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Critical Analysis #1
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eventchix05
New Member
since 2001-12-28
Posts 1


0 posted 2001-12-28 11:56 AM



To see it now
Tearing it all apart.
Chaos swallows my young thought thoughts,
As I drown in my unbearable emotions.
Seeping through my pride.
Peeling thoroughly at the door inside
Asking for reality in exchange for the ominous truth
Grasping for uncontrollable tolerance.
Shedding my thoughts to cover my fears
No amount of rage can equal to one solemn tear.
My suffering crawls and encroaches
The misunderstanding of what is not seen.
Confusion tangled in all the anonymous static
In my head, everything is lost.
Wandering into untitled places.
And confronting the effortless pain
My grief grows onto me
Living off my unused pride
Steadily revealing the unknown thoughts
Ideas stroll past the darkness
And appear transparent to others.
The triumph and tragedy.
The endless struggle that soothes and creates what doesn't exist.
I believed in your confusion. You were so completely torn.
I rise above
I sink below
Where others thought perceive as non existent
The unpredictable feelings of being undefined.
Unwanted ideas go through her hollow head.
Ignorance ignoring what's true.
As the pulsing core of the truth.
Is where the haunting memory consumes her presence.
Her eyes ease open, and its purely darkness again.
The sadness floats about,
tasting the unfamiliar.
With its eyes tightly shut
Looking through the shallow dust.
Standing isolated from the rest.
Is the innocence of the purifying truth.
Following her instincts remotely.
Each sobbing moment
Breaks me down slowly
Slowly,
Slowly,
Until I fall apart.

This is my first tie posting.  I welcome any and all advice.  Thanks.



© Copyright 2001 eventchix05 - All Rights Reserved
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
1 posted 2001-12-28 11:41 PM


Hi Chix,

Just got a minute tonight but I wanted to stop and welcome you to the forum. This is a pretty ambitious effort for a first post. I'll get back in a day or two and try to have something useful to say. Meanwhile, I'm sure others will get there before I do.

Check your email for a message.

Thanks and welcome,
Pete

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