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Passions in Poetry

Look for Me At Night

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craigrk
Member
since 12-23-2001
Posts 125


0 posted 12-29-2001 10:23 AM       View Profile for craigrk   Email craigrk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit craigrk's Home Page   View IP for craigrk


On a couch made of clouds
like a mist in a dream
it will come to you
and you will hasten -
In shoes made of dusk
running you headlong
into the dark,
trampling unseen,
out of control
toward an intuition.

Stars crisp against
the black sky
will melt the brown
low clouds like butter
so the worm moon
can point you
to my ashes.

© Copyright 2001 craigrk - All Rights Reserved
lizzyluv
Member
since 12-27-2001
Posts 53
nh, usa. we suck.


1 posted 12-29-2001 12:44 PM       View Profile for lizzyluv   Email lizzyluv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lizzyluv

hmm, i'm not quite sure what to say. i read it a couple times. the intent is clear, and the imagry interesting. i suppose i like.

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

Englishpoet
Member
since 12-18-2001
Posts 54
Birmingham, England


2 posted 12-29-2001 08:45 PM       View Profile for Englishpoet   Email Englishpoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Englishpoet's Home Page   View IP for Englishpoet

Imagry is intersting - i like "couch made of clouds" and "moon can point you to my ashes". Rest is difficult to make out. Did you mean ""worm moon" or warm moon? I would have liked to seen a title.
asif

The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they while their companions slept
Were toiling upward in the nigh

C?
Member
since 12-29-2001
Posts 349


3 posted 12-30-2001 03:34 PM       View Profile for C?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for C?

first verse is really good, not sure what to make of the second, kinda plain I found...I liked the running imagery
strbbux
Member Elite
since 12-19-2001
Posts 3975


4 posted 12-31-2001 04:04 PM       View Profile for strbbux   Email strbbux   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for strbbux

I like your imagery here, but I dont quite understand it all. Is it me? Leading to your ashes in the end, then does that mean that you die? Not quite clear. floria
dieadra
New Member
since 12-31-2001
Posts 4


5 posted 12-31-2001 08:11 PM       View Profile for dieadra   Email dieadra   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for dieadra

Worm moon is a full moon. Pointing you to my ashes is great stuff. Thanx.
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