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Might Darkness End
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Might Darkness End |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859
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Might Darkness End This misery, woulds't that I not take? And how woulds't thou my darkness know? If, in places dark, I should not go. And sadness, in my heart not listen to. What woulds't thou have me do, my misery to end? A greater place to be. hast thou? Now take me there, and tarry not! No longer will my heavy heart wait. Tis better then, to end this sorrow, great. If light, to me, thou cans't impart, then quickly do, before there be a shattering of my heart. [This message has been edited by strbbux (12-20-2001 09:39 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Floria Kelderhouse - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
i admire the use of old english as much as the next guy, but personally i feel it's mimetic and in the spirit of emerson say to write in your time, make yer time great, forget about the past and glorify the language that you use...that's my opinion... "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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Ousiders Cattermole Junior Member
since 2001-11-02
Posts 27 |
Not to knock your poem, but contemporary poets should never use verbatum from antiquity. Ex: you use thou, and then use my, instead of using mine. And thats just one example. I read another one of your poems and it was'nt too bad. A good tip is to stick with writing contemporary poetry. - There's but few poets alive whom can conquer the meter of antiquity - |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you rich pa for your input, this is the only old english one I tried, not sure I like it either. strbbux |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you outsiders, I went back and looked at the "my's" and tried to picture the "mine" in that place and it was too funny. I was laughing, it sounded so foreign and I think that is what you are telling me, this is the only one I have done in this style (which by the way I found very difficult) and wanted input. Don't think I will try it again..I wanted input and I got it. thank you so much strbbux |
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Ousiders Cattermole Junior Member
since 2001-11-02
Posts 27 |
Rich-pa butchered the quote but I agree, 'great poets write about their times'. I did'nt mean to stop your from trying your hand at another poem, its just I write in an older format, and its not the easiest thing to do. Affliction amid a-wane for all the willows-a-wander Rapt amid a-billow wrought forth for this to ponder. Queerest dreams - Queerest screams Quaintest thoughts of a Query dream. Contemporary poetry is the easiest form to write, thats why so many choose to write in it, and why its easier to get published. |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
i didn't quote him! i just said in the spirit of emerson...it's easier'cause it's us... old english is another language virtually...ofcourse it's harder... "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hey, I think you guys are being a little too hard on Strbbux here. Actually, IMHO, this is pretty well done. And I see nothing wrong with a modern poet writing in Elizabethan English (not old Elglish, BTW). I think it is a great exercise. It is right that one should try to do it correctly if at all though. I can't claim any expertise but only a very small understanding. As I understand it, mine is to my as an is to a in modern English. In this poem, "my darkness" should stay but "my heart" would more properly be "mine heart." But even where the following word begins with an h, my was often used where mine would have been more proper. And Strbbux, keep it up if you want. I think you have done a creditable job here. But I still wouldn't advise doing a lot of these. Thanks, Pete Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr I forgot to say, the meter in the 3rd line of the 2nd stanza breaks a little as I read it. [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (12-21-2001 10:07 AM).] |
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Englishpoet Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 54Birmingham, England |
Hi Strbbux This is well done. But I am told that in modern times we should use modern language. Today’s poets will not use such language. It a good way to show that you can do it even as the old masters. Asif |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Dear Pete, kindnes yet honesty that you have given me is what keeps us writers going. I am so honored to have your comments on my poem and look forward to reading some of yours..thank you so much, will look at the third line, and I am glad to know that my can sometimes be used as in this case. I did not think this to be old english as I looked up old english and it is totally dificult to understand, I am happy to learn it is elizabethan.. I do kind of like the style. But I also admit, that writing todays english is so much easier. I thank you kindly for your comments and kindness. strbbux |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Dear Asif, As always you are kind in your replies to me.. I cherish this. Thank you for giving me the encouragement to continue to learn..I also look forward to reading more of your work...strbbux " Learning, always learning" strbbux |
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