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access denied

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johnt300
Member
since 09-12-99
Posts 215
san diego, ca.


0 posted 10-06-1999 09:37 PM       View Profile for johnt300   Email johnt300   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for johnt300

For some reason when I try to get into the critical analysis section, I keep gettin this access denied message, that I think may have something to do with my LAN system that I am on, and not the poetry site itself. I was wondering if someone could post the reply that someone just made to a poem that I posted there. If you could post it as a reply right here so I could read it, I would appreciate it. Thanks a lot.
Tyson
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


1 posted 10-07-1999 03:52 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

John: the replies follows and was from Brad timed at 21:07..:-

I'm not really sure what to say here. You've got some interesting images but the movement of the poem is unclear to me. Don't get me wrong. I love contradictions in a poem but I don't quite see how they work.
I to her . . .
Yet her to me

and

Once and always
Forever lost

and a few others just don't make any sense from where I stand. On the one hand, you seem to want to stress the real, true love but on the other, you seem to want to distance it.

You have 'firefight', 'faded star' and
'billowing clouds' -- I wonder if you might try to develop just one of these ideas and see where it goes.

It seems you've lost someone and yet trying to deal with that passing yet still feel that she is 'here'. It seems to be both a comfort and torture to the character. I might want to bring that out more.

I don't not like this poem but it is a bit too ethereal for my taste. I'm surprised however that no one else has commented yet. Some people really like this type of stuff.

Just an opinion,
Brad



------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

johnt300
Member
since 09-12-99
Posts 215
san diego, ca.


2 posted 10-07-1999 02:34 PM       View Profile for johnt300   Email johnt300   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for johnt300

Thank you Rainbowgirl, Much appreciated.
johnt300 will be notified of replies
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