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Critical Analysis #1

I have never title this

KirstyOHara
New Member

since 2001-06-07

Posts 9
Australia

0 posted 2001-06-12 08:47 PM

Why do we do it?
We always get hurt in the end
But feelings go on...
And so does life..
With or without you
This time it's without you
We sort of agreed
But with out consulataion
I still like you..
maybe
Even love you
But it could never be fixed
Unfortunatly
Some of your last words were the
one's that hurt the most
We had fun
Most of the time
Fights happen in even
The best of relationships
The best
That was you
That is you
And always will be
I will never forget you
Never
But someone will come along
And I will love them
Maybe
But never as much as I loved you
the time spent was great
And sometimes wonderful
But it's over....
For good or for bad
But I think it is for good
So
Goodbye

"Always kiss your children goodnight"

hush
Senior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 1653
Ohio, USA

1 posted 2001-06-13 01:37 AM

This is really kind of dull, I thought- I felt like I was being beaten on the head with a child's inflatable mallet...

The words are too repetitive and bland. The lines are choppy, unnatural, and they sound forced. The entire piece was kind of a run-on sentence to me, and it didn't work in this particular poem.

Also, this is addressed to someone we don't know, who isn't given any characterization thru this- same with the speaker. It's like hearing a phone conversation of a stranger- there's obviously emotion involved, but I just don't feel it.

Hey you,
Standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles,
Can you feel me?
-Pink Floyd

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