Member Rara Avis
First, Gansta, I want to assure you that your original post was not deleted purposely. RainbowGirl was apparently replying just as our server glitched (we were down hard for several minutes), and the result was gibberish in the database. I downloaded the files to my local PC in hopes of recreating them, but my hopes were in vain.
Second, let's talk about your post. The other four posts you've made on the board, shortly after this one, make it clear you are depressed, lonely, and very angry. Losing someone you care about can do that, I know. And you already know I'm going to tell you that suicide isn't the answer - so I'll avoid that cliché. Instead, let's talk about your options.
The post that was unfortunately mangled was an obvious cry for help. And that's good. You need to ask for help and you need to get a valid response to your strident plea. But the key word there is valid. Everyone who comes here, I think, cares deeply about other people. They care about your pain, and I suspect every one of them would like to help. But the unfortunate truth is that we don't have the answers you seek. We're not qualified. We're writers, not therapists, poets, not professionals. And anyone talking about suicide needs professional help. Not poetry. Not glib answers that are likely to do as much harm as help. You need someone who can do more than sympathize with your pain. You need someone who can understand it on a level we can't.
I strongly encourage you to seek help locally. Talk to someone who can point you in the right direction. As a last alternative (there are limitations, I think, on the power of the Internet), I'm going to give you a link that can give you better advice than I can. And I wish you the best of luck your in search.
[This message has been edited by Ron (edited 09-28-1999).]