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Masked Intruder
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since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

0 posted 1999-07-26 04:33 PM



I slip through the gate and into your front lawn. I slide past shadows and patches of light and up to your front door. I whisper a word of magic and the knob slowly turns. I step through, into the darkness of your dwelling. Your perfume still floats across the air, my whiskers twitch at the aroma. My paws make a silent thwap on the floor as I pad through halls and rooms. I seek only you, nothing else is of value to me. Curious by nature, yet drawn to the brightest object of all. My instincts guide me around yet another corner and I draw near to your bedroom door. A muffled creak accompanies the push of the door as my words of magic allow me entrance. My bright eyes reflect the moonlight coming through the window as I gaze on your sleeping form. Like a streak of black and gray I am at your side, padding carefully around your pillows. My whiskers tickle your ear as I snuffle at your face. You stir, in a dream unseen by my eyes. I quickly lick your cheek and you awaken. But I am already gone, leaving only tiny prints in your carpets and drifts of magic in the air.


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Even with a lot of imagination, does it make the story less true?

[This message has been edited by Masked Intruder (edited 07-27-99).]

© Copyright 1999 Philip Zemler - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 1999-07-26 07:47 PM


Nice...I like this one. Very nice visuals. Makes for an interesting read.

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"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

2 posted 1999-07-26 10:14 PM


Having had some experience with the animal in question, you captured it's attitude well.

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Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©



Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
3 posted 1999-07-27 12:50 PM


Delightful escapade, MI! I especially liked the line "drawn to the brightest object of all" in this context. And the concluding line was perfection!

One minor correction, my friend: I think you meant "muffled creak." (Though, perhaps, with magic in the same sentence, the little critter really was accompanied by a tiny stream. )

Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
4 posted 1999-07-27 10:44 AM


Too true, too true. I've reread this one almost a hundred times making changes and edits and have never caught that. Thanks for pointing it out, Ron.

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Even with a lot of imagination, does it make the story less true?

leelew
Member
since 1999-07-10
Posts 89
highmount,ny,usa
5 posted 1999-07-30 03:10 AM


Ah the midnight visitor! I loved it!
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
6 posted 1999-08-09 12:46 PM


have you been hanging out with my cat, wink, again, MI? geesh....

cool writing, m'friend

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