-07-30 03:19 AM


leelew, sincere thanks! You are not alone!!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
7 posted 1999-07-31 12:10 PM


Wow...thanks for sharing this one, wonderfully written!
~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
8 posted 1999-07-31 06:21 PM


Satiate, you are very talented! I enjoy reading your work...you write with such emotion! I am SO looking forward to more!

------------------
~onevoice~

"She looked at her life
like lines, never-ending,
constantly forming,
reforming and bending."



Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
9 posted 1999-08-01 03:57 AM


Hoot, thank you for reading it! I sincerely appreciate your comment.
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
10 posted 1999-08-01 04:00 AM


one voice ~ Thank you!! I am always in awe of the amount of emotion in your work, your comment means very much to me.

[This message has been edited by Satiate (edited 08-02-99).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 1999-08-11 02:30 PM


What a beautifully propounded piece. I was you there on the floor. Well done. Hard to believe that other people have gone through all of the e/motions; I guess there is really nothing "new" in the world of love, hey?

Good piece of work. Perhaps we should have it published in the DP newsletter? hint hint.

------------------
© KRJ
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
12 posted 1999-08-11 10:02 PM


Sunshine...no doubt. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for your praise. Both mean very much to me. And being published in the newsletter?....why...I'd be honored!
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