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hush
Senior Member
since 05-27-2001
Posts 1693
Ohio, USA


0 posted 07-12-2001 12:16 PM       View Profile for hush   Email hush   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for hush

The original version of this is formatted differently, but I couldn't get it to work on the page.


Why are we so damn comfortable
with left-justified pages?
Canít we just
E x p e r I m e n t ?
i for one get bored
when my iís and my eyes are all aligned
in horizontal harmony.
are we format-phobes?
Or are we just too lazy to
                      T  r a  v e l (unravel)
                                      the page
with fingers, sight, or mind?
conceptually comatose?
veritable vegetables?
allergic to a little alliteration
not pleasing to the Iís?
itís possible to right good computer poetry
if you donít fall for the letter-writing-
no- sentence- fragment
-punctuate Ėcorrectly Ėand-capitalize those- iís
pitfalls of listening to everything technology tells you (ewe)-
be daring.
Piss your computer off by using it to your advantage.

7/9/01


everything's fine.

© Copyright 2001 hush - All Rights Reserved
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


1 posted 07-12-2001 01:48 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Hush, I wish I could be helpful but I can't stop laughing, this is brilliantly observed.
I love this, and it is suprising hard to adjust to print on the right hand side of the screen.


"Here I am in prison,here I am with a ball and chain There is whiskey in the jar-o" Traditional irish song.

rich-pa
Member
since 02-07-2000
Posts 325
New Orleans, Louisiana


2 posted 07-12-2001 05:24 PM       View Profile for rich-pa   Email rich-pa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rich-pa

haha! awesome, i loved it, a poem about defying conventional means and those accursed computers with all their spell and grammar cheqing!  bravo, i dug it, innovative, fresh, with a little rhyme in it, freestyle, cool, really liked the last line too.

"freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 12-18-1999
Posts 1566


3 posted 07-12-2001 07:09 PM       View Profile for warmhrt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for warmhrt

Hush,

I, too, just absolutely loved this..the anti-convention of it all...the rebellion in it.
And...it made me laugh. Wonderful!

Kris

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 05-11-2001
Posts 1682


4 posted 07-13-2001 10:09 AM       View Profile for Decaflame   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Decaflame


Enjoyed this.  Often wondered how to get everything to the other side of the room, myself...

reminds me of the Fred Astaire piece of dancing on the ceiling....

love it!
Jeen
Member
since 06-07-2000
Posts 92


5 posted 07-14-2001 10:34 AM       View Profile for Jeen   Email Jeen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeen

Hush

As I began to type this I read, "hush encourages constructive critiques: "rip it apart".

Sorry, it was perfect.

Jeen
Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 07-20-2001
Posts 2896
Chicagoland for now


6 posted 07-27-2001 05:49 AM       View Profile for Janette   Email Janette   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janette

Great read....halarious...I enjoyed it very much!

Janette
xEmperorEmber
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 140
tx


7 posted 07-27-2001 07:07 AM       View Profile for xEmperorEmber   Email xEmperorEmber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xEmperorEmber's Home Page   View IP for xEmperorEmber

Very... Ironic, if you would like to read my reply it would be greatly appreciated... i think were in the same boat my friend.  Well goodbye
Great Below
Junior Member
since 07-17-2001
Posts 13
Massachusetts, USA


8 posted 07-27-2001 10:43 PM       View Profile for Great Below   Email Great Below   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Great Below

Very funny and good observations, a piece like this really makes you wonder sometimes just why we are so stuck in being organized.
Force of habit I guess but thanks again for the laugh.
Constance
Member
since 07-28-2001
Posts 338
PA


9 posted 07-28-2001 10:31 PM       View Profile for Constance   Email Constance   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Constance

Love it! I agree, although there I'm sure all your english grammar teachers have bloody noses from the knee-jerks.  Me, wish I had thought of it!

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 08-20-99
Posts 5896
Jejudo, South Korea


10 posted 07-29-2001 10:23 PM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

Nice rhetorical trick.

Okay, I'm a format-phobe, I'm a traditionalist, I'm all those other things you asked.

It doesn't work for me.

If you want to change something shouldn't it be more than simply to change it. What's the reason behind this form?

Just because.

What's the reason behind normal justification?

Convention of course but also you usually take a breath after a line is done, not before the line begins.

Brad
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 11-03-1999
Posts 4427
Oklahoma, USA


11 posted 07-30-2001 10:27 AM       View Profile for Not A Poet   Email Not A Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Not A Poet's Home Page   View IP for Not A Poet

Actually I found this pretty interesting as well as cute. It was well worded and certainly different. Several years ago a friend loaned me a book which was written entirely in this format. It was difficult to read, as was this poem. I don't remember the title but it was a description of Einstein's theory of relativity, written for T.C. Mits (The Common Man In The Street).

Brad, I got a good laugh from you observation that we usually breathe at the end of the line rather than the beginning. Great observation.

I still enjoyed it but I wouldn't want to read a whole lot like it.

Thanks for the chuckle.

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


12 posted 01-22-2004 11:52 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

was looking through the archives and found this gem...

what a laugh!
 
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