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 uuuuummmmmmmmm, just don't ask
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Passions in Poetry

uuuuummmmmmmmm, just don't ask

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punksmurf
Junior Member
since 01-01-2002
[First Post] 42
new hampshire, U.S.


0 posted 01-01-2002 05:56 PM       View Profile for punksmurf   Email punksmurf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for punksmurf


poodle with a mowhawk
running like a chicken
with its legs cut off
but it's not running anymore
hopping, really
in a slurring ruckus
of mowhawk feahters
curtsy and fall
all the headlights,
burning at my eyes
like bad moonlight
strung across the movie screen
all the shaoes
are fairy tale books
pictures
bathed in honeyed light
and i watch my hands
feet,arms,moving lips
as they dissapate
disappear
© Copyright 2002 Hilda MacKinnon - All Rights Reserved
lizzyluv
Member
since 12-27-2001
Posts 53
nh, usa. we suck.


1 posted 01-01-2002 06:04 PM       View Profile for lizzyluv   Email lizzyluv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lizzyluv

hmm, i see. well welcome to these [censored by moderator] boards. tehe, that wasn't really censored, but you know it should be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
aright, on to your poem. hmmm, i like. your imagery is good. and your flow is even. i like your comparasins of things. very original. you have style. you have grace. you're miss america! just kidding. but i really do like.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
check out some posts, the  more you make comments on, the more curious about you people get. oh yeah, and NEVER, EVER swear, you'll be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law [edited]. *shrugs* have fun!


"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (01-01-2002 08:26 PM).]

Opeth
Member Elite
since 12-13-2001
Posts 2224
The Ravines


2 posted 01-02-2002 10:30 AM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

Punctuation marks are missing in action. Spell checking is a good thing.
Are you serious about the given title?
hush
Senior Member
since 05-27-2001
Posts 1693
Ohio, USA


3 posted 01-02-2002 11:32 AM       View Profile for hush   Email hush   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hush

I...uh.... don't get it.

First of all, I would fix the typos. Other than that.... I just don't get it. I don't particularly care for nonsense poems though, so I'm probably not the best source of advice.

"I'm thinking about leaving tomorrow
I'm thinking about being on my own
I think I been wasting my time
I'm thinking about getting out"

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 11-03-1999
Posts 4427
Oklahoma, USA


4 posted 01-02-2002 01:38 PM       View Profile for Not A Poet   Email Not A Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Not A Poet's Home Page   View IP for Not A Poet

Hi punksmurf,

And welcome to the forum. I too am a little confused by this poem but I did want to stop in, say hello and welcome you to the family.

Check you email for a message.

Thanks,
Pete
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


5 posted 01-02-2002 02:58 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

This seems like a jumble words in a 'wannabe' poem. I'd like to see more of your work. Are you serious about writing?
Roberta Little
Junior Member
since 12-18-2001
Posts 42
beloit wi usa


6 posted 01-03-2002 01:43 PM       View Profile for Roberta Little   Email Roberta Little   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Roberta Little

punksmurf-
       that was cool to say the least. i liked it. thanx 4 posting. hope to see more of your work. l-8-er!
Mac Attack
Member
since 12-12-2001
Posts 102
Ontario, Canada


7 posted 01-04-2002 09:11 PM       View Profile for Mac Attack   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mac Attack

No joke about the punctuation and spell-check suggestions.  It is distracting to re-read a line (or several) to determine which word you meant to use.

Regarding your poem, I am tossed.  If you meant to convey a deep and meaningful insight, then I guess I missed it.  If you meant to give us some psychedelic, disjointed images as they free float in the void, then not only do I get it, I like it. (Donít read into what that would say about me, I wouldn't want to know. lol)

Note:  Any post that generates both comments and interest is worth the effort.  Hope to see more of your postings soon,

Mac

ps - thanks for the input on my humble post, I appreciate it. [ ]
C?
Member
since 12-29-2001
Posts 349


8 posted 01-06-2002 02:04 AM       View Profile for C?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for C?

I read this a long time ago and I guess I never replied...,I really like the use of words in here...nothing typical, ya know? it's interesting poetry!
rich-pa
Member
since 02-07-2000
Posts 325
New Orleans, Louisiana


9 posted 01-07-2002 04:47 PM       View Profile for rich-pa   Email rich-pa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rich-pa

i'm, assuming that this was meant nothing more than a nonsense poem...the poem itself is a "slurring ruckus"...if you meant to convey some sort of message about life or something through the ruckus, i;m not sure...yer poem has become a complete impediment to meaning... i'm a disciple of reader response theory and i don't get anything much from this...sincerely, critic

"freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..."  -janis joplin

punksmurf
Junior Member
since 01-01-2002
Posts 42
new hampshire, U.S.


10 posted 01-08-2002 06:14 PM       View Profile for punksmurf   Email punksmurf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for punksmurf

i was not trying to convey any deep hidden meaning, i am truly sorry, my typing sucks. my poem was not trying to be anything, and iam not sure how it could then be a 'wannabe' i appreciate mac's post, and assure you all that this was all just the randomly disjointed things that float into my demented thought process.
 
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