Try to be a bit clearer. This is a little too cryptic, I found it kind of hard to understand.
I like the "X's" at the beginning- I couldn't help but think of the drug. Interesting choice there.
Just don't try too hard- let it come naturally. Be creative, but make sure you are 100% behind the creativity. I think you have a good start, just let the wording come more naturally.
Hope I've helped.
"we are all citizens of the womb before we subdivide
into shades and sexes- this side, that side" -Ani DiFranco